


Overcoming the Battle

by ChristinaL80



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-07 21:51:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17373914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristinaL80/pseuds/ChristinaL80
Summary: This is a Pacey and Joey post-finale fic, starting just before the final scene. What happens when life throws them an unexpected crisis? Beta Credit: Laura, Carrie, and Justyne.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

  
  
**_Chapter One_**

 

　

 

The gentle breeze guided the few developing puffy, cotton candy clouds across the Atlantic horizon. He gazed out over the sea as the tide rushed against the shore and then receded. He inhaled the familiar salty scent of Capeside, Massachusetts, his home for the greater part of his complicated life. This town was the backdrop to his many family conflicts, his childhood pranks, and teenage angst. And contrary to his own popular belief, he would actually miss being a townie, well, a tiny part of him anyway, he thought as a well-known nagging voice cut into his reverie.

 

 “Are you sure about this, little brother?”

 

 Pacey dropped his last duffle bag into the back of his truck before turning to his sibling and did what he did best. He evaded his question with idle chatter. “Like I said last night, Dougie, I wholeheartedly believe the Bruins will go all the way this year. Sure, they had a few mishaps,” he rambled on with a straight face, “but I think they have a great shot.”

 

 “Pacey,” Doug groaned in his perfected irritated tone.

 

 Pacey sighed. God, he wished that he made his getaway five minutes sooner before Sheriff Doug, or formerly referred to as Deputy Doug and still was by Pacey, decided to block his brother’s escape with his patrol car in front of the entrance of the parking lot of Pacey’s apartment building. As much as Pacey was grateful for Dougie’s concern, he really didn’t want to endure another interrogation.

 

 “Honestly, Doug,” Pacey said gesturing with his hands, “I truly believed that finally coming out of the closet and entering the world of domestic bliss would’ve finally removed that stick from up your…”

 

 The Sheriff cut in with humorless laugh, “Here we go again. Pacey, can’t you be serious for one second with me?” he asked but didn’t wait for a reply. “This is a big step, preparing to move your life to New York. You’re a successful business owner now, respected by this town. I just want you to think this through.”

 

 Pacey blew out a long breath and rubbed his forehead, trying to keep his irradiation at bay. “Look, Dougie, I’m not being rash about this. It’s just a weekend trip. I will be back Monday.”

 

 “But you are planning a permanent move?

 

 Pacey nodded, “Like I already told you and Pop, once I find an efficient, full-time manager other than Gretchen, but not before then.” He’d graciously asked his sister to oversee duties at the Icehouse for a weekend here and there, but she was a fairly, new newlywed married to a preppy, but decent lawyer in Maine. Hence why he needed to find someone closer to Capeside to take a permanent position. “Why are you so worried about me? Are you scared that I’ll ask you for another loan to open a New York restaurant or that your already invested money will go down the tubes with the Icehouse? You know, I understood why you got in my face about the Maddie Allen thing. You were right on that front, but I’m finally back on track, I finally have the woman that I have endlessly longed for back in my life, and this is my first opportunity to see her in a month after a chaotic reunion.” Pacey’s voice softened as he admitted, “But I am happy, with no doubts, no reservations. I am just happy for the first time in a long time, so cut me some slack, will ya, man?”

 

 Doug’s demeanor eased a bit at that, “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

 

 “Well, I hurt her too. I ‘d say we ‘re even now,” He said with a hint of regret before his mouth curved into a relaxed smile. “But Joey and I are finally on the same page.” That fact still seemed surreal to him. That somber day of Jen’s memorial a month ago still didn’t seem real. There was a whirlwind of emotions that overtook him that day- sorrow, anger, regret, determination, hope, exhilaration, and peace.

 

 Pacey honestly meant what he’d declared to Joey in the kitchen. He’d wanted to let her off the hook. He’d wanted to find his own happiness even if it was without her. And he truly wanted her to be happy even if he was not the one by her side. He’d experienced a moment of clarity with Jen. Over the last five years, hoping, praying with each sparse email and phone call that one day Joey would crease to be terrified of a life with him was doing him no favors.

 

 So, he let her off the hook.

 

“The simple act of being in love with you is enough for me,” he’d affirmed with a giant lump in his throat.

 

 Only to have the tables turned around on him.

 

 Joey’s moist eyes had met his as she released the words that he’d never thought that he’d hear. She loved him and she didn’t want to keep running. Yeah, there was those words about Dawson being her eternally innocent soul mate, but Pacey knew what she meant.

 

  Dawson was her past. He was her future.

 

 Of course, because of Gale and Bessie’s interruptions, Pacey had to wait hours upon hours before he received confirmation, well, at least it felt that way. But he’d kept himself busy after the mourners and his staff left by doing a second round of unnecessary clean-up and a quick inventory. More than once, his fingers had itched to grab his cell and call over to the Potter B&B, but he held back. This was a time to be with your family and grieve over their dear friend. Pacey decided his unfinished conversion with Joey would have to wait a little while.

 

 So, he made his way to his parents' house where he was greeted with rare hugs by both his mother and father. They sat in a comfortable silence in the living room for a while. The silence was nothing new in the Witter family living room, but this time was different. Pacey didn’t feel any tension with his parents which was common in his childhood but slowly lessened as he’s entered his twenties. The harsh Witter dynamic morphed into an actual family somehow. That isn’t to say that there weren’t still arguments and disagreements with John Witter and his younger son, but they’d found respect for each other as Pacey worked hard to achieve success. And on that particular night, he found much needed support as he grieved for a close friend and waited to hear from the one person, he needed the most

 

 It was close to midnight when the wait ended as Pacey walked up to the entrance to his apartment building. His head was bowed down lost in contemplation when her sweet, sarcastic voice stopped him mid-stride.

 

 “I was wondering what was keeping you.”

 

 Pacey looked up to see Joey sitting on the stoop. Her knees were bent to her chest as a lopsided smile appeared on her bewitching face, her wavy, dark hair gently blew in the night breeze. He’d exhaled the breath he seemingly held in since she left him standing in limbo that afternoon.

 

 And he smiled back, “It’s late. What are you doing here, Potter?”

 

 Her jean clad legs slowly stood up as her doe-like eyes became solemn and he knew her mind turned to Jen, “Today was a draining day, to say the least. A day I wish had never come to pass, a day I don’t want to be repeated…and I needed to see you.”

 

 “And why is that?” Pacey asked softly, barely audible through the rustle of tree leaves.

 

 Her intense gaze melted into his as she admitted vehemently “Because, Pace, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I cannot live without you and I don ‘t wants to.”

 

 And with that he closed the distance between them and wrapped her in a fierce hug as if finally coming home from a long war. “It’s about time, Potter, it’s about time,” he whispered in her ear before he pulled back a bit to grin down at her. Their eyes locked, blue melting into brown. Then his lips descended on hers with years of pent up yearning. The kiss was tentative at first, but quickly deepened, leaving him wanting more…

 

 Unfortunately, his cell started to vibrate in his pants pocket.

 

 They reluctantly pulled apart dazed from desire, not comprehending what caused their unwelcome third interruption that day.

 

 Joey was the first to speak as she reached back into his pocket and pulled out the cell. “I could make a joke about this, but I will refrain,” she slightly smiled as put it in his palm.

 

 It turned out the call was from an urgent Doug. He wanted Pacey to come over immediately. Amy had a high fever, and Jack was going crazy with worry. Evelyn Ryan had reluctantly taken a sleeping pill. She was overwhelmed with grief and needed to rest. They didn’t want to disturb her, Doug said, unless they had no other choice, they had already left a message with the pediatrician’s answering service, but the doctor hadn’t called back yet. Pacey’s heart ached as sad wails from a sick baby came from the background. He closed his eyes and said that he’d be there. And then he looked at Joey with a silent question and her only reply was “Let’s go.”

 

 After an exhausting five or so hours of helping to take care of poor Amy who probably just wanted the comfort of her mother, they drove back to Pacey’s place in a comfortable tranquility as the first rays of light began to peak in the pinkish sky. Once the little girl’s fever had broken and she fall into a deep slumber, Doug and Jack thanked them and told them to go get some rest. They looked like hell, Jack tried to joke as he rubbed his own tried eyes

 

 As Pacey parked in front of the apartment, he had hope that they would finally have more than a moment to reconnect, but luck was not on their side. Maddie Allen stood by the door in all her manicured glory. A jealous scowl etched her face when her eyes landed on Joey. An awkward encounter ensued, an encounter Pacey wanted to forget, although thinking about Joey’s peachy approach to the situation made him smile.

 

 “It’s really nice to meet you, Mrs. Allen…. Yes, I’m that woman Pacey kissed on the dance floor. How nice of you to remember…. As Pacey just said it wasn’t a performance for your benefit. You just gave him the excuse to kiss me and thus, by doing so, you in essence made me realize what I was depriving myself.” Joey put her arm around his waist touching her lips briefly to his shoulder.  “So, thank you and now please excuse us,” She put her hand in his as he led her into the building, leaving Maddie in a huff as the door shut behind them.

 

 ………………………………...

 

 “Pacey, are you listening to me?” Doug asked now, “I know how much you love Joey and how much she loves you, but love is not enough to make a problem free life. Just take things slow. Have you and Joey really had time to discuss your plans?”

 

 Pacey hesitated. He wanted to say everything was worked out, but all he could say was, “W…we talked every night on the phone for the past month.” After the Maddie incident, they did have time to reconnect in his bed, in each other ‘s arms, but only to have sleep overcome them almost instantly as soon as their bodies hit the cushy mattress. A few hours later, they were rudely woken up by her buzzing cell. Her boss had wanted her back in New York ASAP.  Their new best-selling author, Christopher Sade Joey’s newly ex-boyfriend, misplaced a manuscript with important notes in the margins Naturally, according to the brooding writer Joey was the only one who could help find it.

 

 Joey rolled her eyes as she related this to Pacey reluctantly saying that she had to go back that afternoon. This Christopher was going to be a pain in the ass, Pacey had realized, but kept his mouth shut. The last thing he wanted was to ruin their reconciliation with ex-boyfriend talk. Their history had enough of that with Dawson and that Eddie guy to last a lifetime. This was supposed to be their fresh start with no worries of exes, Pacey told himself, and no hasty actions.

 

 This included sex. They both wanted their first time together to be more than a quickie, Thus, they settled for a brief, but ardent make out session with a lot of clothed groping reminiscent of the beginning of their high school relationship. And then Joey left to pack and hit the open road while he went to deal with the daily grind at the Icehouse, leaving them both unsatisfied.

 

 Time, it seemed, was still not on their side. Time and place were their main problem.

 

 But Pacey was determined to change that, to make things work for them, “Look, Dougie,” he argued now, “Joey has the same concerns as you. She does not want me to uplift my life overnight. She even offered to relocate to Boston, but New York is where she’s making a name for herself in the publishing world. I don’t want her to mess with that,” he confessed earnestly, then added on a somewhat witty note, somewhat serious note, “And yeah, I’ve been thinking of what it would be like to be a world-renown restaurateur in the Big Apple.”

 

 Doug sighed, “Okay, little brother, sounds like you made up your mind in that thick head of yours,” he then smiled before saying, “I do want to see you two happy. I’ve always rooted for you guys, you know.”

 

 Pacey smiled at that as he let the tension leave his body, “Ah, Dougie, I’ve always known you were a romantic at heart.”

 

 “Yeah, yeah” his brother waved him off as he started backing up. “Do you want a ride to the train station?

 

 “Nah, I don’t want anyone to think the big, bad sheriff's hauling me to the slammer again.”

 

 Doug laughed and began to walk away.

 

 “Wait,” Pacey stopped him, “you knew I wouldn’t be swayed by your lecture, didn’t you? So, what was this about?” he gesticulated with his hands.

 

 “To do what I do best,” Doug grinned, “to nag you and wish you a safe trip. Give Joey my best,” he called over his shoulder, walking to his patrol car still illegally parked at the lot entry.

 

 Pacey chuckled as he got into his vehicle. Yeah, he’d miss some things in this town, but he was more than ready to set eyes on his future.

 

 ………………………………...........................................

 

“Yes, Rachael, I promise that I’ll have your manuscript completely proofread by Monday.” Joey feigned a polite tone as she ended the tiresome conversation with a new author and hung up the phone. Sitting back in her cubicle, Joey rubbed the tight muscles in her neck. For the past month, she had to deal with over two dozen demanding writers. Upon her return to work, she’d had similar conversations with almost every one of them: _My deep condolences for your friend, but about my manuscript…. Where is my manuscript? Do you have my manuscript ready?_ God, where did all the humanity go in the world? Did people actually have souls or was that just a myth like being safe under an overpass during a tornado? Granted, editing manuscripts was her job, but was sincerity too much to ask?

 

 Joey should’ve known that things would go from bad to worse upon her return to the city. She’d been the “saving grace” to Christopher’s writing career, his words, when she’d located his must-have manuscript under her bed. Easily located by anyone with eyes, Joey thought, wryly.

 

 Yes, she was a fool, a fool to think an amicable break up could happen over the phone. The L _ove is so short, forgetting is so long_ poetic farewell was too good to be true.

 

 “Well, I just thought you needed some space,” Christopher had divulged when she returned his manuscript. “You know, with you finding the ring…. yeah, I guess that. And everything with your friend…I just figured you were overwhelmed.”

 

 Guilt had swept through her as she replied gently, “Christopher, it’s more than that…I just don’t think we’re meant to be.” _Because_ _I’m still in love with my high school boyfriend and we’re back together,_  she confessed in her head, but she didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire at that moment.

 

 The back and forth of whys to the sudden end to their relationship continued for a while. Joey had explained that it was nothing he did or said. This was all on her. In other words, she gave the _it’s not you it’s me_ speech.

 

 But the frustration in the tone of his voice raised to a heartbreaking pitch, propelling Joey to blurt out, “I’m in love with someone else.” A palpable moment of silence followed, then she’d said more softly, “I’m sorry, but I have been in love with someone else for a long time.”

 

 “Who is he?” Christopher had asked flatly

 

 “He’s an old boyfriend from back home, from Capeside,” Joey had admitted gently, “Nothing happened between us until this past week after I called you.” _Except for the weak-kneed lip lock on the dance floor,_ she’d thought dully, but she wouldn’t make that precious moment into something to be regretted.

 

 Christopher just glared at her for several seconds before turning on his heel and storming out of her apartment, leaving her drained.

 

 And that feeling remained every time she’d had to speak to him professionally. Because she was still his editor. Her boss had said that Christopher wanted the best and that meant her. But his cold, impersonal demeanor had not improved, making their working relationship very strained.

 

 And the vibe from her co-workers didn’t help matters. In fact, it was as if she’d been transported back to high school. Only now the whispers and looks weren’t for having a convicted father, but for breaking the heart of the most popular boy and author linked to this publishing house, especially when said boy sauntered into the office for revision meetings for his upcoming release, _Discovering Her Secret Life._ Ironically, the plot involved a man investigating the mysterious life of his ex-girlfriend.

 

 Joey sighed now at her desk, resting her chin on her hand and closing her lids. Was one stress free weekend in her future? She hoped so. God, Pacey could not arrive fast enough. She knew that Pacey had a life in Capeside, a business to run, but she was very grateful to Gretchen for coming to help this weekend. Random emails throughout the day and nightly calls were not as good as the real thing. She missed his mischievous grin that compelled a roll her eyes in feigned annoyance. She missed his tender and loving smile that put her at ease. She missed his melting blue eyes that could warm her in an instant. She missed his simple caress that made her feel alive, his kiss that sent burning desire to her core….

 

 She just missed him.

 

 Joey shook herself out of her dream-like state and looked at the time on her computer. Only 2:05 pm. Another sigh escaped her. Approximately four more hours until she met him at Grand Central. How did she go a month without him? No, how did she go five years without him?

 

 “I know that look,” Susan Moore, one of her few friendly co-workers left these days smiled down at Joey from the adjacent cubicle, “The new beau coming this weekend?’

 

 “Yeah, well, I mean, he’s an old beau, but yeah,” Joey rolled her eyes at her own rambling and then smiled.

 

 Susan grinned back, ‘Well, hope you have fun. You deserve it.”

 

 And with that, Joey’s spirits lifted.

 

 ………………………………........................................................

 

Joey maneuvered her body through the throng of travelers at Grand Central Terminal. The echo of voices bounced off the high domed ceiling, making one feel small and insignificant. A beer bellied man in a Yankee cap almost knocked her over, yelling at a little boy to hold his hand. Joey sidestepped him just in the nick of time. A silver haired woman of about eighty then smiled at Joey as if to say _Don’t you just love New York._ Joey sighed.

 

 She finally made it to the information booth where a line of people stood. Her gaze raised to the four-face brass clock. 5:59 pm. Her heart thumped rapidly in anticipation as she scanned the faces coming through the terminal gate. Seconds passed, then a minute…

 

 Then his dazzling sea-like eyes captured hers.

 

They both grinned, gravitating toward each other, both saying “excuse me” to the maze of people separating them.

 

 And then they fell into the familiar warmth of each other’s embrace as the nosy terminal seemed to disappear around them. Her arms encircled his neck as his hands intimately caressed up and down her back. “Missed you, Jo” Pacey mumbled softly against her lips before they became lost in one another. Jolts of heat shot though Joey as his tongue slipped between her teeth deepening the kiss, making her melt all the more with a mixture of love and want.

 

 When their lips reluctantly pulled apart, Joey whispered, “Missed you too, Pace,”

 

 Pacey grinned boyishly, “What do you say, we get outta here?”

 

 Joey simply smiled, leading him out of the station.

 

 ………………………………..............................................................

 

As softness of dusk illuminated the interior of the taxi taking them through rush hour traffic to Joey’s apartment, Pacey enlaced his fingers with hers. He couldn’t stop touching her even as they relaxed into their usual comfortable banter, his favorite thing to do with her, besides the obvious that is. It had been their initial form of foreplay even when they didn’t know it was in fact foreplay, even when they loved to hate each other.

 

 “So, tell me, Potter,” Pacey began, “why did you insist on coming to pick me up? I could have found my own way to your place.”

 

 Joey lifted her brow, “Why? Didn’t you enjoy our little heated exchange back there?”

 

 “No, I enjoyed it very much, very much” he admitted scratching his chin in an attempt at nonchalance, “But I never took you for a train station reunion type.”

 

 She looked him pointedly, “And oh wise one, what is such a type, may I ask?”

 

 “Ya know, man and woman search the crowd. Suddenly the crowd parts. There's some type of unexplained fog. Man and woman lock eyes and the scene changes to slo-mo and a romantic musical score plays as the couple make their way into a sweeping embrace,” Pacey grinned.

 

 Joey smirked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “Pace, you better be careful. You’re beginning to sound eerily like Dawson.”

 

 “Ouch, Potter, that hurts,” he winced even though he no longer held any ill will toward Dawson. In fact, he was proud of his Hollywood success.

 

 “Besides,” Joey gave a hesitate smile, bringing forth a hint of vulnerability in her eyes that went straight to Pacey’s heart. “What if I do like grand romantic moments for us, to reflect back on at a later date? Would that make me too girly?”

 

 And just like that, the humor left him, and he uttered tenderly, caressing her cheek, “You can never be too girly for me and I mean that with the utmost sincerity.”

 

 Joey rested her head on his shoulder, sighing, “Pacey, I have a feeling this weekend will be over before we even know it.”

 

 He closed his eyes at that, dreading Monday, “I know, Jo, but as soon as I find a full-time manager, I’ll be here…”

 

 She lifted her head and looked at him intently, “I didn’t mean to apply that I want you to rush things with the Icehouse. I mean I want you here, yeah, but that restaurant is your success, your great achievement. You’re diligent with the Icehouse like you are with everything else you care deeply about and I’d hate for you to change on my account.”

 

 Pacey couldn't have loved her more in that moment. Joey always had compelled him to do better. Even when she didn’t hold faith in them, Joey always held faith in him. As his chest tightened with painfully sweet affection for this Potter girl, Pacey touched his lips to hers into a feather light kiss and then said, “Let’s just be about you and me, in the moment, tonight, this weekend. And think about the rest later, no thinking about leaving, work, the outside world. Only you and me.”

 

 Joey nodded giving a lopsided smile, “Okay, I really like that. After the season finale of _The Creek_ tonight, it’ll be just you and me.”

 

 Pacey’s eyes widened as if she just said pigs could fly.

 

 And just like that the poignant moment evaporated. God, he hated Dawson. Yeah so what if it was irrational. Pacey hated Dawson for putting his show on the same night that Pacey planned to spend endless hours having long awaited reunion sex with the love of his life. Leery still found ways to stick it to him,

 

 “Joey, can’t we record it?” he asked, his eyes almost begging.

 

 Joey stared at him as if he grew an extra head, “Pacey, it’s only one hour and we promised Dawson we’d call him afterward,” she whispered as they both caught the suspicion gaze of the cab driver in the rearview mirror. “Plus, tonight’s supposed to be the night that Sam and Petey kiss for the first time, and then she denies any feelings and runs off to Colby.”

 

 Oh hell, just what he needed was to be reminded of _the triangle_ tonight of all nights, “Jo," he whispered back, eyeing the beefy guy with a scorpion tattoo on his left bicep. Why didn’t they notice that before they got into the taxi? Pacey thought faintly before saying to Joey, “Why relive our distorted teen angst when we can write a blissful reality tonight?” he gave a hopeful grin.

 

 Joey smiled, crookedly, “Nice try.”

 

 The cab screeched to a halt

 

 “We’re here,” the driver said gruffly.

 

 Sighing, Pacey took out the money from his wallet and leaned forward. The man swiveled around in his seat taking the fare with a buck tooth grin, “Thanks man, and I gotta say you guys were very entertaining and touching and I’m rooting for Petey and Sam too.”

 

 For a second, Pacey was taken aback by the comment, then turned to Joey. They both smiled, stepping out of the vehicle.

 

 “Hey, we have a fan,” he exclaimed enthusiastically as they walked up to her Upper East Side building.

 

 Joey looked at him and grinned, “It does not take a lot to make you happy, does it?”

 

 “No,” Pacey admitted honestly, “now that I have you.”

 

 ……………………………….......................................

 

Once they ended their congratulatory call with Dawson, Joey promptly returned to her teasing of Pacey, “So why were YOU crying?” she leaned over to him again on the sofa, her eyes sparkling with lighthearted intrigue. “You couldn’t have been that overcome with joy with the Sam and Colby end?”

 

 Pacey shrugged, casually, “I’m all for soulmates getting their shot.”

 

 She laughed, “That is such crap, Pacey! That has always been crap…at least I hope,” she added suddenly feeling sullen.

 

 He eyes her quizzically, “What does that supposed to mean?”

 

 “Well,” Joey hesitantly replied, thinking back to her freshman year ill-fated college try with Dawson. As unfair as it may been, greedy even, it hurt to hear Pacey say that it was time for them to get their shot as if he was completely over her, no hint of jealously nor regret in his voice. “You said something along the same lines about Dawson and me. And I guess, I’ve always wondered if that was truly your sentiment.”

 

 Comprehension dawned in his blue gaze, “What do you think?” he uttered quietly. “No, look at me, Jo,” he insisted when her eyes lowered to her lap. His callus fingers tenderly lifted her chin back up, “I just wanted you to be happy, like I said, but it pained me to say those words just like it pained me to hear you give Audrey and me your blessing.”

 

 “I…I just wanted you happy,” Joey echoed his words, smiling slightly with moist eyes.

 

 “Yeah,” Pacey simply smiled, cupping her cheek, “so you see, it really doesn’t matter if Sam and Colby get together this season or if she ends up with Petey nest season. We know how it truly ends.”

 

 “With you and me,” Joey said softly, mesmerized by his warm touch and intense gaze. She brushed her lips against his chin, craving more of him, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine.

 

 “Just as it should be,” Pacey added huskily just an instant before their mouths came together in a fevered, thorough meeting that sent her mind and body reeling. One kiss became another kiss, and another. Soon their hands and lips were roaming everywhere Her insides liquefied into lava. This time there was no interruptions, just two lovers reconnecting in every way possibly, body, mind, and soul.

 

 At some point in the dizzy haze of desire, they made it from her living room couch to her bedroom, in her bed. Slowly but surely, their articles of clothing faded away. Her want-filled gaze took in his broad muscular form, drinking him in, her mouth and hands then explored his hard-heated skin, making him groan, a groan that was very familiar to her from years past. And the sounds intensified her need for him, wanting to make up for all the time they missed out on because of her own cowardly fear, fear that seemed nonessential now.

 

 When Pacey started his own incredible torment over her body, Joey became lost and her desire for him to be inside of her grew to unbearable proportions   He licked and sucked down her neck, to her breasts, to her stomach. When he finally reached her wet folds, she squirmed and pleaded, “Please, Pacey.”

 

 His darkened eyes met hers, reflecting the same overwhelming desire that she felt. Slowly he entered as if wanting to prolong their exquisite outcome. Inch by torturous inch, Joey felt like they were returning home.

 

 Then, finally they were there, fully joined, completely one.

 

 They instantly found a rhythm and their lips came together hotly again and again, making her lose her remaining control and welcome her freefall.  

 

 And he soon followed with complete fulfillment

 

 A contented peace ensued as Joey’s head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat return to normal. His fingers lazily traced circled on her shoulder, making her lids lower feeling completely sated and happy. This was what she had run from? Joey thought sleepily. It was almost inconceivable now that she had been scared to be with this man who made her feel so good, a man who was so selfless, who satisfied her every need emotionally and physically. She couldn’t imagine ever letting Pacey go again.

 

 His lips brushed her forehead, “What are you thinking in that pretty head of yours?” he asked softly.

 

 She gazed up at him and softly returned, “Just how much I love you.”

 

 ………………………………..............................................................

 

 “I love you, Jo, but we’re not going to share razors. If that happens, this domesticity will surely turn into anarchy,” Pacey argued, wiping the remnants of shaving cream off his chin in the bathroom the next morning. They had a late start to the day. It was close to noon. But neither of them had been compelled to get out of each other’s arms after their night filled with rounds of amazing reunion sex. But now Joey desired something else, his delicious Belgium waffles, and yes, his razor.

 

 Joey rolled her eyes, “Pace, I don’t want to share razors. I just don’t have any useable ones left and forgot to go to the store yesterday,” she countered crossing her arms over her chest. “Why do you have such a problem with this?” she raised a brow.

 

 “Because one razor will soon lead to two. Soon we’ll be sharing deodorant and that’ll lead you to expect me to use your womanly fruity body wash,” his arms flapped up in exaggeration. “And as much as I love the scent on you, it wouldn’t do well for my manly image.”

 

 “You’re impossible,” Joey replied, then tilted her head to the side, her eyes softening, almost pleading, “Please.”

 

 Pacey sighed and grumbled, “Oh no, those eyes,” and in the end handed over the razor. He then pulled Joey to him with the belt of her pink robe. “What am I gonna to with ya,” he whispered before giving her a long, hard kiss.

 

 She smiled crookedly after coming up for air, “As much as I enjoy this, I need to take a shower.”

 

 “Hmmm, why don’t I join you?” Pacey asked huskily, his lips brushing her neck.

 

 Joey shivered, melting into him, “That…that does sound tempting, but I’m starving for your waffles.” she pushed his chest lightly and stepped back.

 

 Pacey moaned, “I see how living with you is going to be and it ain’t pretty.” He then grinned giving her one last peck before walking away.

 

 Joey was all smiles as she entered the shower. As the steaming water cascaded down her body, her mind was consumed with Pacey and the hot night before. She lathered a washcloth with her fruity wash and began to scrub down her throat, then her left breast, and then her right. That was when she unintentionally pressed down on the soft tissue around her nipple. She stilled. Hardness, hardness that she could have sworn wasn’t there the other day. Joey dropped the cloth and explored the area more closely with her hand. Sure, enough there was a pea-like lump.

 

 Joey closed her lids, thinking that her period was still a couple weeks off. It couldn’t be because of that. And as self-conscious as she had been about her body, she’d learned to do self-examinations at an early age, thanks to her mom. Oh God, her mom. A flash of her mom’s pale face invaded her mind. No, it couldn’t be, Joey told herself. It couldn’t be. She was only twenty-five.

 

 Her shaky hand turned off the shower. Banging pots and pans and whistling came from the kitchen. Happiness. She finally had happiness.

 

 Her forehead leaned against the cool tiled wall, trying to fight down the familiar feeling of fear bubbling to the surface. It had to be nothing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
  


 

**_ Chapter Two _ **

 

 

 

Powder sugar dusted the thick, golden waffles as slices of strawberries bordered the plate. A few swirls of chocolate syrup completed the delectable dish. Pacey rubbed his hands together in satisfaction as he surveyed his edible masterpiece after placing it onto a white, laced table cloth near the high ceiling window, letting the late morning rays give the finishing touch to the ambiance.

 

 When Pacey had started working in the food service industry, he was basically looking to make some easy money and to stop Dougie ‘s persistent pestering to get a job, of course. How difficult could it be to follow a recipe? He’d thought. As time went on, however, and he’d learned the basic skills of being a chef, the creative, hibernated part of his mind sprang to life. He’d begun to experiment with different dishes. A pinch of oregano here; an extra spoon full of sugar there. And to his astonishment, people actually liked what he created. Thus, his career as a chef was sealed, despite a few detours. He became a respected restaurateur in his small town.

 

 It brought him a different exhilaration than the open sea, but he loved the feeling of knowing he was finally good at something, professionally speaking, even if his screwed up personal life had fogged up his gratification for his success. He couldn’t relish in it. He just lived in it.

 

 Until now.

 

 The two parts of his life had finally come together.

 

 He finally had someone to share his success with.

 

 He finally had Joey.

 

  Memories from the night before flooded his mind, overwhelming him, warming him from the inside out. Pacey smiled to himself, pouring steaming coffee into mugs. Everything was perfect. They were perfect. Then again, they never had any trouble in the sexual arena of their relationship. It had been everything else that came crashing down around them like a big tidal wave making them struggle to the surface, Timing. Insecurities. His insecurities. Fears. Her fears. They were all part of the wave that had separated them.

 

 But things were different now. They were different now.

 

 “What is all this?’ Joey’s dubious voice pulled him from his thoughts.

 

 Pacey lifted his head and grinned. Joey slowly walked toward the table with her still damp hair, a plain white t-shirt, and jeans. She was the image of gorgeous simplicity. “Breakfast,” he replied.

 

 One side of her mouth lifted in a lopsided smile, “You know, Pacey, you do not have to impress me at every meal with your culinary skills. I was only looking for your average waffles and syrup.”

 

 His brow raised as humor sparked his eyes. “Like ’L’Eggo My Eggo?’”

 

 Taking a seat at the table, Joey gave him a pointed look, “I’m serious, Pacey. You don’t have to be at your very best at every single moment of every single day. I,” her voice hitched, “I just want to enjoy the time we have without too much pomp and circumstance.”

 

 He was just about to take his own seat when her ominous tone made him pause. The words _enjoy the time we have_ sounded very cryptic and limited. His eyes watched her intently as she drizzled syrup on her waffles. Her movements were normal, not out of the ordinary.

 

 Pacey shook himself out of his momentary gloom and he sat down. She must have meant the time they had for the weekend, he decided. His reply was lighthearted, “So I guess that means no moonlit carriage ride in the park tonight.’

 

 He hoped that her face would light up and she’d say, “ _Actually, Pace, that sounds perfect.”_

 

But what he got was a regretful response. “Actually, Pace, I was hoping we could have another quiet night here. Maybe order a pizza.’ As the words left her lips, another quiet night with just the two of them did sound enticing. But with her indirect eye contact and nervous hand gestures, it was obvious that her mind was not on a romantic evening. And she confirmed it by saying, “I have to spend some time today proofreading a four-hundred-page manuscript. I promised the writer I’d have it finished by Monday. And I have a feeling that it’ll suck all the appeal out of a night out on the town.”

 

 “Is this writer Christopher?” Pacey asked, trying to keep his voice even. Over the last month, Joey had related to him the difficult time Christopher was giving her at work. Not only had he argued against every suggestion she’d offered concerning his manuscript, but the guy had made not so subtle innuendo about her relationship with Pacey. Even though Joey hadn’t given him Pacey’s name, apparently Christopher took it upon himself to do a little “investigating” around the publishing house. Joey assumed this when the ass remarked snidely that he doubted that a chef could keep her _intellectually stimulated._

 

Pacey just wanted one moment with the guy to prove just how stimulated he could be.

 

 Joey shook her head, “For once, I can honestly say that Christopher isn’t the problem. It’s this new author who has practically been begging me for the last week to read her script,” she sighed dolefully. “I’m really sorry, Pacey, but this weekend will be about you and me, just give or take a few hours,” her eyes lit with promise.

 

 With that, the tension in his body began to ease. “Well, okay, I guess I could go for a pizza night,” he gave what he hoped was his most agreeable smile, “but only if I make the pizza.”

 

 She rolled her eyes, “What happened to the boy who was satisfied with cold, stale slices from the Capeside pizzeria?”

 

 “He’s still here, I’m afraid. But he doesn’t have majority control anymore.”

 

 “Very witty, Witter,” Joey gave a crooked smile before turning somber. “But I mean it. You don’t always have to go out of your way for me. You don’t always have to take care of me.” her eyes looked sullenly at him, leaving him with a sense of foreboding., foreboding he fought to push away.

 

  _What was bothering her?_ Pacey thought to himself, but he said out loud, “Jo, think of it this way. If I make the pizza, it’ll give you room to work while I go to the store for supplies.”

 

 After she tasted the first bite of her waffle, closing her lids as if savoring the flavor, she smiled, "Well, if your pizza is as good as this, I think I can make an exception.”

 

 And with that, Pacey forced himself to believe everything was all right.

 

………………………………...........................................................

 

 Her eyes took in the words on the page for the third time: _The bolt of lightning sliced across the midnight sky like an inauspicious sign of doom._ Doom. She froze on that one word. The unwelcoming sense of gloom crept inside her, taking root in the pit of her stomach.  As much as she’d tried to act, no, to be happy at breakfast, to relish in the renewed closeness that she had with Pacey, she couldn’t block out what she discovered in the shower.

 

 A lump.

 

 Joey cringed and took off her reading glasses. There was no use trying to work. There was no use trying to deny that this was _something_. Thank God, Pacey had gone to the store. She didn’t want him to pick up on her fake pretense. She didn’t want him to know about this. Not now. Hopefully not ever. Pacey didn’t need to worry over her. Knowing him, he’d want to stay past the weekend and hold her hand and in the process let the Icehouse go into shambles. And there was no way she would let that happen. The restaurant was his life, his crowning achievement.

 

 She could take care of herself, Joey told herself. She would call the doctor on Monday after he left, until then she would have to find some hidden optimism, enjoy the weekend and savor every second with Pacey. Regret suddenly blew over her like a wintry gust of wind sweeping all the years she had wasted to the forefront. She had let stupid fears take control of her life. What if time was running out?

 

 Just look at how relentlessly her mother fought, but still lost.

 

 No, she thought, trying not to go down that dark road. She wouldn’t allow her well known cynicism in the driver’s seat.

 

 But her mother’s confident voice from all those years ago echoed through her mind, _“Joey, honey, don’t worry. The doctor says that it’s probably nothing_.”

 

  Her head fell back against the sofa as the manuscript dropped from her lap. She shut her eyes tightly, wishing this was just an everyday nightmare.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

**__ **

**_ Chapter Three _ **

 

 

“My compliments to the chef,” Joey said lounging back against the sofa as Pacey rinsed off their dinner plates just a few feet away. The dimmer lights were down, setting the room in a lazy glow. The strain of the day became a faint nuisance.

 

 "Well, I try,” Pacey grinned over his shoulder drying his hands on a dish towel. “Pizza is my specialty.”

 

 “It does have the four major food groups. I’ll give you that.” She smirked back.

 

Pacey walked toward her as a new song began to flow out from the stereo. His humorous blue gaze turned to soft tenderness. He halted in front of her and extended his hand, “How about it, Miss Potter?”

 

 Her lips tugged up into a full smile as her hand went into his. Before long, the rest of her body dissolved into his embrace. Her gaze connected with his as they began to sway back and forth. 

 

 

 

  _Somethin’ in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself_

_Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms_

_There’s something’ in your voice, makes my heart beat fast_

_Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life_

 

 

 

 Closing her eyes, Joey rested her chin on his shoulder, absorbing his warm caress across her neck and down her back, bringing her back to when the simplest confessions of I remember everything turned one dance into a momentous occasion consumed with longing and youthful angst, angst that seemed so irrelevant now.

 

  _If you knew how lonely my life has been_

_And how low I've felt so long_

_And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along_

_And Change my life the way you’ve done_

 

 She lifted her head and looked up into his intense features, a slight smile curving across his face Her heart beat faster. His musky aftershave made her pleasantly lightheaded as all the years apart suspended in the heavy air. If only she could go back to that dance five years ago and reverse the painful outcome. So many things she wished had happened differently.

 

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me_

It feels like I’m all the way back where I come from

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me_

_It feels like I’m way back where I belong_

 

 His lips touched hers lightly, forcing all her regrets to retreat, bringing her to the here and now, the one place that she had craved to be for so long. His tongue sought entrance and she obliged. Her fingers tangled through his thick, dark hair as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her more intimately to his length.

 

 She was drowning.

  _A window breaks, down a long, dark street_

_And a siren wails in the night...._

 

 His hand slowly moved up her side, then further until his fingers brushed her right breast. She let out an almost torturous moan and she jumped back.

 

 "Jo,” Pacey exclaimed startled, his forehead crinkling in concern.

 

 “I’m…I’m sorry,” Joey stammered, not able to look at him directly, sweeping strands of her behind her ear.

 

 “Look at me, Jo” he gently ordered.

 

 She reluctantly lifted her head.

 

 “What’s wrong?” 

 

 Could she tell him now? Joey thought. She should tell him, she knew. But could she? The reality of what could be awaiting her recoiled her stomach. If she said the words, it would be real. And dealing with what was real was never her strong suit. She wanted concrete answers before pulling Pacey into this potential nightmare.

 

 But she wouldn’t lie to him either.

 

 “Pacey,” Joey gave a small smile, bordering on solemn, “I can honestly say, as of right this moment, nothing is wrong.”

 

 His brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”

 

 Joey sighed. “It’s been a long day, Pacey. I’ve had my nose in a manuscript most of the day. I’m tired. I have a headache. I…. I promise if there happens to be something to tell you, I will.”

 

 “Well, that sounds cryptic,” he stated, his voice becoming distant.

 

 Joey reached out and took his hand, her eyes pleading with him to understand, “I don’t mean to be, not exactly anyway. Can you just hold me tonight, Pace? I…I just need to feel your arms around me,” her voice hitched with unconcealed emotion.

 

 With worry etched across his face, Pacey just stared at her for a few endless seconds before nodding slightly. He enfolded her in his arms. “I’m holding you to that promise,” he whispered before closing his eyes and kissing her forehead.

 

………………………………......................................................................................

Monday evening at the Icehouse was as chaotic as ever. No rest for the weary when you owned the most popular eatery in town. Pacey had greeted the patrons, checked in with his staff, and made a quick stop in the kitchen to survey preparations. When he finally stepped into his back office, he let out a tired breath, sitting down behind his desk.

 

 He finally had everything he ever dreamed, but everything felt as if it was ready to fall through the icy cracks. The weekend had started out perfect, beyond perfect. His connection with Joey had seemed iron clad. That first night all he could see in her sparkling brown eyes was endless hope for their future.

 

 Then came Saturday morning and that hope began to flicker from her gaze.

 

 What had happened?

 

 Was she having second thoughts?

 

 Pacey had kept waiting for her to open up and tell him what was eating her, but that moment never came. On Sunday, Joey had almost seemed back to normal. She’d put on a bright smile as they navigated through the hustle and bustle of the city. They’d reveled in the sight of symbolic freedom of the Statue of Liberty; they’d enjoyed the array of works at the Museum of Modern Art to Joey’s artistic delight; and then they relaxed and ate in the cozy firelight of the restaurant, One If By Land, Two If By Sea.

 

 But Pacey had still sensed the tension within her. In fact, it had become abundantly clear when she’d fallen right to sleep when they arrived home.

 

  _“The day just wore me out. I’m exhausted,” she’d murmured against his chest_.

 

 

It was not the lack of sex that bothered him. They were never just about sex even if the gravitational pull had never weakened between them. It was the sudden lack of communication that had him at a complete loss. She was hiding something, that much was obvious.

 

 Should he push the issue? No, he decided, not quite yet anyway.

 

 Their early morning goodbye had been bittersweet. Even though his visit hadn’t quite lived up to his expectations, they both didn’t want it to end.

 

  _“I really wish life didn’t have to give us these obstacles,” Joey had confessed, wrapping her arms around his neck_.

 

  _“But we wouldn’t be us without them, right?” he smiled down at her._

 

  _“Unfortunately, that does seem to be the case,” she agreed, her eyes clouding with dispiritedness._

 

  _His heart squeezed, “But to our good fortune, Gretchen has decided to continue her role as an ideal sister and help out next weekend too,” he told her, his voice purposely heightening with hopefulness._

 

  _Her eyes glimmered a bit and her mouth curved up slightly, “Well, I can hardly wait.” She said, meeting his lips in one last, long kiss before he reluctantly walked out the door._

 

 Leaning forward now, Pacey reached for the phone, feeling a bit uneasy about leaving her. The restaurant needed him, but he had an overpowering hunch that Joey needed him more even if she wouldn’t admit it.

 

 Three rings later she was picked up. 

 

 “Hey.”

 

 “Hey,” came her soft reply, “I was just thinking about you.”

 

 “What a coincidence,” he smiled. “Any specifics you care to share.” Pacey chuckled, picturing her signature roll of the eyes.

 

 “I…I just wish we could rewind back to Friday,” Joey confessed gloomily, “and have a do-over. Everything after that was a disaster and I’m sorry, Pace.”

 

 “There’s no reason to apologize, Jo,” he quickly countered. “I just wish you would tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want us to fall into that old pattern. This is a fresh start, right?”

 

 She sighed heavily, “Like I said, there’s nothing wrong. And if there is, I’ll tell you. I love you, Pacey, and I don’t want anything getting in our way this time.”

 

 “Same goes for me, Jo,” he replied gently. “Please if anything does come up, promise me you won’t let it fester.

 

 “I promise.”

 

 After they said good night, Pacey reclined back and closed his eyes, trying to suppress the urge to run back to New York.

 

 ……………………………….......................................................

Joey leaned her head back against the wall of Dr. Meredith Gardner’s waiting room, it had been a shaky few days. Now it was Thursday the day of reckoning. When she first called for an appointment, as luck would have it, there was an opening Monday afternoon. So, even with an overload of work she took a sick day.

 

 All the while, she wouldn’t let her cynical self-make her a nervous wreck. It was probably nothing, she’d chanted in her head.

 

 That all ended, however, when Dr. Gardner had looked at her with serious eyes and said that she’d like Joey to go for a mammogram the next day. She would call over at Presbyterian Hospital and see what they had open.

 

  _“There’s a good chance that this is nothing. With your family history, however, I want to be safe rather than sorry,” the doctor had stated with sincere honesty_.

 

 So, this meant more time away from work, more sidestepping Pacey’s worrisome calls with feigned normalcy, not to mention Bessie’s concern. She couldn’t do this to them, Joey realized. She wanted to tell them, but she also didn’t want to make this situation any more dramatic. It was tug of war with her head and heart. It was essentially her same old song but with a different, drearier beat.

 

 Going through the uncomfortable mammogram was not as terrible as the seemingly endless wait for the results. She had tried to keep herself occupied with her manuscripts, but her mother had invaded her mind., her brown eyes, similar to Joey’s own, turning from bright with optimism to faint and accepting, her voice echoing….

 

  _“I will fight this…I’m not about to give up.”_

 

  _“I’ll always be here with, you, Joey, even if you can’t see me.”_

 

 “Joey Potter, Dr. Gardner will see you now?” a nurse called from the entryway to the back of the clinic.

 

 Joey blinked out of her reverie and stood on heavy legs. As she followed the nurse, her stomach knotted so tightly, making her severely nauseous. As she waited for the doctor, the white walls decorated with Harvard plaques and other awards seemed to close in around her like a vice,

 

Deep breaths, in and out, in and out.

 

 “Joey,” Dr. Gardner’s voice pulled Joey out of her panicked state, taking a seat behind her desk and facing Joey with kind but serious green eyes.

 

 She sat up straighter, ready for the inevitable. “It’s not good, is it?” she asked without preamble. 

 

 The doctor looked down for a moment at her file, then back up, “Well, we don’t know yet. Joey, the mammogram results show that there is a mass about two centimeters in diameter, barely visible. I’d like to schedule you for a biopsy.”

 

 Her throat constricted, “When?”

 

 “As soon as possible, early next week, maybe,” Dr Gardner replied all professional before turning empathic. “Joey, I’m not going to lie. This isn’t going to be easy, but it would help if you had a support system. Very few can handle this alone. Do you have family and friends close by?”

 

 She only nodded.

 ……………………………….........................................................................

First came the jingle of keys and then the turn of the knob. The anxiety he’d carried from Capeside overwhelmed him now as he stood by the window looking absently at the city skyline. After several days of hearing Joey’s tiresome, melancholy voice over the phone, Pacey couldn’t bear it any longer. And when Bessie shared the same worry, he didn’t waste time in getting on the next plane.

 

 Joey walked into the living room, her eyes widening, “Pacey.”

 

 He took in the dark circles under her eyes and thinning face. It had barely been a week, but she looked as if she lost a few pounds. God, what was happening? Was he the cause? Pacey couldn’t help the thought from creeping in like a snake slithering by with his old insecurities.

 

 “What are you doing here?” Joey asked surprised. “What about the restaurant?”

 

 “The restaurant,” Pacey echoed, laughing humorlessly. “Bodie’s taking care of it, but I don’t give a damn about the restaurant. My only concern is you, Jo. Don’t you get that by now.” He almost hollered.

 

 “Pacey, please,” she pleaded quietly, her eyes starting to glisten. “D…don’t make this harder.”

 

 “Make what harder, Joey?” he asked, his frustration boiling to the top. “Look at you, Jo. You’re wasting away. Am I doing this to you? Are you having second thoughts about us?”

 

 “NO!” she blurted out, sobbing now, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I..I..n…need you more than ever right now and it’s scaring me to death.”

 

 For a moment, Pacey just stared at the stricken woman who he’d loved for the greater part of his life. He slowly walked toward her, foreboding replacing his anger. “What is it?” he whispered

 

 She wiped at her eyes, sniffling, “I found a…a  l…. lump.”

 

 His brow raised., her words not registering to him at first, then, “What?”

 

 “In my breast,” Joey explained hollowly. “You know, like my mom.”

 

 Pacey shut his eyes and shook his head, unwilling to believe it, “No, you’re too young. You need to make an appointment…”

 

 “Already have,” she cut in softly. “The…They want to do a biopsy. This is just like my mom.” she repeated brokenly.

 

 His Stomach dropped like a lead weight. The ground beneath his feet seemed unsteady. This couldn’t be happening to her. Joey didn’t deserve this. All her life she’d fought to get ahead, to achieve success and happiness, and there was a battle to overcome at every turn. Now this? Pacey just couldn’t comprehend it. But he would move heaven and earth to prevent her any further agony.

 

 He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her back and resting his chin atop her head. “You’re not your mom, Jo,” he whispered achingly. “And whatever this is I’m not going anywhere.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

  
  
  
  
  


 

**_ Chapter Four _ **

 

 Leaning back in the wicker chair, Joey closed her eyes and tried to lose herself in the harmonious melody of the wind chimes. As a little girl, the sound had meant climbing trees and splashing around in the creek, 4th of July fireworks and her mom’s homemade lemonade. The sound meant simpler times, a time when life wasn’t so complex and nerve-wrecking.

 

 Joey sighed and opened her lids. It was no use. She couldn’t relax. Her eyes glanced upon the strained glass hummingbird wind chime hanging above the Potter B&B’s kitchen window. The bird taunted her as it swayed gently in the early spring breeze, making everything she used to take for granted seem so close, yet so far away.

 

 She abruptly turned away. Maybe coming back for the weekend was a mistake, she thought as she stared out at the creek from the porch. She had agreed to accompany Pacey back to the Cape.  Despite his repeated denials to the contrary, Joey knew that he needed to check in at the Icehouse after his abrupt departure yesterday, but he, true to his word, was reluctant to leave her side. As much as she didn’t want to be anyone’s main priority, especially _his,_ under these circumstances, she was.   _Circumstance_ was the only _C_ term that she could attach at the moment to this particular scare without her stomach becoming a tightfisted knot. So they compromised. Joey would come with him and while he attended to business, she would tell her sister about her forthcoming biopsy.

 

 And so far, it was going better than she expected. Okay, maybe it just seemed that way because as soon as she uttered the words, a guest came out asking Bessie for extra towels after her twin toddlers made a flood in the bathroom. Bessie had no choice but to hurry inside.

 

 Now Joey heard the squeak of the screen door and turned her head. Her sister walked out carrying two glasses of iced tea. “Here,” she held one out to Joey before taking a seat in the other wicker chair.

 

 “So is potential disaster averted in the bathroom?” Joey asked before taking a sip.

 

 Bessie nodded, “All cleaned up.”

 

 They lapsed into silence and Joey’s gaze returned to the scenery. She breathed in the sweet scent from the rose garden that Bessie recently added to the B&B. “It’s peaceful out here,” she said quietly, almost to herself.

 

 “I’m so glad we extended this porch. It’s a great place to read, watch the sunset... or to engage in small talk to avoid what’s really on our minds,” Bessie smirked when Joey turned her head.

 

 “I’m not avoiding it, she said, dropping her gaze to her lap.

 

 “When’s the biopsy?”

 

 Joey sighed and looked up, “This…this Wednesday.”

 

 “I’ll be there.”

 

 She shook her head, “Bess, you don’t….you don’t have to.”

 

 “I want to, Joey.”

 

 “No, okay,” she argued with more sharpness than she intended. This was exactly what she didn’t want. There was no need to take out her anxiety and frustration on others. Sighing, Joey gentled her voice, “I…I mean, it’s just a test, Bessie. A needle biopsy is not major surgery. And Pacey will be there.”

 

 “It’s not the same,” her sister countered, putting her glass on the nearby table. “Why don’t you let people care for you?”

 

 Brushing her hair behind her ear, Joey reluctantly admitted, “I’m doing my best, okay. It’s just been a little more than twenty-four hours since the doctor told me that…that…I…that I might have…have…”

 

 “That you might have cancer,” Bessie supplied gently.

 

 Joey flinched, sniffling she said, “I can’t say it. God, it’s like a cruel joke, Bess. I finally have my life where I want it to be. I finally tell Pacey I want to be with him and now the rug’s starting slip from under me.”

 

 “It doesn’t mean you will be entirely thrown off course. We don’t know anything yet, Jo, “her sister gave a hesitant smile before continuing. “You just can’t close yourself off.  I…I know you’re going to hate this, but I called Dad and he’ll be here tonight.”

 

 Joey’s eyes widened and asked, “Why?” She sighed. “I really didn’t want to tell him until I had the results, Bessie. What am I supposed to say?”

 

 “Exactly what you told me, that you’re going for a biopsy.”

 

 Joey shut her eyes, raising her hand to her forehead. The beginning of a headache thumped to life as she fought back the tears threatening to fall.

 

 Bessie came over and enveloped her into a hug, “It will be okay, sis. “

 

 Even though she didn’t believe the words, Joey welcomed the comfort.

 

 ……………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 “How are you holding up?” Gretchen asked her forehead creased with concern.

 

 Leaning back against the bar and crossing his ankles, Pacey let out a heavy breath. He’d come to the Icehouse to prevent trouble before the Friday night crowd scurried in only to find that his sister already had things under control. Naturally, this meant that he had nothing to do but worry about Joey. For the last twenty-four hours, Pacey had tried to act like his regular carefree, humorous self, for Joey’s sake, while feeling helpless on the inside. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to reassure him every second. He knew already that she was going through hell.

 

 And there was nothing he could do about it.

 

 His frustration had caused him to lash out at his prep cook for having the water for the pasta a bit too high. Frank, being the big teddy bear that he was, stammered, “S…Sorry, boss, I…I was just about to lower it.”

 

 But Gretchen was less than intimated. “What the hell is your problem?” she’d asked Pacey after assuring Frank that he did nothing wrong.

 

 So Pacey told her.

 

 Now he said, “How do you think I’m holding up, Gretchen? I can’t make this better. I can’t say everything will be okay without having doubts and apprehension. And Joey knows it. I..I feel powerless.”

 

 “You’re doing enough, Pace, just by being there for her.”

 

 He dropped his head and sighed, “You’re just saying the compulsory thing because you don’t know what else to say.”

 

 Gretchen nodded. “You’re right. I don’t know what else to say,”  she said wryly, pausing before going into business mode. “So I’ll give you something else to worry about. You need a full-time manager, pronto. I need to go back to Maine early on Sunday. Chad’s brother’s getting married and as his wife I have to go with him, I’m afraid.”

 

 “Well, you did not need to come since I’m here.”

 

 “I’m glad I did. Look at Frank.”

 

 Pacey rubbed the bridge of his nose before saying, “I’m sorry about that. I’ll apologize. And I’ll talk to Susan about taking extra shifts. I’ll be in New York all week…and maybe longer,” he finished, not wanting to think too far into the future.

 

 But his sister shook her head,  “You can’t do that. You can’t ask Susan. She’s a part-time floor manager and has three little kids and a husband who works nights, Pacey. You can’t ask her to take on a full-time manager’s job, some job she didn’t ask for. Pacey, you need somebody permanently.”

 

 “I know,” he replied dejectedly, “I’ve been trying to find somebody reliable for the past month.”

 

 “You’re too picky,” Gretchen accused, “Pace, being a restaurant manager is a demanding position, but it’s not rocket science. I’ll bet the next person to come through those doors can do it,” she turned toward the entrance and froze.

 

 “I’ll do it,” a familiar voice piped in. Pacey did a double take as his father walked up to the bar. He wore his faded Red Sox cap and a navy button down short-sleeved shirt, embodying the image of a stress free existence. This wasn’t the same man who berated and insulted his youngest son, Pacey knew. Sometimes, though, he had trouble leaving that man behind while trying to create a new relationship with the warmer version.

 

 “You’ll do what, Pop?” Pacey asked, hoping he’d misunderstood because he couldn’t imagine-

 

 “I’ll be your manager,” John Witter, former-coldhearted-bastard-of-a-father-and-retired-sherriff-of-Capeside,  replied in all seriousness.

 

 “Well, there you have it, Pace, “ Gretchen grinned, “the answer to our prayers.” She slapped him on the back.

 

 He shot her a dark scowl before saying, “Ah, Pop, as much as I appreciate the offer-“

 

 “I know what ya thinking,” John stopped him, holding up his hand. “ ‘It’s a ridiculous notion. What do I know about the restaurant business?’”

 

 “You have no experience.”

 

  “But I looked after this town for thirty-five years and crime was kept at a minimum,” the retired cop countered with a resolute tone, showing that he wasn’t joking now. “If I could keep this town running smoothly, I can do the same for this place.”

 

 “You’re really serious about this,” Pacey said more to himself than to his father, trying to believe it. The man who once called him a loser wanted to help him run his restaurant. The idea was outlandish, but he really did welcome the offer.

 

 “I say we give him a chance,” Gretchen chirped, smiling. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

 

 Pacey glared at her again, then turned to his father, “Why do you want to do this, Pop? You’re retired. I mean, what do you really know about cooking?”

 

 “Well, doesn’t your kitchen staff know how to cook?” John replied gruffly, raising his brow.

 

 “Yes, but-“

 

 “Do you trust them?”

 

 “Yes, but-“

 

 “Then we wouldn’t have a problem,” John argued before sighing, “The truth is, son, your mother’s driving me nuts. She has her reading and sewing groups to the house and tries to get me to participate. And you know the woman can’t cook worth a damn.”

 

 Pacey couldn’t help but smile and found himself asking, “You really think you can manage this place?”

 

 “I’m willing to rearrange my schedule to show him the ropes,” Gretchen offered with sincerity now.

 

 “I thought you had a life to get back to.”

 

 “I can make an exception for Pop.”

 

 Pacey looked back and forth between Gretchen and their father. He wished that he had more time to think about it. Then again, he had more important matters to occupy his time, to wish and hope for. As much as Pacey loved and cared about the Icehouse, it didn’t compare to how he felt about Joey. She came first in his life. And he needed to be in New York with her, not here interviewing possible managers. The urgency within him won out and he said, “You’re hired, Pop.” He held out his hand.

 

 As they shook hands, a rare, genuine smile broke out across his father’s face, “You won’t regret this, son.”

 

 And in that moment, Pacey believed him.

 

 ……………………………………………………………………………………..

 

 As the golden rays of sunset peaked through the windows of the B&B, Joey told Mike Potter what was ahead for her this coming week. She tried to not sound melodramatic, but her father could read between the lines. They may not always have had a close relationship, especially during her adolescence, but he could still see right through her tough exterior.

 

 As they sat on the sofa, her father asked solemnly “How are you truly feeling, honey?”

 

 Joey swept a strand of hair away from her eyes. “Scared,” she admitted faintly, feeling her throat tighten.

 

 “Thinking of your mother?”

 

 She nodded.

 

 Mike sighed before replying, “I wasn’t there for you girls when you needed me the most. I was caught up in my own stupidity. I truly regret that. I don’t know all that your mother went through, but I do know how courageous she was,” he looked up and closed his eyes as if seeing Lillian Potter in all her heavenly glory, then returned his gaze to Joey. “And I know she’s looking down on you now.”

 

 “I…I know that too,” Joey said softly, smiling sadly. She remembered the cloudy days of her mother’s illness and her father’s imprisonment. Sometimes, the events became jumbled in her mind. It was difficult to recollect what came first. It really didn’t matter. What mattered was that she’d lost both of her parents.

 

 She was just grateful one came back.

 

 Their conversation turned toward a different, more factual direction as Joey relayed what her doctor had said. Then her father asked, “Is there anything I can do?”

 

 Joey shook her head, not really giving much thought to the question. At that moment, though Bessie walked over from the kitchen carrying a tray of coffee.

 

 “Maybe there is, Dad,” her sister offered as she handed each of them a mug. “Joey, Pacey’s still looking for a manager, isn’t he?”

 

 “Y…yeah,”

 

 And Dad, you’re still looking for a job?” Bessie asked, sitting down in the adjacent rocker and putting the tray on the coffee table.

 

 Joey raised her brow, “Dad, what happened to your job at the diner.” The Wesley’s’ Diner in Falmouth had hired him about three years ago as a waiter. Then six months ago he was promoted to manager. Joey knew that her father didn’t see it as a big accomplishment, but she was proud of him. And happy to know that he found some peace and contentment.

 

 “Went under,” he replied, almost sheepishly before taking a gulp of coffee.

 

 “It’s not his fault, Joey,” Bessie jumped in defensively. “The diner went bankrupt.”

 

 “I didn’t mean anything by it, Bess,” she argued, “It’s just that nobody told me.” She looked at her sister pointedly.

 

 “It’s all right, guys,” their father cut in, “I will find something in no time. I already have feelers out there.”

 

 “Who needs feelers,” Bessie responded, “The Icehouse needs somebody.” She gazed at Joey as if expecting her agreement. When it didn’t come, Bessie prompted, “Joey, don’t you think Dad would be perfect for the position?”

 

 There was nothing like being put on the spot. “I…I…”

 

 “It’s okay, Joey,” he gave an understanding smile before addressing his other daughter. “Bess, I don’t think Pacey wants the ex-con who’s responsible for getting the original restaurant burnt down to run things.”

 

 “Nonsense,” Bessie shook her head. “You really don’t know Pacey. He’s not the type of guy to hold prior offenses against you, right Jo?”

 

 Just then, the front door opened and Joey smiled in relief, watching the man in question walk into the room. “Let’s just ask Pacey.”

 

 “Ask Pacey What?” he grinned at her and then gave her father a nod in greeting.

 

 “Bessie wants you to hire Dad as manager.”

 

 Pacey looked at the three of them and laughed, “You’re an hour late. I just hired my father. Care to be partner, Mr. Potter.”

 

 …………………………………………………………………………………

 

 Several hours later, Joey walked through the threshold into her old bedroom, wearing old, gray drawstring pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. As luck would have it, this room wasn’t supposed to be occupied by nosey tourists for the next few days. For that, Joey was grateful. She wanted the comfort of familiar surroundings; maybe they’d entice her into much needed sleep.

 

 She heard Pacey before she saw him, “Pop, I know that.” When she turned her head to the right, she observed Pacey in his favorite Bruins t-shirt lounging on her bed, his cell to his ear, mild aggravation laced his voice. “No, I’m not making a tremendous mistake. Mike Potter knows the business and can help you, Pop,” he paused; rubbing his closed lids with his thumb and forefinger, pinching the bridge of his nose, and then suddenly blinked them wide open. “The Icehouse won’t return to ashes,” he sighed as his free hand began to fly wildly as he spoke, “Why can’t you give the guy the benefit of the doubt? What? I’m not getting back at you for my lousy childhood, Pop.”

 

 Joey rolled her eyes at that, but she wasn’t surprised at John Witter’s less than thrilled reaction to Pacey’s newly constructed managing plan. At first, Joey, herself, was cautious Hell, even her father tried to reassure Pacey that he shouldn’t feel indebted to him due to his relationship with Joey. Translated, her father would rather jump off a cliff than work with the former sheriff. But after an hour long discussion, it was Pacey’s cleverness and wit that had Mike Potter nodding in agreement and shaking his hand.

 

  A partnership was made.

 

 Mike Potter had the restaurant experience while John Witter had the respectability in the town. They would make a profitable team, according to Pacey and Joey had to concur. Tourists and residents of Capeside alike would flock to the Icehouse to see the ex-con and retired cop working side-by-side, and they’d stay for the delectable grilled salmon or chicken parmesan.

 

 If only the two men would get along.

 

 As Joey moved closer to the bed, Pacey turned his head, his eyes meeting hers instantly softening his strained features. He smiled at her as he concluded his call, “Pop, I gotta go. We’ll talk more tomorrow. Goodnight,” he clicked off his cell and put it on the nightstand.

 

 “Don’t rush on my account,” Joey smirked removing the extra pillows before sinking down onto the mattress.

 

 “Believe me, I wasn’t,” Pacey responded dryly, “That call couldn’t have ended a moment too soon.”

 

 She rolled onto her side to face him, bracing her elbow on a pillow and resting her cheek upon her upturned palm. “So how opposed is your dad?”

 

 “Let me put it this way,” he replied, folding his hands under the back of his head, “he refuses to quit. He doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction and he wants to catch your father red handed. The good ol’ sheriff’s convinced that he’s up to his ear in illegal activities and he’s gonna drain me dry.”

 

 “And you aren’t a little cautious about it, given my dad’s track record?”

 

 “No,” Pacey said simply, narrowing his eyes, “are you?”

 

 Joey shrugged, “Not really, but the past isn’t easy to forget. This could very well be a potential nightmare, you do know that, right Pace?”

 

 “That’s why,” he said amusingly, “I have Gretchen as referee.”

 

 “You don’t mind leaving your sister with two men who could possibly kill each other and her in the process?”

 

 “She can handle it; after all she was born into the Witter clan.”

 

 Joey’s lips curved up slightly, “You have a point.” But then she became sober, “Pacey, you know you don’t have to go back with me Sunday.”

 

 His smile receded, “What do you mean?”

 

 She hesitated, “It’s…It’s just that you don’t have to stay by my side at every second of every day. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not going to break without you holding my hand, Pacey. Whatever the results say, life needs to go on. I still need to work. You still need to make a living.”

 

 “I know all that, Jo,” he replied gently, bringing his hand to her cheek. “I just want us to be in the same city. I love you, Jo.”

 

 “I love you too,” Joey said softly, moving into his opened arms. She kissed him lightly on his lips before resting her head on his chest and looked up at him with a smile. “Despite what I said, I’m glad you will be in the same city.”

 

 “I’m glad,” Pacey whispered, brushing his lips over her forehead. She shut her eyes and started drifting off to sleep, pushing the days ahead out of her mind.

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

 

 

**_ Chapter Five _ **

 

 After Joey walked into the darkened apartment, she glanced out the living room window at the gleaming lights from other buildings and skyscrapers taking over the evening sky. Normally, the lights signaled the end of a busy workday, the time of day to forget your anxiety and stress over writers and manuscripts and just sit back and wind down, Joey thought.

 

 But not now, not tonight.

 

 It was only the beginning of what was sure to be an endless wait.

 

 Suddenly, there was a click behind her and the apartment lights flashed on, making Joey squint, breaking her daze. She turned around to see Pacey standing in the doorway with a faint smile on his face.

 

 He broke the silence by saying, “Well, I have good news. We only got junk mail today.” He went to the side table and put down a few envelopes.

 

 Her lips perked up slightly, “At least there’s good news about something.”

 

 Pacey faced her intently then, but asked casually, “How about I make a quick dinner?”

 

 Her hand went to her uneasy stomach feeling as if her muscles were in a constricting vice. “I’m really not hungry,” she replied, “I just want to change and watch some TV.”

 

 “I’ll put something aside for you then.”

 

 “Okay” Joey nodded before heading to the bedroom.

 

 She shut the door and leaned back against it, closing her eyes. She should have felt a bit relieved, Joey thought. The biopsy was over and all she had left over was a little soreness from the needle. She should be relieved that the procedure took less than a half hour and that the pathologist thought that they took enough samples. She should be relieved to be able to go right home.

 

 Why then wasn’t she relieved?

 

 Because this was the easy part. The thought pushed forth in her mind. It was something that was always there. Joey always knew that the biopsy was the easy part, but she wanted to feel a bit better after today. The truth was, though, that she wasn’t any closer to _better_.

 

 The results were still an unknown.

 

 Would she be stage 1, stage 2, or stage 4? Would she need a lumpectomy, radiation, or chemo? Or all three?

 

 No, Joey shook herself out of despair. No, she wouldn’t crumble and let whatever this was get to her and consume her. As she’s told Pacey the other night, life needed to go on. Joey would go to work tomorrow and put her worry aside for a few hours. Tonight she would relax and watch some TV with Pacey and have a good night’s sleep.

 

 Yeah, that was what she would do. Joey pushed some wayward stands of hair away from her face and straightened from the door.

 

 Now how could she make herself believe it?

 

 .....................................................................................................................

 

 At the sound of the bedroom door closing, Pacey sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. He looked over at the package of defrosted chicken legs on the kitchen counter and then he turned toward the sofa. He wasn’t in a big rush to eat himself.

 

 After Pacey sat down, he grabbed the remote on the cushion and was about to click on the TV when his gaze landed on the cordless phone. God, he wished it would ring with good news or any news for that matter. It was the unknown that was killing Joey, Pacey knew. At least if they had some answers, they would know what she was facing.

 

 Or maybe that he was just fooling himself.

 

 His mind wandered to earlier in the day…

 

  _After the nurse had called her name, Joey squeezed his hand and stood up. Pacey gave a small smile as he gazed up into her uncertain eyes. Her mouth twitched at the corner, trying to become a half-smile, but not quite making it. They’d already gone over what to expect from the procedure with Dr. Greene, the attending physician, and Joey had went through all the paperwork. Now the time was here._

 

  _Pacey watched as Joey turned and followed the nurse around the corner. Letting out a weary breath, he’d looked around the semi-circular waiting room of the breast care center. Over to his right a middle-aged couple sat, the woman was reading a People magazine while the man rested his head against the wall, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Why were they here? Pacey had wondered. Was she sick? Maybe they were here for someone._

 

  _“Hey.”_

 

  _At the burly voice, Pacey jerked his head around to see a lumber jack of a guy in his early sixties holding out a cup of coffee._

 

  _“Here, drink this. You look like you need it more than me.”_

 

  _“Ah,” Pacey hesitated before taking it, “thanks.”_

 

  _The man took a seat across from him, “I’m Les.”_

 

  _“Pacey.”_

 

  _“This is your first time here, I take it.” It was a statement, not a question._

 

  _Pacey nodded,   ”How could you tell?”_

 

  _“You’ve got that scared shitless look.”_

 

  _“I was trying for the supportive look,” Pacey’s lips tugged up slightly, trying to give his words the air of humor._

 

  _Les shook his head, “They can always see through the strong façade.”_

 

  _“What can I do?” Pacey’s false bravado crumbled and he found himself asking, “If the results of the biopsy say malignant, what can I do?”_

 

  _“Just listen and pay attention, get second and third opinions and be a shoulder to cry on. That’s all you can do,” Les offered before divulging, “Elise, my wife, just wants to remember what home feels like. She’s having her second round of chemo this time around, been in remission once. Lately these walls seem more familiar to us than our home,” he shrugged and laughed humorously. “But what can you do?_

 

  _Pacey leaned forward and asked, “How’s she doing?”_

 

  _Les shrugged, “The doctor say Elise has a good chance of beating it again. But you just have to take it day by day,” he sighed, slapping his hands on his knees as he stood. “I better go check on Elise.” He looked down at Pacey full of empathy, “I hope I don’t see you here again, no offense.”_

 

  _“None taken” Pacey murmured even though the man had already walked away._

 

 …………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 “Is a black screen entertaining?”

 

 Pacey shook himself back to the present and turned his head to catch Joey’s smirk. He then gazed at the remote in his hand, “Reruns. Summer hiatus, you know,” Pacey joked as his eyes took in her navy t-shirt and navy and white pajama bottoms. “You look comfortable.”

 

 Joey shrugged, “Might as well be now when tomorrow will be an extremely long workday.” She went to the other end of the sofa and plopped down curling her legs up.

 

 Pacey narrowed his eyebrows, “Are you sure you…”

 

 Joey cut in, “Pacey, I will be fine. I just had a long lecture from Bessie about how I shouldn’t push myself, that I don’t have to prove a point.”

 

 “So you called Bessie?”

 

 Joey nodded, “I promised to call to assure her that everything went okay today. She’s still quite pissed that I didn’t want her here.” Joey lowered her lashes, something Pacey knew that she did when she didn’t want to admit the truth.

 

 “Well, I’d be pissed too,” his lips curved up slightly.

 

 Her eyes met his and she said, “Okay, maybe Bessie should’ve come. I know I’m not handling this thing perfectly.”

 

 Even though her tone was casual, Pacey could sense that Joey was serious. He knew that she wanted to deal with this with her own preset rules. But the trouble was that there weren’t any rules on emotion, especially in this case.  As Pacey looked into Joey’s vulnerable eyes, the shattering ache that had pierced his chest for the past week became excruciating. “Nobody does, Jo,” he said softly. He moved closer to her and put his arm around her shoulder.

 

 Joey leaned into him and Pacey felt her body relax like a balloon slowly deflating after a long journey across the sky. And the tension within him eased as he caressed her back.

 

 After a few moments of contentment, her eyes lifted back to his and she asked, “Why don’t I smell anything cooking?”

 

 “What?”

 

  “I thought you were going to make dinner.”

 

 “Well,” Pacey explained, “since you declined my offer, I decided to wait a little while.”

 

 Her eyes sparked with amusement “What if I changed my mind?”

 

 Relishing in the bit of normalcy, Pacey grinned, “Then, I’m obligated to serve you.”

 

 With that, Joey broke out with her first genuine smile of the day, drawing him in until his lips met hers in a lingering kiss, blocking out the uncertainties, making the evening almost seem like any other if only for a moment.

 

 …………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

 Pacey was just about to enter Scully’s when his cell vibrated. He stepped aside under the restaurant’s green awning and checked the number. It was either Joey or yep, it was Gretchen. She’d called every day ranting and raving about how Pacey pushed her blindly into the pits of hell. Their father hadn’t exactly made things easy on Mike Potter, as Pacey had expected. But John Witter took his hatred to new levels by shadowing the other manager around, checking the books three times a day for discrepancies, and searching each delivery for drugs.

 

 However, the two men had so far managed to remain professional in front of the diners. The sheriff seemed to take to his new position quickly, for that Pacey was relieved. As for Mike, he remained all business and most people’s willingness to not hold his past misdeeds against him seemed to put Mike, and therefore Pacey, at ease.

 

 “Hey Gretch,” Pacey answered the call, covering his other ear to block out the rush of New York City traffic “How are you this Friday morning?”

 

 “Let’s just cut the pleasantries, little brother,” his sister replied, “I just wanted to remind you that I’m leaving tomorrow. Grumpy and grumpier are on their own from here on out.”

 

 “Has Pop’s attitude toward Mike improved any?”

 

 Gretchen laughed, “Since yesterday? No, Pop’s still his suspicious self, but Mike can hold his own. I think things will be fine. They’re both professionals,” she paused then changing her tone, “How’s Joey?”

 

 Pacey sighed, “Same. No news.” Wednesday night had been nice. They enjoyed dinner and watched _Naked Gun,_ a comedy that was sure to induce mindless laughter, which was Pacey intention when he’d picked it. Anything to keep a smile on Joey was his priory.

 

 But as the hours passed and still no word from the doctor, Joey became more and more jittery and frustrated. She couldn’t sleep, Pacey knew, from the tossing and turning and punching of pillows from her side of the bed.

 

 “Give Joey my love,” Gretchen said as their conversion ended.

 

 Pacey then tried to get his mindset on his forthcoming job interview. On Monday, he had connected a few acquaintances that he’d met through the Icehouse and through their connections Pacey had gotten wind of an opening for the head-chef position at Scully’s, where, according to one critic in the Post a few months back, _you’re_ _served the worst authentic Irish-American fare that you will ever know._ Pacey wondered what happened to the chef that earned that critique.

 

 Some would say Pacey was taking a step down, but he just thought of it as testing the waters before taking strides to open his own restaurant in the city.

 

 When he walked into the establishment, he was hit right away by the elegant Irish décor. Cushioned intricately designed chairs surrounded round tables that scattered the middle floor while booths filled out the area by the windows, all in forest green.

 

 “Witter?” came a familiar voice through the vacant room.

 

 Pacey jerked his head to the right and his eyes widened, “Drue Valentine.”

 

 The once troublemaking teen, who had despised the idea of work, resembled your ever day bartender as he wiped down the counter. The image didn’t compute with the cocky, arrogant guy Pacey remembered from the halls of Capeside High. Then again, Drue did like to serve alcohol and other inebriating substances at parties and raves, he thought, grimly.

 

 “You work here?” Pacey asked as he went closer to the bar. “You of all people.”

 

 “Incredible, huh?” Drue laughed.

 

 “How long have you been here?”

 

 “About three years,” Drue shrugged. “My parents cut the purse strings and I didn’t want to end up at death’s door, so I thought what the hell-Get a job and go to grad school.”

 

 “Grad school? Pacey echoed, unable to keep the surprise from his voice.

 

 “In my second year at NYU.” Drue threw the rag over his shoulder into a tub.

 

 “How did that happen?”

 

  “It was Jen actually” Drue said, becoming reflective. "A few years ago, Jen came in here, the only time she did, and we commiserated about our lives. She said, ‘You’re a mighty fine bartender, but don’t you want to do something else with your life’,” he gave a laugh, but his eyes were solemn.  “It was a shock to hear what happened.  Jen and I didn’t always have the best relationship, but I considered her one of my few good friends.”

 

 Pacey dropped his head and smiled slightly, “Jen always had a unique wisdom.” _As much as you want to, you can’t rely on someone else to make you feel alive. It’s an inside job,_ Jen’s last words echoed in his head, the words that had propelled him to find some closure, but in return gave him a new start.

 

 “So, what are you doing in the Big Apple?” Drue cut in to his thoughts, “I thought you owned a restaurant in Mayberry.”

 

 Pacey just ignored that, and replied, “I do, but it was time for a change.”

 

 “And Joey, doesn’t she live here now?” Drue looked at him slyly.

 

 Pacey nodded, “She does.”

 

 “What does Dawson think of you shacking up with his soul mate Sam?”

 

 “We are…Wait, you watch _The Creek?”_

 

 Just then, a bald, heavyset guy rushed in through backdoor, which Pacey assumed was the kitchen. “You must be Pacey Witter,” the man hurried to shake his hand. “I’m Scully, Scully McAvoy. I heard good things about you, good things. When can you start?”

 

 “Uh,” Pacey blinked, “excuse me?”

 

 “Can you start now?” Scully asked a little impatiently.

 

 “I thought I was just coming in for an interview.”

 

 Scully shook his head, “There’s no time for that, no time when I have a crisis.”  He practically pushed Pacey toward the kitchen.

 

 “Well,” he began, “I just think-“

 

 “Yes, Mr. Witter, we’ll talk later, but the beef is burning right now."

 

 The beef was burning? Now that critique made sense. As Pacey followed his new boss through the swinging doors, he heard Drue chuckle and call back, “Welcome to Scully’s, Witter, where no day is dull.”

 

 ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 Joey’s gazed at her computer monitor and sighed. She still had dozens of emails and voice mail messages left to return, not to mention a pile of manuscripts waiting for her attention. But it was a distraction at least, she thought glumly.

 

 The last couple days had made her a nervous wreck. Thankfully her boss was very understanding and sympathetic. He’d said that he would accommodate her, meaning if Joey wanted, she could have a reduced workload. But she wasn’t there yet. She needed the work, she needed the outlet. Unfortunately, it meant that Joey still had to deal with _inconvenienced_ writers who wanted to know why she had taken so much personal time. Joey didn’t feel like she had to tell them specifics, at least not yet. All she had been telling them was that she had a health matter. Most of them were satisfied with that, and that made the day a bit easier.

 

 The phone rang, making Joey jump, her mind automatically going to the results. She took a deep breath and answered, “Hello, Joey Potter speaking.”

 

 “Oh, you finally made it in today,” Christopher replied dryly.

 

 Joey almost groaned. She should’ve anticipated Christopher calling. He had left messages for her on Wednesday and even called her cell, asking if she’d read his revised final chapters while leaving subtle little digs. The only reason Joey thought he didn’t call her directly at home was that he didn’t want to deal with Pacey. Christopher still hadn’t moved on from their breakup and he’d began to cross the line “I was also in yesterday too, Christopher, as I believe I mentioned in the message I left for you yesterday.”

 

 “Well, I was out of town visiting family. You know them right, Joey? We had Thanksgiving with them last year. I know you’re too busy with what’s-his-name to remember that or anything else for that matter, especially your Job.”

 

 Joey did not need this right now and she lashed out, “This is harassment and I’m beyond putting up with it. If you’d listened to your voice mail, you know I had a doctor’s appointment Wednesday and last week I went home to Capeside. And yes, I went over your revisions, but I’m tired of your unprofessionalism. Find another editor, Christopher!” she slammed down the receiver.

 

 Her grip hadn’t even loosened when the phone rang again.

 

 “What?!” Joey snapped.

 

 “Joey?” a woman replied, “This is Dr. Gardner.”

 

 She froze, her heartbeat racing, “I’m sorry…I…’m sorry.”

 

 “I have your lab reports from the Presbyterian Breast Care Center.”

 

 Joey’s throat constricted and she could only say, “Okay.”

 

 “I want you to come in to discuss the report. I can make you my last appointment today at six o’clock. Is that alright? ”

 

 “That’s fine,” Joey replied, letting her pulse drop back to normal. “Ah, can I ask, is this your routine procedure or is it that serious?”

 

 “It’s routine procedure for certain cases, but I just called you directly because I have a few free minutes. And I know how stressful this can be”

 

 Once the call ended, Joey didn’t know what to think or feel. At this point, she just wanted to know.

 

 ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 Joey’s glanced at the empty chair next to her, wondering what was keeping Pacey. She had called his cell and left a message to meet her at Dr. Gardner’s office and even texted him. He didn’t get back to her, but Joey thought he’d be here.

 

 Dr. Gardner took a seat behind her desk, checking her watch, “We can wait a few minutes.”

 

 Joey began to shake her head, “N-“

 

 Just then, there was a tap on the door and Pacey poked his head in, ”Hey,” He walked in and sat down, “I’m sorry I’m late,” At Joey’s questioning expression, he said softly, “I’ll tell ya later.”

 

 After Joey introduced Pacey to Dr. Gardner, the Physician looked at her directly and replied, ”Joey, the report says that the mass appears to be benign.

 

 The knot in her stomach started to uncoil. Her eyes turned to Pacey and she saw his features start to relax and he squeezed her hand.

 

 “However,” Dr. Gardner’s continued, making both of them turn back abruptly in her direction. “This benign tumor is called hyperplasia, which is basically the accumulation of abnormal cells in the breast duct.”

 

 “What does this mean?” Pacey asked.

 

 “Atypical hyperplasia is a precancerous condition that slightly increases your chances for breast cancer in the future. And for people under forty- five, like Joey, the chances are even higher without treatment.”

 

 “What treatment do you mean?” Joey asked nervously

 

 “First, I suggest more testing of the tissue, and then if nothing else’s found, there are multiple options. There are medications…The other option that reduces the chances of breast cancer by half for those at high-risk is…a prophylactic mastectomy.”

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

  

 

  

 


	6. Chapter 6

_**** _

_** Chapter Six ** _

"You're still here," Joey said groggily walking into her living room toward the kitchen. The morning sun wasn't streaming into the apartment which obviously meant that it was closer to the afternoon hour. All who had a nine to five job on a Friday or who weren't recovering from a surgical biopsy were probably out of their pajamas and at their place of employment at the particular moment.

This did not include Joey.

"Sorry, Sis," Bessie replied, placing the coffee pot back on the counter and turning with a steaming mug in hand. "You're stuck with me for three more hours. My flight leaves at four."

Joey's eyes widened, "It's one in the afternoon?"

Her sister nodded, "Yep, looks like it's becoming your normal wake up time." She handed Joey the mug.

Joey restrained from rolling her eyes as she went back to the couch and sat down, "I thought we agreed to a truce last night," she said remembering her sister's apology and her own apology quite clearly. For the last month, everyone around her was on pins and needles, most specifically herself. Getting the news that she probably didn't have cancer, but the probability was quite high that she could have it in the future was a shock to say the least. Joey did the most "un-Joey" thing and called her sister to come for extra support, which Bessie was more than willing to give. The older Potter sister had put the B&B in the more than capable hands of Bodie and flew out to New York a day before Joey's surgical biopsy, which Dr. Gardner had said was the best option to rule out cancer entirely. However, now that it had been a week since the procedure, which had given cancer free results, yet left that inevitable _someday_ waiting in the wings, Joey was beginning to regret having her sister here.

What should she do next? Bessie kept on questioning. What was the next step? Should she have a second and third opinion? Should she have a preventative mastectomy? And so on and so forth. Never ending, it seemed.

" _What does Pacey say?" Bessie had asked last night while she washed dishes and tidied up Joey's kitchen after dinner._

_Joey looked up from a manuscript she had been trying to read and asked, furrowing her brow "What do you mean? 'What does Pacey say?' "_

_Bessie rolled her eyes, "Have you two talked about your options?"_

_Joey nodded, "Of course, Bess, we talked about it. He, unlike you, understands that it is my body and my decision. He understands that I need space and time." Joey had cut herself off before mentioning that Pacey always seemed to be at the restaurant these days and they hardly had time alone since she was given a clean bill of health. But really, who could blame him? Joey thought. He needed to work and it gave him the excuse to be away from this suffocating apartment._

" _Time and space?" her sister folded her arms, turning her gaze on Joey "Nice way of saying avoidance."_

" _It's only been week….I still have gauze wrapped around my chest. Geez, give it a rest, Bess."_

" _A mastectomy would reduce your chances by ninety percent. You would have a better chance of getting hit by a bus than getting breast cancer."_

" _I feel like getting hit by a bus right now," Joey snapped._

_Right then, Bessie had frozen and lost her fight. She'd apologized and said that she was just worried about her little sister. Joey's irritation receded in return and she'd said that she understood. If the situation was reversed she would probably be as annoyingly persistent_.

Now Bessie sighed as she sat down beside Joey, "I didn't mean that….I just don't want to leave here today knowing that you still need to figure things out."

Joey brushed some hair behind her ear and replied, "Dr. Gardner said that there wasn't a rush to decide. I…I just need to have some control back in my life. This sleeping in isn't some sort of depression. It's a side effect from the Vicodin, which I should go cold turkey," Joey rumbled on before sighing, " I'm going back to work next week, and you know, be productive and maybe then get a second opinion."

Bessie nodded, "As you may guess, I don't agree with that plan, but I won't push anymore, Jo. However, may I give you a word of advice?"

"You'll give it to me, no matter what I say, so go ahead," Joey's mouth reluctantly curved into a slight smile.

Bessie smirked before becoming serious again, "Don't shut Pacey out. I may have been the third wheel around here lately, but I think Pacey feels left out in the cold. He may be giving you space but don't let that space get too wide."

Joey dropped her gaze. She didn't need that piece of advice. She already knew it.

…...

Pacey yawned and ran his fingers through his tousled hair as he made his way to the bathroom. His tired eyes widened and he stopped in the doorway. Joey stood by the vanity facing the mirror as she applied her makeup. She wore a, short sleeve, yellow blouse. Her hair was pulled up in a knot, a look of simple elegance that Pacey hadn't seen the last few weeks. His mouth tugged up in an affectionate smile even as his mind wandering back to the look of shock on Joey's face after Dr. Gardner had uttered the words _prophylactic mastectomy_.

And he remembered the difficult days which followed, one night in particular.

_As the rush of city traffic reached their darkened bedroom from twenty floors below, Joey had whispered against his chest, "Why do I have options?"_

_Pacey had peered down at her shadowy form and asked, "What do you mean?"_

" _My mom didn't have these options. Jen didn't either. Why me? They wouldn't look at this as some type of burden. They would feel grateful."_

_Pacey tightened his hold around her back and whispered in her hair, "Sometimes you can't question it and go with what's best for you."_

_After that, she fell silent and didn't bring the subject again. Pacey had begun to doubt his own wisdom and wished to go back in time to expand on his sentiment. He should have said to her that she should not think of this as a burden and do what her mother and Jen would have done._

_And he didn't know how to broach topic again. At that point in time, Joey still had the surgical biopsy to get through before a mastectomy became an actual option and not a necessity. They were between a rock and a hard place._

_This was why at first he'd felt relieved having Bessie here as moral support for both of them, but her presence soon became too much. Bessie took over meal duties, cleanup duties, and laundry duties, not to mention pushing Joey near the edge._

_The day that Bessie left she voiced her concerns to Pacey. He'd just taken his last sip of coffee and he'd stood from the dining table._

" _Did Joey tell you about our argument last night?" Bessie turned after putting his breakfast dish in the sink._

_Pacey raised his brow and replied, "Another one?" When he'd come home the night before, Joey was fast asleep. Pacey knew that he'd been spending too much time at work the last few days, but Scully had asked for his extra time in older to turn the less than stellar cuisine into five star delicious masterpieces. Pacey's first order of business was helping to hire a small but expert kitchen staff, which was easier said than done even in a city of millions. However, they were slowly but surely filling up positions. Pacey had also set to work with redoing the menu and testing out new and creative recipes. It had only been a short while, but Scully's restaurant was already attracting more patrons. This meant unfortunately that he wasn't home to referee. "Bess, I already told you to take a step back."_

" _Pacey, I'm worried about Joey," Bessie sighed._

" _So am I," he said almost defensively. "But we both know pushing her does no good. You should know that better than me, Bessie."_

" _So your advice is to just do nothing" Bessie had replied with a scowl fixed on her face, a scowl that Pacey was quite familiar with seeing on the other Potter sister._

" _I'm just waiting for Joey to be ready to talk," he sighed, "I'm just waiting."_

… _..._

Pacey shook himself back to the present. "Going somewhere?" he asked gruffly, still not fully awake.

Joey jumped, dropping her lipstick into the sink. "Pacey!" she reprimanded turning her head toward him with solemn eyes. "I really don't need to be spooked this morning. And you know perfectly well I'm going back to work today."

Pacey dropped his head and replied with a slight smile "Sorry, Jo." He reached out and caressed her arm.

Her body relaxed and her voice lost the edginess, "What are you doing up? You should be dead to the world after working almost all weekend."

Did _all weekend_ sound a bit accusatory? Pacey thought guiltily. "I thought I'd prepare you a quick breakfast before you head back into the wild jungle of the publishing world now that our personal housekeeper and cook has flown the coop."

Joey sighed as she turned back to the mirror and picked up the lipstick. "I know that Bessie meant well, but this apartment isn't meant for three people, especially when one is on Vicodin."

Pacey saw the segue and went for it. "How are you feeling being off the painkillers?" he asked watching her expression in the mirror.

She met his gaze in the glass and she shrugged, "I'm okay."

"How's the pain?" he asked referring to the incision.

Joey put the cap back on the lipstick and then turned giving a lopsided smile,"I'm fine, Pacey. Nothing a little Tylenol can't take care of. And as of today, the gauze will be no more. I'm heading to the doctor's after work."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Pacey asked, maneuvering around her to grab his toothbrush on the other side of the vanity.

Joey shook her head, "It's no big deal….It's not another test or surgery," she paused and then whispered, "At least not today."

Pacey froze in the middle of squeezing toothpaste out of the tube and narrowed his eyes at Joey's bowed head. He said gently, "Look at me, Jo."

Her uncertain eyes met his.

"Are you thinking about….about…"

"I'm thinking about thinking about it," Joey cut him off as she gestured with her hands, "I mean I have to, right? Maybe you could help me when I go talk to another specialist and do some research," she sighed.

Pacey put down the toothbrush and toothpaste and pulled Joey to him. "I'll be right there with you, Jo, all the way," He murmured against her shoulder and closed his eyes, feeling as if he just found a patch of blue sky in the mist of black clouds.

Joey pulled back and looked him in the eye, her somber gaze giving away to amusement. "You really do need to brush your teeth, Pace " she joked before her lips met his.

And so a new day began.

…...

Joey let the aroma of freshly roasted coffee and sweet pastries engulf her senses as she stepped into the Starbucks which was located a block from her office. Coming here had become part of her morning routine when she started at the publishing house. Normally, she'd be in a rush and she'd keep checking the time on her cell as the long line slowly dwindled down to the counter, .She'd then order a plain black coffee. However, Joey didn't feel any urgency today.. Although she still wanted to remain punctual and to make good impressions in order to climb up the corporate ladder, it wasn't a main priority at the moment. Quite honestly, Joey didn't know her main priority.

As she'd told Pacey earlier, she was ready to start thinking about her future options concerning her health even if the concept overwhelmed her, and sent chills up her spine when the word _mastectomy_ entered her mind.

Despite what Bessie probably thought, Joey wasn't living in denial. She did do a quick Google search the other day. And yes, removing most of your breast tissue did reduce your chances greatly, but there was still a slim chance of still getting breast cancer or didn't stop you from getting other cancer. Was it really worth it?

And she couldn't help but think of the pesky shallow side of it all. The self-conscious fifteen year old still lurked beneath the surface, always wondering how others saw her.. How would others see her after reconstructive surgery? How would Pacey see her? How would she see herself? She wasn't a millionaire celebrity who could afford a top notch cosmetic surgeon….

Just then, her cell rang. She was still the seventh person from the counter, enough time to take a quick call. Joey looked at the familiar number. Figures, she thought, sighing. She should have known that thinking of her fifteen year old ghost would mean that _he_ would make an appearance in one form or another.

"Dawson, hey," Joey answered, trying to keep her voice light.

"Hey Joey, I hope I'm not catching you at work or something."

She shook her head as she took a step forward. "I'm just making my morning Starbucks run. What are you doing calling so early isn't it like five-thirty in L.A?"

"I'm actually in Capeside, hoping that the fresh air will stir some ideas for next season."

"Home sweet home, " Joey replied dryly.

Dawson laughed before turning serious, "I….uh….just saw Bessie at the market. How are you feeling, Joey?"

Joey sighed, remembering his first call after he'd heard from his mother who had heard from Bessie about Joey's health predicament. At first, Dawson had been hurt that he seemed to be the last one to know. However, he'd offered to come to New York to be moral support for both Joey and Pacey even if it meant rearranging some meetings, including another meeting with Spielberg about a possible project with a few A list stars. In the end, Joey had said that his offer was enough and she didn't want everyone turning their life upside down for one little surgical biopsy.

"I'm doing better," Joey said honestly as she moved another step closer to placing her order.

"Really?"

"Truly, Dawson….enough about me onto you. What's up?"

"Well," he replied, "that is why I'm calling actually. I need you to be my muse again, Joey. You and Pacey to be more precise."

A surge of embarrassing and just, plain bad teenage memories flashed through her mind. "We are through with making horror slash love stories with you, Dawson, and I'm sure Pacey agrees."

A step closer to caffeine heaven.

Dawson chuckled, "No, no, no, Joey, I'm going to focus on the Petey and Sam relationship in season two and I want it to be as authentic as possible. I want to know about key moments in the Pacey-Joey romance."

Joey narrowed her brows and replied dryly, "You were there, Dawson, for every melodramatic second of it."

"I'm not talking about the eternal triangle, Joey. I want to know how you two fell in love. Will you help me?"

Joey made it to the counter with her cell still pressed to her ear. She knew that there were cons to telling Dawson intimate details of her relationship with Pacey, but maybe it was the comforting smells around her that enveloped her like a warm embrace. Maybe it was the opportunity to relive some of her happiest moments of days gone by. Whatever it was, she said, "Yes, I will."

"What can I get you today?" a barista asked from behind the counter.

"I think I'll try a caffè latte today."

And maybe some decisions were easier to make than others.

…...

It was five- thirty in the early evening when Joey stepped out of the elevator onto the floor of her apartment. All she needed was a hot bath and a cozy bed and Pacey, Joey thought. She was glad that he would be home. Maybe they could order take out and have a relaxing evening. She wanted to just feel his arms wrapped around her and just be alive.

She had left work an hour early for her appointment with Dr. Gardner. The gauze was now gone and the doctor said that she was healing nicely. The doctor also reminded Joey that there was no hurry to make any decisions about the future. For that, Joey was grateful.

Joey didn't want to shrivel up and hide from the future. She just wanted to do everything at her own pace.

She opened the door and walked inside. Her head was bowed as she flipped through the mail in her hand. Junk, junk, junk, bill, junk.

"You know, you're ruining the moment."

"Wh-"she lifted her head and froze.

Pacey stood a few feet away in a black suit and tie. His snowy, white dress shirt brought out the deep blue of his eyes in such a way that made the sea pale in comparison. A single red rose was held up in his hand.

He smiled and said, "You can close your mouth now, Jo."

Joey moved closer to him and gave a half-smile, "You have to forgive me, Pace. I feel like I just entered one of those staged scenes from that God-awful _Bachelor_ show." She turned her head this way and that way as if looking for cameras.

Pacey chuckled and shook his head, "Nah, I've never been that desperate and I'm most definitely not looking for my five seconds of fame."

She rolled her eyes with a smile and that sobered, "What is this, then?"

"Well, remember my first night in the city. You said that you wouldn't mind grand romantic moments."

She nodded, thinking back to her exact words. _What if I do like grand romantic moments for us, to reflect back on at a later date?_ It was such a throwaway statement made in jest. Now it held a bittersweet sentiment. Her heart ached.

"I'm taking you out for a romantic evening to make up for lost time, " Pacey continued looking her straight in the eyes, holding out the rose. "I haven't exactly been an attentive boyfriend lately when you needed me the most."

Joey shook her head as she took the flower, "You had to work. Like I said, Pacey, we both need to keep living our lives. I don't hold that against you." She really didn't want him to feel guilty despite the fact that she'd wished that he was here more lately. However, she'd kept reminding herself that he uplifted his whole life to New York to be with her. That mattered more than anything else.

He dropped his head with a small smile and replied, "Well, you should, but that is a conversation for another time. We have reservations."

"Where are we going?" She asked, taking in the scent of the rose.

Pacey opened his mouth as if to refute, but paused and said, "Wait, you aren't going to fight me on this? "

Joey shook her head as she contemplated his question. No, she wasn't going to fight him about going out. How could she? She wanted grand romantic moments to think back on. She wanted as many as possible.

She only wished that everything in life was as simple as this.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Joey asked sardonically, blocking out those pesky thoughts.

"Well," Pacey replied feigning seriousness , "I had this big argument planned analyzing the pros and cons of going out," he gestured with his hands.

She intently looked into his amused gaze and replied, "You did, did ya?"

He nodded staring down at her, "With PowerPoints and everything. You know-"

Joey leaned up and kissed him and then pulled back, "Are you done?"

"Not quite yet," he whispered, his lips meeting hers again.

When they finally pulled apart, Joey felt lighter and looser than she had in days. She asked, "So where is it that we're going? "

"It's a surprise," Pacey held out his palm. "Shall we?"

Joey smiled, laying her hand in his.

While some of their happiest moments were in the past, Joey thought, some of their best moments were out there waiting, if only...

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

_ **Chapter Seven** _

Pacey glanced out the window after the waiter removed their appetizer dishes. The city skyline sparkled brightly as it reflected off the East River as twilight gave way to night. The lights from the Brooklyn Bridge hovered above the River Café finishing off the picturesque setting.

When Drue Valentine of all people suggested this spot as a perfect place to wine and dine a hot date, Pacey had had his doubts. It was Drue after all.

However, Pacey was a rather good connoisseur himself and everything he'd heard about the restaurant– from the canvas canopy ceiling to waterfront dining to the pricy menu- was true. Sure, it was slightly more upscale than the Icehouse and Scully's restaurant. But it was all worth it, he thought, directing his warm gaze to the brunette before him and seeing a relaxed yet curious smile curving her lips.

"Why are you giving me that look?" Pacey asked, wagging a finger in her direction.

Joey's forehead wrinkled, "What look?"

"The look that says you really want to say something, but are holding your tongue, which I know kills you beyond measure."

Joey rolled her eyes, "Oh really? And what am I just dying to say?"

Well," Pacey replied, gesturing with hands, "Something like 'Thank you, Pacey, this is exactly what I needed.' "

Joey laughed, "Pace, why are you still acting as if you had to lasso me and drag me out of the apartment? Although I must thank you for giving me five seconds to change into something more appropriate for this fine dining experience."

Pacey grinned, his eyes appreciating the top of her cream colored spaghetti strap dress in the soft glow of the small lamp on their table. His gaze then met hers again, "You do look beautiful, Jo."

Her lashes lowered almost shyly, reminding him of the sixteen year old girl he'd danced with at junior prom, the girl who lowered her lashes after he'd described her as _simple, elegant, beautiful_ , the girl who then melted into him as they became lost in the dance, in each other.

Her eyes lifted back up and met his again as she said softly, "I was giving you that look because you amaze me, Pace." She smiled. "Just when I saw my night going one way, you do something like this….even if it's just an overly expensive meal with a breathtaking view.

Pacey gave a small smile.

"And I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is exactly what I needed," Joey laughed.

Pacey broke out in a full grin before saying simply, "I'm glad."

As the evening went on, they enjoyed some Maine lobster while keeping their conversation light. Joey told him about Dawson's call and what their friend wanted her to do. Pacey initially thought was that it was an odd request. If the tables were turned, Pacey knew that it would be awkward to hear intimate details of Joey's relationship with Dawson or any guy for that matter.

Wait, what was he thinking? He'd already been there, Pacey thought.. He may have put on an award-winning performance as the supportive ex-boyfriend, but it killed him to see Joey move on after their breakup. Every time Pacey saw her with another guy or even spoke of another guy jealously reared its ugly head.

Especially with Dawson.

It had been a punch in the gut watching Joey try again with Dawson. Pacey didn't have a clue how he'd kept his cool. But it was a hell of his own making, so he'd learn to live in it.

"I know what you're thinking, Pacey, "Joey replied, cutting into his reverie. "But I think we're all passed the angst of our youth, even Dawson. He's looking at the past in a strictly professional light."

"Well," Pacey said, his lips curving up slightly, "I give the guy credit, then." His voice took on a humorous note as he asked, "But do you really want to take a walk down our memory lane?" he feigned a shudder, "All that fighting."

"And making up," Joey added, her doe-like eyes sharing him down.

"Can't forget that, "Pacey said huskily, then cleared his throat. "Do you…uh…really think Dawson needs to know _those_ details, though, Jo?"

Joey rolled her eyes and replied dryly, "Well, I wasn't planning on getting _that_ explicit, Pacey." She then shrugged, turning serious, "I don't know….I just think it will be nice right now to remember those times. Back then, we had our angst while becoming closer and getting together. And then we had our angst as a couple. But everything seems simpler now looking back and I need that now…I don't know if I'm making any sense," she laughed.

Pacey nodded and smiled, "You are." And it was true, he thought. Pacey just hoped Joey realized that they could have simple times right now in the present and the future. Those times weren't over yet, not by a long shot. She just needed to remember that.

…

As they made their way out of the entryway of the café, Joey felt contented and happy as she took in the glittering lights adorning the surrounding trees as a gentle spring breeze swept across her face. Even with the Brooklyn Bridge overhead and immense view of Manhattan on the other side of the river, there was something about this niche of the city that reminded her of the cape, of home.

"Hey," Joey tugged Pacey's hand, pointing a finger toward the old-fashioned fireboat house next door. "I have a taste for a double scoop chocolate cone. How about you?"

His gaze turned toward the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory and then assessed her smiling face. "You're a bottomless pit tonight, woman. You just had a three course lobster dinner, followed by a hot soufflé."

She arched a brow, "But who can say no to ice cream?"

Pacey grinned boyishly, "Good point."

Once they got two double scoop cones, they sat down on to nearby by bench facing the East River. The two of them were peacefully silent for a little while, taking in the sights and sounds of the city.

Pacey finally broke in, "You know what this reminds me of?"

Joey turned toward him, "Home?"

Pacey gave a little smile, "In a way, I guess, but I was thinking more along the lines of us, you and me."

Her lips curved up slightly as a faint memory flashed in her mind, "You mean when your six year old self snatched my cone at the annual carnival and then licked it once with an evil gleam only to hand it back saying my girl cooties made it taste bad."

Pacey chuckled at that but replied, "No, actually I was thinking of our time at sea going from port to port, small town to small town, taking in everything and just being together just like now."

"Hmmm, " Joey whispered, "the good times." She remembered those times and held them close to her heart. Accompanying Pacey on his sailing trip to the Florida Keys was one spur of the moment decision that Joey did not, could not regret. How could she regret falling asleep under the stars, visiting different small towns along the east coast, just being happy and in love? Even taking odd jobs as dock hands and dishwashers was liberating, Joey thought. In a sense, they'd pretended to be different people at each port, being free and not thinking too far into the future.

Joey wished that they could go back.

"The best," Pacey murmured as his gaze pulled her closer while his hand caressed her cheek.

She closed her eyes as she felt his lips descending upon hers. The kiss was light at first, then slowly deepened, warming her from the inside out.

Pacey pulled back and Joey opened her eyes. She looked into his blue gaze darkened with desire. His voice raspy as he said, "Let's go home."

Joey simply nodded.

…..

That night in Pacey's arms Joey pretended that they were back on the Atlantic. Nothing existed but the two of them. Nothing mattered but the two of them. There was no pain, no scars, no worries of tomorrow. With each kiss and each caress, she felt desired and whole. Even as his hand gently touched the small bandage covering the side of her breast, she felt no insecurity. And while his lips traveled down her body, she felt nothing but want.

She had everything she needed. The moment was everything she needed, she thought as he pushed her over the edge, falling into bliss.

…..

The following afternoon at work, Pacey whistled as he placed a Philly cheese steak on a plate, his mind still consumed with thoughts of last night and Joey.

"I don't think I've seen you this happy before," Donna smiled as she took the order from him.

"I'm just happy we're so busy today," he told the new waitress of two weeks.

Donna gave him an odd but amused look before she left the kitchen.

Well, it was partly true.

Scully's restaurant had a fairly decent crowd for lunch, which kept Pacey and the new prep cooks busy in the kitchen. Every so often Scully McAvoy came in with exuberant energy whenever another large group of patrons entered the eatery. Pacey couldn't help but liken Scully to Carroll O'Conner's character in the way too sappy romantic flick, _Return to Me,_ Irish accent and all, which had gotten him a laugh out of Joey when he had told her about his new boss.

And a laugh from Joey always made him feel good.

But that was beside the point, Pacey reminded himself, pushing thoughts of Joey to the back of his mind. The point was that for a guy who had very little culinary talent, Scully put his heart and soul into making this venture work. When Pacey had first met the man, he'd thought that Scully was a bit odd to say the least. Anyone who would hire a head chef after a two second introduction had to have one or two screws loose. However, Pacey had learned over the last month or so what made Scully tick.

His passion for this place came from his love for his late wife.

_One evening during closing, Scully had told him, "Maureen, God rest her soul, loved to cook and I wanted to keep her happy. She loved this place and bossing me around. But we were partners in business and in life." He'd shrugged, "She may not be here now, but I still want to keep her happy."_

Pacey could relate. Thoughts of the night before rushed to the forefront of his mind yet again, making him smile as he handed another order to another waitress. The night wasn't just about sex, Pacey thought, or even a romantic dinner out. He felt as if they got back to the place that they were at when they'd first got back together, before worries about tests, biopsies, and results started to plague their lives.

Pacey knew that Joey's troubles were not over, but he thought that she was at a good place, that they were at a good place.

Drue walked through the swinging doors and eyed Pacey for a moment before saying, "Someone got lucky last night."

Pacey's grin faded and he was about to give a dry retort when-

"Who got lucky last night?" Scully popped into the kitchen at that very moment, looking back and forth between the two men. Rudy, one of the prep cooks, snickered beside Pacey.

Furrowing his brows briefly at Drue, Pacey chuckled uncomfortably before replying,, "It's….It's nothing, sir. I just took my girlfriend out on the town."

"Ah," Scully smiled, "that's good, that's good. So, your girl is feeling better, huh?"

Pacey's lips curved up "Yeah, I think so. Yeah." Pacey had not given his boss the full story about Joey, but he'd given him enough to understand that he had needed the day off for her biopsy and that the results were good.

Scully nodded before heading back out, "You be sure to bring her by sometime." He called back.

Drue chuckled after the man left and said, "Sorry about that."

"Shouldn't you be tending to the bar?" Pacey asked. He really needed new acquaintances in the city, he thought. Pacey had confided in Drue more and more over the last few weeks. They'd developed a good co-worker rapport and maybe even a friendship Drue had appeared to have grown into a genuine human-being and Pacey had needed a good ear. Now, however Pacey was rethinking his judgment.

Ignoring the question, Drue replied, "You owe me for the restaurant recommendation. Have you mentioned to Joey about you guys having dinner with Kathy and me one evening?" he asked, referring to his girlfriend of two months and counting.

Pacey closed his eyes, trying to find a good excuse, but went with the truth, "Drue, I don't know if it is the right time to ask Joey." Drue had asked him this before, but Pacey hadn't thought that he was serious.

Drue nodded, "I get it." He laughed, "I understand I'm not exactly Joey's favorite classmate."

Pacey chuckled, "That's putting it mildly."

"Look, "Drue said, "Tell Joey, I want a fresh start. I have to show Kathy that I do have long-term friends. She met my mother last night and let's just say… that well, she now knows I'm from a dysfunctional family."

"Drue," Pacey replied, "Everybody has a bit of dysfunction in their family, man."

"Would you be saying that if we were talking about your family?"

Drue had him there. "Okay," Pacey relented, "I'll ask Joey."

But he already knew Joey's response.

….

"Pacey, are you insane?" Joey asked as she closed the refrigerator and tossed him a water bottle while holding one for herself. It had been a long, but productive day at work. Joey had been looking forward to another evening with Pacey, although she didn't think she could keep them in an isolated bubble for long.

The sex was great last night, the whole evening was great, but it was a night of pretend, of blocking out reality. A familiar feeling Joey knew quite well.

How long could she put off reality this time?

Joey turned off that train of thoughts and dealt with the trivial of the here and now. "You seriously want us to have a dinner date with Drue Valentine?" she asked taking a gulp of cold water before turning around to retrieve two plates from the cupboard.

"Well," Pacey offered, lowering the heat on the stove, "You do want to take a stroll down memory lane."

Joey rolled her eyes as she carried the plates toward him and placed them on the counter, "Not with Drue, Pacey. Do you remember our last double- date nightmare with him, Pace? You ended up being a shoulder to cry on for his date and a week later she offered you sex as a thank you."

"Okay," Pacey replied as he drained the water from the pasta, "that's not exactly how it went." He turned his warm gaze on her as his voice softened, "And we both know how that night at the ski lodge ended."

The corner of her mouth tugged up, "That's beside the point."

Pacey stared her down, giving her _that look._

"My," Joey started to get lost in his gaze, then she blinked and whispered, "My point is-"

"Yeah?" Pacey murmured, bowing his head toward hers, his mouth a breath away from hers...

The home phone rang.

Pacey caught her in a quick hard kiss. "Muah," he grinned, backing away from Joey.

Another ring.

Joey smiled as she turned around and checked the caller ID, picking up the wireless phone off the counter, "It's your dad." She handed it to Pacey.

Back to reality.

Pacey sighed. Even though there had been very little drama with the Icehouse lately, Joey knew that Pacey dreaded each call from his father. According to John Witter's younger son, the former sheriff wouldn't be happy unless he had something to complain about.

While Pacey walked into the living room with the phone to his ear, Joey poured some marinara sauce over the pasta.

"Hey Pop," Pacey said and a few beats later, he replied, "What? Calm down, Pop…Well, is the Icehouse still standing?"

Joey froze and turned toward Pacey. His hand went to his forehead. A familiar pose, Joey realized, almost every time he received a call from Sheriff Witter.

"What do you mean, Pop?" Pacey asked. "I'm not taking sides. I don't know the full story. Yeah, yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can," he sighed ending the call.

"What is it?" Joey narrowed her brows as she walked toward him.

Pacey turned toward her and in a wearisome voice, he said, "It would appear that my father just had your father arrested for theft?"

 


	8. Chapter 8

**_ Chapter Eight _ **

The next morning, Pacey paced back and forth across the shaggy carpet of the Witters' living room, trying to remain calm as he listened to his father. By the time Joey and he made it to Capeside, the charges against Mike Potter were dropped. Pacey had Doug to thank for quick damage control. Apparently, John Witter had gone behind his elder son and present sheriff's back and used his former authoritative position to persuade his officer pals to help him out.

When John stopped speaking, Pacey turned to him and gave a humorless chuckle, "Let me get this straight….You discovered that Mike did not make one bank deposit in your designated timeframe and you automatically jumped to the conclusion that he ran off with the money."

"Don't use that patronizing tone with me, Pace," John replied gruffly, standing up from the sofa, "What was I supposed to assume? He didn't come to work the next morning and he didn't answer my calls. I checked with the bank to make sure that there wasn't a glitch in their website. It wasn't chump change. It was a large sum, Pacey."

"Mike didn't answer your calls because his cell died while he was sitting in the ER all night with Bessie. Alexander had gotten sick at summer camp with an allergic reaction. Did it ever occur to you to call the B&B or Bodie or me for that matter?"

The former shieriff put his head down as if defeated, but he responded, "Potter should've still called, or at the very least told the officer that he had the deposit. There would've been no arrest if he had it with him. "

Unbelievable, Pacey thought. After all these years, his father still couldn't simply admit when he made a mistake. Sure, he'd eventually apologize months or years later, but apologies did not come easy for his old man. He was a man made of steel pride, "It was at the B&B and according to Doug, as Mike explained that when he was pulled over, but your law enforcement buddy took him in anyway."

"So you're taking his side?"

Pacey shook his head, but kept his voice even, "Pop, there is no sides in this particular situation. There is only the truth. You've been a blood hound ever since I hired the both of you, looking for any sign of suspicion. You never gave him a chance," Pacey said, flapping his hands. "I don't know…I don't know. Maybe I was wrong to think having both of you as managers could actually work and benefit the Icehouse."

John narrowed his brows, "So that's it, huh? You're firing me, Pace? You're firing your own father?"

How was it that his old man could make him feel like the villain? Pacey wondered as he rubbed his temples. "I can't keep getting calls whenever you _think_ Mike's up to no good, Pop. I can't keep rushing back here for every fictitious crisis. Do you have any idea what's been happening these last couple months with me, what's been happening with Joey?"

"Only from what Dougie tells me," his father replied. "Every time I call you, Pacey, you seem exasperated with me before I even say a word. Sure, maybe I've been a bit hardheaded when it comes to Mike Potter, but I've only been trying to look out for you. For years, I've been trying to make up for being a shitty father to you growing up. But no matter how many times I say I'm proud of you. No matter how much money I've dished out for the restaurant, you keep me at arm's length."

Only John Witter could make a false charge of theft into how Pacey was a lousy son. Pacey sighed. Despite what the former sheriff thought, however,, Pacey had been more than grateful for his father's financial investment in the Icehouse. Pacey had finally thought that they were slowly moving beyond his less than stellar upbringing. The insults and the putdowns had cut deep into his self-worth, but maybe his old man was right. Maybe Pacey couldn't let go of the past so easily Maybe their relationship was a lost cause. Pacey nodded, "Maybe you're right. Maybe we're both at fault here, but as of right now, I don't see an easy fix."

Pacey dropped his head as he walked passed his father and out the door.

….

"It's not too late, you know," Joey said later that afternoon, placing her hand over Pacey's as they sat on the porch swing overlooking Doug and Jack's front yard that led straight to the beach. On any other day, Pacey would take in this view and salty scented breeze and feel a fierce need to be one with the sea, but today was no such day. "You can hire your dad back, Pacey " Joey continued. "My dad isn't even that upset about the whole thing,"

Pacey turned his head toward her and arched an eyebrow.

"Okay," Joey nodded and sighed, "He was pissed actually, but he said that he was expecting something like this eventually. It comes with the territory when an ex-con works with a retired sheriff. When you put a dog and cat in a locked cage, nine times out of ten there will be some type of melodrama if not bloodshed."

Pacey gave a weary chuckle, "That bad analogy is supposed to help? How?"

"I'm just trying to saying that it was a misunderstanding between two very stubborn men," Joey smiled slightly, " but it could've been worse."

The screen door squeaked as Doug walked out holding a wriggling Amy on his hip, "Joey's right, ya know, little brother. You had to expect some type of dramatics to befall when you hired the both of them."

"I can't believe you of all people are making light of Pop's actions," Pacey replied gesturing with his hands. "The man used his influence at the department, Dougie, and disregarded your authority."

"Bubba!" Amy screamed.

"Exactly, Amy!" Pacey said triumphantly. "See, she gets it!"

Joey laughed, "I don't think Amy's using expletives just yet, Pacey."

Doug rolled his eyes as he guided Amy's bottle to her mouth, "All I'm saying is that there isn't a rulebook on how to be a good father, Pace. And despite his misguided suspicions of Mike, Pop only had your best interest at heart, Pace."

"Okay," Pacey held up his hand, "enough of this good-natured advice. I'm gonna go down to the Icehouse." He turned back to Joey and asked, " Do you want to come?"

Joey shook her head, "I want to spend time with Amy."

Pacey smiled, "Will you be okay here with my brother's newly found parenting words of wisdom?"

Joey smirked and patted his thigh, "I think I'll manage, Pace."

Pacey grinned back and gave her a quick kiss before getting up.

"Hey," Doug retorted, "I give good advice."

"Yeah," Pacey countered over his shoulder as he stepped off the porch, "you're a regular Dr. Phil."

Doug turned to Joey, "What do you see in him?"

"I guess the same thing Jack sees in you," she replied keeping a straight face. "The Witter charm is too darn irresistible."

That earned her a skeptical look to which Joey laughed.

…

A little while later after Doug went to the police department, Joey helped Evelyn Ryan fold laundry while Amy happily sat on her Minnie Mouse play mat and chewed on her freezable teething ring. It had become a daily routine for Grams to come over to the beach house to dote on her great-granddaughter while Jack was at school and Doug was on duty. Even though Amy had a fulltime babysitter other than Grams, Evelyn still loved to be an active presence in the little girl's life.

Evelyn had moved back to Capeside and moved into La Brea Park, the retirement community that Joey remembered Jen remarking, gave retirement a bad name, which was why Jack probably kept trying to persuade Evelyn to move into the beach house. However, according to Jack, Evelyn was adamant about not being an intrusion on Doug and Jack. Nevertheless, Joey knew, Jack was worried about her. The woman may have been in remission, but she was both physically and emotionally drained, especially after Jen's death.

Now as Joey watched Evelyn smile down at the blond curly-haired girl with familiar bright, blue eyes, she wondered what she would do in the older woman's shoes. Would she be as resilient? Probably not, Joey thought as she folded a bath towel and put it aside.

"Momma," Amy said in her sweet, tiny voice, pointing a small finger toward a framed picture of Jen sitting on the end table by the couch.

"Yes, that's your mommy, sweetheart," Evelyn smiled as she bent down from the sofa and brought Amy onto her lap. The great-grandmother then turned to Joey and explained, "We've been making sure Jennifer remains a constant presence in her young life, any way we can."

Joey smiled slightly as a wave of sadness washed over her, a familiar sadness for a child who lost her mother too soon. Joey also ached for a grandmother who lost her granddaughter who was more like a daughter.

Joey had never been particularly close to Evelyn Ryan, but now they shared in the loss of Jen. As a child, Joey had thought of the woman as some type of witch who despised all children. Then, Joey had seen her as a religious fanatic who shunned the Potter family for their "sinful" lifestyle. It wasn't until Jen came into town that Joey started seeing Evelyn as a kind and spirited woman. While Evelyn had helped Jen become tamer, Joey thought, Jen had helped her become more opened minded and easygoing. Evelyn even seemed to become more energetic up until her breast cancer diagnosis.

The thought made Joey tense.

As she brushed a curl off of Amy's forehead, Joey asked gently, "How are you doing, Evelyn?"

The other woman gave a small smile, "After all these years, Dear, don't you think it's time for you to call me Grams like everyone else?"

Joey's lips curved slightly and she nodded.

"And to answer your question," Grams continued, "I have good days and bad days, but this little one here," she tightened her arms around Amy, earning a giggle, "keeps me on my toes." The older woman's wise eyes then probed Joey's face, " How about you, Dear? Bessie told me about what you've been going through lately."

"Of course, she has," Joey replied dryly.

"You shouldn't be upset with her, child," Grams said, "Bessie's just concerned for you."

"I know," Joey sighed and nodded, brushing her hair behind her ear, "I know…It's just that I know Bessie's position on what I should do, but I'm still not sure on what's right for me."

"It's a difficult decision, " Grams supplied and then sighed. "I once believed that you shouldn't question the Lord's plan, that your faith will get you through anything. That notion, however, is hard to hang onto as you go through chemo and wonder about your next test results and then you see the worry on the faces of your loved ones."

Joey hesitated, "So…so if you had the chance to prevent it, you would?"

"In a heartbeat," Grams replied firmly but quickly added, "But I'm not you, Josephine."

Joey looked down, trying to contemplate everything, as a little body crawled onto her lap. Amy grinned up at her and Joey grinned back. Her internal debate vanished for the moment as she hugged the little girl.

"Looks like Amy missed her Aunt Joey," Jack's laughing voice entered the room.

Joey smiled at him, "Hey Jack." She stood from the sofa still hanging onto Amy who rested her head on Joey's shoulder.

"Where's Pacey?" Jack asked.

"At the Icehouse," Joey replied, "trying to put out any fires started by our fathers, figuratively speaking of course."

"I don't think too much damage was done, " Jack smiled. "Doug says the restaurant has turned a good profit the last couple months despite the tension brewing between them."

"If you ask me, the former sheriff Witter needs to get over himself," Grams put in as she stood from the sofa, "and stop acting like a grumpy old man."

"Grams," Jack chuckled, "speaking of grumpy old men, do you have another hot date with Mr. Niles tonight."

"Who's Mr. Niles? Joey asked, looking back and forth between Jack and Grams.

"Grams' new boyfriend."

"Really?" Joey smiled.

Grams gave Jack a look of reproof, "George's just a neighbor friend over at the retirement community. We play poker together sometimes and he's busy tonight."

"Great," Jack grinned, "you can stay for dinner. Joey, I hope you and Pacey can too. Doug and I are throwing a few steaks on the grill."

"Ah, maybe," Joey shrugged. "I promised Bessie I'd run a few errands and I don't know when Pacey'll be back."

Joey handed over a sleepy Amy to Jack and said her goodbyes. She loved being a part of familiar lighthearted conversion, but she needed a little time alone, to think.

…

Pacey looked around the interior dining room of the Icehouse. There were only a few individuals still leisurely eating their lunch. Out on the deck, however, a decent sized crowd still lingered. Even with "The Icy Management Scandal" being headline news for _The Capeside Press,_ Pacey had been surprised that it didn't affect business too much, although Mike did have a few snide remarks thrown his way.

"Mike," Pacey called him over to the bar as he sat down on a stool.

Mike walked over after he said goodbye to Mr. Clayton and his family, who were regular patrons during tourist season. "Looks like everyone enjoyed the lobster roll special today," Mike commented as he took a seat next to Pacey.

"They also enjoy a front row seat to a scandal," Pacey replied dryly.

"That too," the other man sighed and nodded.

"Listen, Mike," Pacey began, "I just want to apologize again for…"

"Pacey," Mike cut him off, holding up a hand, "I already told you that there's no need for apologies. I may not have stolen money, but I'm not an innocent victim. I egged John on and let my temper get the best of me on occasion."

"Still," Pacey replied, "You're probably questioning having any association to the Witter clan. I mean, I know that I'm not the guy that you envisioned your daughter ending up with," Pacey replied, remembering Mike's praise of Dawson all those Christmas dinners ago, "But I wouldn't blame you if you were dead set against me being with Joey now."

Mike arched a brow, "What? That's farthest thing from the truth, son." He put a hand on Pacey's shoulder. "I couldn't have envisioned a better man for Joey. I've been very grateful she has had you by her side these last couple months."

Pacey gave a small smile but then it retreated and he sighed, "I wish I could do more for her, ya know, give her all the answers she needs. I want her to know I'm with her for the long-haul no matter what she decides."

"Doesn't Joey know that?"

"I think she does," Pacey replied, gesturing with his hands, "But she keeps talking about wanting to remember the past when things were simpler. I...I think Joey's afraid to think about the future. because there aren't any guarantees," he trailed off as an idea popped in his head, then asked Mike, "You really approve of me in Joey's life….on a permanent basis?

Mike grinned as if he knew Pacey's hidden meaning and replied, "Yes, of course ."

"You better approve, Potter," came a familiar surly voice.

Pacey and Mike turned toward John Witter who wore his same old bland expression. "What are you doing here?" Pacey asked.

"I want my job back and I came to grovel if need be," John said a bit sourly. He turned toward Mike, "I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Ya know, I have trouble believing people can change, maybe because I've got trouble changing myself, but I'm willing to work on it.

Mike gave a nod of acceptance.

John then directed his attention to Pacey. "You're a good son, Pace. And I'm not gonna hold the fact that you fired me against you for too long," his lips twitched at the corners.

Pacey stood and stepped toward his father. He was tired of holding a grudge for past mistakes. "You're on probation, Pop," he said in a serious tone.

"That's fair, I guess," John offered.

Pacey then smiled, "I gotta say, despite your love for the dramatics you two are actually a great team….I have a feeling this is a start of a beautiful friendship…"

John and Mike looked at him, then each other, and then they walked in opposite directions getting back to business.

Pacey chuckled even as his mind went back to how he could make a permanent guarantee for the future to Joey.

…

After Joey stopped at the market, having picked up Alexander's favorite foods consisting of Chips Ahoy, Cheese Doritos, and Mountain Dew (because every kid needs to indulge in junk food for at least a week after spending the night in the ER), she walked the same old streets of Downtown Capeside trying to clear her head. One would think after her talk with Grams things would become clearer, Joey thought. However, she'd always been the exception to the rule.

Joey walked a few feet with her head slightly bent down, focusing only on the cracks in the sidewalk, and then she froze. Her head lifted.

The wall.

" _You bought me a wall?" she'd asked Pacey with wide eyes, a little more than surprised._

" _Not bought, rented," Pacey had clarified. "And this thing didn't come cheap, either. It cost me a hundred bucks."_

_"You bought me a wall?"_

" _You said that already," Pacey had replied. "Look, it's a limited time offer, so you should get cracking."_

_Pacey," she'd smiled, trying to figure why he would do something so outrageous for her, "did you fail to notice the size of this thing?"_

" _I just thought your next endeavor should be bigger and better than your last one. It's important you keep on growing both as a person and as an artist. I also brought you this," he'd held up a can of paint, " Now I know it's not gonna cover the whole thing. But as the saying goes, 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'"_

…

The long ago memory was so acute that Joey could almost feel the cold wind blow across her cheeks even as a touching warmth wrapped around her heart. Joey remembered how she'd stared at the boy she'd known almost her whole life and seeing him in a completely new light. She hadn't known it then, but that moment would point her down an unexpected yet thrilling path in her life, a path she was still traveling despite a couple roadblocks along the way.

Maybe, she thought, if she stared at the wall long enough, the answer to her new dilemma would come to her…

A hand touched her shoulder, making her jump.

Joey turned around, "Dawson!"

He gave an uncertain smile, "Sorry, didn't you hear me?"

"I was lost in thought."

Dawson broke out in a genuine smile, "Some things never change."

"Yeah," she smiled slightly and then she hugged him, "It's good to see you, Dawson".

"You too," he grinned as he stepped back, "When did you come back into town?"

"Early this morning," Joey replied, "to deal with the drama of Pacey's father arresting my father. You know, a type of tragedy Shakespeare would've killed to pen," she remarked dryly.

"Yeah," Dawson 's brows narrowed, "I was wondering about that. I was actually about to call you. How's your dad?"

"He's doing okay," Joey replied, tucking her windblown her behind her ears, "Pacey fired his dad, though."

"Wow! How's Pacey doing?"

"He's struggling with his decision despite what he says to the contrary"

"There seems to be a lot of that going on." Dawson said, looking at the wall and back at her. "What were you thinking about when I interrupted , Joey."

Since when did Dawson become so intuitive? Joey shrugged, "Well, you know me. My mind never stops, " She paused, thinking quickly. "How are your ideas for next season coming along, Dawson?" she went with a topic he couldn't resist.

Dawson looked unsure for a second but went with the change of subject, " Yeah, actually, I could use your help with that, Jo. I'm glad I bumped into you. I think that I made a mistake introducing the triangle too soon. Sam and Petey hate each other, so why would she be so conflicted?"

"Well, Dawson, you did develop an unspeakable attraction between them," Joey pointed out. "You did have Petey and Sam kiss in the season finale, making her run off to Colby."

"I know," he sighed, "but that's just hormonal. I don't know. I've got their antagonistic banter down pat, you know, having an eyewitness account of it since the first grade and all." he chuckled, "but I'm having trouble with the grand moment when everything changes between them. When does their hate turn into love?"

Why had she agreed on giving him advice? Joey thought. She couldn't very well tell Dawson that he was wrong about his two best friends. The truth was that Joey didn't really despise Pacey growing up and vice verses. They'd only fought for Dawson's attention, the boy who had the ideal life or so they thought, and somewhere along the way Pacey and Joey forgot where their hostility started.

Joey sighed and said, "There wasn't a grand moment where everything changed, Dawson. When it came to serious matters, Pacey and I actually opened up to each other and found that we actually had things in common like our dysfunctional families, but I guess we didn't realize it, that despite our protests to the contrary, we were genuine friends," Joey smiled. "Then, came the little moments in Junior year: ditching class; restoring True Love; dance lessons; Pacey helping with the B&B," Joey stopped when she saw a glint of past hurt in her friend's eyes. She sighed, "This is awkward."

"No," Dawson shook his head, "no, Joey. I just realized that I was going about this all wrong." He took a deep breath, then turned around, "But if there aren't grand moments, Joey, then what does this wall represent?"

Joey's lips curved up slightly, "Well, Dawson, I said that there wasn't a grand moment where everything changed between us like a switching on a light" she sighed, "But when Pacey brought me this wall, it was the moment that I first loved him. I may not have realized it then, but I know now. This wall challenged me…Well, Pacey challenged me to take a risk with my heart, but the wall represents the challenge ."

"What does the wall mean now?" Dawson asked, "Why were you lost in thought?"

"Trying to decide if I should take a new step of a different kind," Joey turned and stared at the bricks as she heard Grams whisper, _in a heartbeat._

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

**_Chapter Nine_ **

Once again that night, Joey decided to set aside any decision-making for a later date. There was nothing like procrastinating and she'd gotten quite good at it. Nevertheless, Joey only wanted to enjoy the here and now of just being home in Capeside. Nothing wrong with that, she thought. Everyone sat around Doug and Jack's deck after a filling steak dinner. A quick summer storm brought about a cool ocean breeze, a breeze that made one think of newness and possibilities as the last rays of the sun disappeared.

"Well, looks like this little one is ready for bed," Grams stood from the table holding onto sleepy, heavy-lidded Amy.

Everybody gave the little girl a kiss goodnight and she whimpered as her grandmother carried her off to bed, hating to be departing from the party too soon. "That darlin's getting to be more and more like her mother every day," Pacey chuckled.

"She is," Jack smiled softly, then he laughed, "She's a cross between an angel and a holy terror running our lives twenty-four seven."

"But we wouldn't have it any other way, "Doug grinned reaching out next to him to rub Jack's shoulder. "We're actually thinking of getting a bigger house, so she has more room to run around, besides the beach, that is."

"Really?" Joey replied looking from Doug to Jack.

"You know," Jack shrugged, "we're just thinking about the future. You never can be too prepared, especially when you've got a kid."

"Who would've thought, "Pacey said, "that one day my uptight big bro, who was so worried about using coasters when he had rare company, would be raising a little human being. Wonders never cease."

"What about you, little brother?" Doug threw back.

"What about me?"

Joey sat quietly enjoying the interplay between the two brothers. They reminded her of her and Bessie to a degree. When Joey thought she had the upper hand, her sister would turn the conversation around or vice versa. When dealing with a sibling, you always had to be prepared to be hit give as good as you got.

"Having a little human being call you, Daddy."

Joey's smile slowly faded. Her eyes shot to Pacey. He quickly glanced toward her but then he gave a chuckle. "C'mon, man, I can't even rein our father who's almost sixty."

"But someday," Doug persisted.

A prickle went up her spine causing Joey to straighten up. Did she want this discussion to end? Did she want it to continue? She wanted to bolt and she wanted to hear what Pacey had to say. What did she want him to say?

They'd never talked about future parenthood. Granted, they hadn't even been back together an entire summer, but now that Doug so ungraciously broached the topic…What did Pacey want in their future? Joey wondered, tucking a piece of windblown hair behind her ear. Going by both of their turbulent childhoods in not so _Family Ties_ households, it would be understandable if one or both of them were a little gun shy.

And that's not even putting into account her current predicament.

"Someday is such a broad term," Pacey lightly replied even as his eyes caught hers and held.

…

A few hours later Pacey walked into the dimly lit living room of the beach house and stared out at the surf. Grams had gone back to her place and Jack and Doug had already said their goodnights. Now the house vibrated with the kind of silence that made one's thoughts louder and more cumbersome.

Pacey had brushed off Deputy Doug's inquiry about future fatherhood because he didn't have an answer. Truth be told, he'd never thought about it in a tangible sense. The notion had always been far away to be brought out at a later date. Pacey Witter, former class clown and now restaurateur extraordinaire, didn't know if being a daddy would be one of his life achievements.

Honestly, he didn't know much of anything about the future at that particular moment. During his chat with Mike Potter this afternoon, the answer seemed simple and clear, but Joey's quiet demeanor that evening made it seem anything but that.

His grand romantic gesture may not be the ideal way to put Joey's mind at ease. It could quite possibly be what sends her running not only from him, but from herself once and for all.

Damn, Pacey sighed leaning his arm against the window. All he wanted was for Joey to finally open up to him. He wanted her to confide in him about what she was feeling. He wanted to be part of her decision to have the preventive mastectomy or not have the preventive mastectomy. At the same time, though, Pacey didn't want to burden her with his opinion. It was her body after all, even though both of their lives seemed to hang in the balance of uncertainty.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Pacey turned around and smiled at Joey. "I was just thinking about things."

"Naturally," she smiled slightly as she sat down on the sofa. Were you thinking how much quieter this place is than being stuck with a bunch of circus clowns at the B&B? "Joey joked.

"Hey," he chuckled, "They could've helped me find my true calling in life."

Joey laughed, "Your 'true calling', huh? And that wouldn't be what Doug asked you about earlier?" she asked turning serious. "Is that what you've been mulling over as you absently stare out at the rocky waters?"

"A little bit," he dropped his head and then took a seat beside her. "But I've been wondering more about you and what you've been thinking lately."

"Pace," Joey sighed averting her eyes. A moment ticked by before she said, "I know I've been a tad closed off, but I just need a little more time to figure everything out."

"And you don't want me to help you do that," he replied softly. He was probably unlocking a gate that he would regret, Pacey knew, but he couldn't stand by passively any longer. He needed to know.

She looked back at him with her eyebrows crinkled. "You know, that's not what I mean."

''Then, let me in, Jo, "

"I will."

"When? "Pacey asked. "When you go for that second opinion you aren't in any rush to get? Talk to me, Joey," he reached for her hand.

She pulled back and her voice became distant, "What do you want me to say, Pacey? Do you want to know that I'm scared of getting cancer no matter what I decide, that this decision, which they say is up to me, is only an ugly trick? Or maybe I should have you decide for me? What do you want me to do, Pacey?"

Maybe he was the worst man on the face of the earth, but he welcomed her anger. He shook his head. "Joey, I'm not…"

"No," she protested standing up and facing him, "tell me, tell me, I want to know what you think is best for me."

"Jo…"

"Please, Pacey, just tell me," she pleaded softly.

He took in a heavy breath and replied, "I-I think surgery is the better option."

Joey nodded a few times as if she already expected that response. Tears glistened in her eyes but she held them from back "W-well, I'm glad that you finally said it, "she said simply.

"I don't want to put any pressure on you, Jo. We can discuss this," Pacey replied getting to his feet.

"Right, right," Joey said dubiously wiping at her eyes. "You know what? It's late. We really need some sleep if we're going back home in the morning." With that, she turned her back and walked away.

Leaving Pacey alone in the dark yet again.

…

"You can say, 'I told you so'," Joey said to Bessie the next morning. She went over to the B&B while Pacey made a quick run to the Icehouse before they left the Cape. Thanks to her brilliant overreaction to his concern and input, there was now a void between them that she hadn't felt since high school. When Pacey had come to bed, he’d apologized, and although she’d said that he didn't need to, she promptly turned her back to him, shutting him out a second time in one evening.

Oh, who was she kidding? She shut him out for weeks ever since that day in Dr. Gardener's office.

Joey sighed. She was her own worst enemy, she realized. Her frustration wasn't truly toward Pacey. She was mad at herself and just fate in general. Of course, Pacey wanted her to be proactive and have the surgery. She just wasn't ready to hear him say it even though she sort of forced it out of him. Now it seemed all the more real and she couldn't hide from it another day.

"I'm not going to say that, Joey," Bessie replied handing her sister another plate from the dishwasher "I know how Pacey feels. But to him, it's probably a bit worse. He's sharing his life with you, Jo. You need to fix it."

"How?" she asked, opening the upper cabinet, "By agreeing to be put under the knife tomorrow?"

Bessie rolled her eyes, "C'mon, we both know that's not what Pacey wants. It may be what I want, "she smirked, "but not him."

Joey dropped her eyes, knowing that her sister spoke the truth. "He said as much last night."

"So?"

"So, what if whatever I do isn't enough for us to be happy?"

"You just have to believe it will be."

…

"H-hey, man," Dawson's steps slowed as he walked out and spotted Pacey sitting on the Leery porch. "Were you planning on knocking, Pace?"

Pacey chuckled and stood. "I got hit by a bad case of nostalgia, I guess you can say." He wasn't sure what brought him to Dawson's door, but here he was at the house that held many happy memories and just as many painful regrets. Did he think his childhood best friend could help him? And with the intricate workings of the mind of one Josephine Potter, of all things? Was he truly this desperate?

The other man laughed, "I know how that goes…I make my living on that same nostalgia…Uh, how's your dad? Joey said that you fired him."

"Oh, the former sheriff," Pacey replied, "and I worked things out. Joey and me, on the other hand…." he sighed.

Dawson's forehead creased, "What happened?"

Was that genuine concern he heard in his once romantic rival's voice? Pacey wondered. Hell, some things could change for the better. "The question should be what _hasn't_ happened?" he said, gesturing with his hands. "I don't know, Dawson. I just don't know," he paused for a beat, then said, "You know, when we agonized over whether or not Joey had cancer, I never felt so powerless, but now it's even worse knowing that the possibility is there, forever suspended in the air, mocking us." His throat constricted as he continued, "I mean, I thought giving her time was the answer, but it just brought endless wondering what she was thinking. Last night I couldn't take it anymore, so I asked Joey, but she's further away now than before." Pacey sighed, taking a seat again.

"God, Pacey," Dawson replied sitting down across from him, ' I knew Joey was …I mean, I didn't know," he fell silent, then tried again, "Listen, man, I cannot pretend that I know what you two are going through, but I do know that Joey needs you!"

"Yeah, yeah," Pacey nodded, "but does she want to need me? I'm not so sure."

"Joey was at your wall yesterday," Dawson admitted. "Why do you think that is, Pace?"

Pacey smiled wistfully, his eyes brightened a bit.

"You challenge her, she told me that. You know she may be afraid, but she wants your perceptive guidance."

Dawson wasn't telling him anything that he didn't already know, Pacey knew, but it was nice to be reminded, particularly when it came from the guy whom he'd least suspect would be doing the reminding. "You're quite perceptive, too, my friend," he chuckled then somberly stated, "Thanks."

"Anytime," Dawson smiled. "It actually feels good to be on the opposite side of giving advice."

"What do you mean?"

"In the confused years of adolescence, everyone tried to help me with a confidence renaissance whether it was about my lousy films or romantic woes or simply my idealistic notions that crashed and burned."

"Hey, don't knock _The Sea Creature from the Deep._ It was some of your best work, man," Pacey joked before saying, "Seriously, though, Dawson, it wasn't always like that."

His friend shrugged, "When you try to rewrite your history every week, you tend to learn from your mistakes."

Pacey sighed.

When he left the Leery porch, for the first time in a long time, Pacey felt a kinship with Dawson. He certainly wanted to avoid making past mistakes, but could he?

…..

Joey walked out of the bedroom after putting their overnight bags on the bed. They had a quiet trip back to the city. All the way, though, she felt the tension in the air making the already suffocating summer humidity all the more unbearable. For two people who'd made witty repartee into their own highly charged art form, they could make small talk into the most awkward thing possible. How much longer could they go on ignoring their issues, well actually her issues?

"Do you want to order-" Joey began to ask and then stopped in the threshold of the living room.

From the sofa, Pacey gazed up at her after slipping back on his shoes.

"You're going out?" Joey asked raising a brow.

"Scully called," he sighed standing up. "He needs me to come in for the dinner crowd and after I left him in the lurch by rushing out of town, I owe the guy. "

In other words, Joey thought, he was giving her space. Or maybe he just wanted space from her. Her stomach twisted. Old patterns never die.

Pacey walked to her. "I'll only be a few hours," he said, his lips pressing against her forehead

She closed her eyes comforted by his familiar touch.

But just for a second.

Then, it was gone.

He started to turn around.

"Pacey," Joey uttered faintly, grabbing his hand, "wait."

His questioning eyes met hers.

"I don't want it to be like this, Pacey,"

"Jo, you-"

Joey shook her head, "Let me say this, Pacey."

He remained silent.

"You were right, okay? You were right," she admitted, glancing down and then back at him. "A mastectomy's probably the best choice," she sighed.

"Joey," Pacey shook his head, "You don't have to do this."

"It's not because of you," she countered. "It's the logical choice. I know that. I guess, I wasn't ready to acknowledge it. Part of me still wants to bury my head in the sand, but there you have it."

He nodded, his eyes holding hers, "Jo, I understand that. Okay, maybe not exactly what you're feeling, because only you can, but I want you to tell me your frustrations and doubts. Isn't that what you wanted from me all those years ago?"

He did have a point, Joey knew. Pacey kept all his insecurities bottled up until they boiled over at senior prom. She'd desperately wanted for them to avoid that type of mistake this time around, but instead she'd been driving straight on into another collision "Pacey, I'm so sorry, I took it out on you…You don't deserve it." Joey replied.

He gave a small smile and asked gently, "So what now, Jo?"

"I don't know, honestly," she exhaled, "I know what the right thing to do is, but I'm not ready to leap into surgery just yet. " Her eyes lowered as she added, "But I know that's not fair to you."

"Fair to me?" Pacey echoed, "This isn't about me."

"How can you say that, Pacey?" Joey responded, remembering what Doug asked him last night. "It's only natural to want to imagine the future a certain way, to want things. I want them, too, but I can't dare to imagine them right now," she confessed. "All I know for an absolute certainty is that I want you by my side," she shook her head, "and maybe that's selfish of me."

Pacey smiled, putting his hand on her hips and pulling her close, his gaze locking with hers, "If that's the definition of selfish, Jo, then so am I. You are enough for me, more than enough. I'm with you, no matter what happens. Don't you get that yet?"

Her lips tugged up slightly, "It's taking a while to sink in, I guess."

He chuckled as his lips descended upon hers.

Joey let herself become lost in him, hoping that _this_ would remain enough, at least for now.

…

"Tell me again why we agreed to this double date?" Joey asked Pacey as they walked toward Scully's restaurant. In the past month or so, a few things had changed along with the rollercoaster of steamy and unusual cool temperatures that ushered in August. For starters, they finally sought out a second opinion that made Joey more at ease with what she eventually needed to do. She hadn't set a date for the operation, but the notion didn't seem as daunting anymore. It was just something that she needed to do like going to work or going to get your teeth cleaned.

Okay, so maybe removing your breast tissue was a bit more convoluted than teeth cleaning, Joey amended to herself, but the point was that the idea didn't make her want to scurry off in the opposite direction. There were days, however, where her fifteen-year-old self-reared her insecure head, making her wonder if after everything is said and done, would she have a better outlook about herself and the future?

The future which included a life with Pacey.

He'd said that he just wanted her to let him in, Joey knew, but those vexing doubts would not completely vanish. Would he always be content with her slow as molasses contemplation? Pacey had always been a take-action-first-and-think-later type of guy. God, he moved to New York for her without a second thought. And here she was, still struggling with how to prolong her own life and the fear that comes with it.

"Well," Pacey replied, breaking into her reverie, "I have to work with Drue and I really don't want to hear him gripe about another relationship gone wrong because of our neglect." According to Drue, his girlfriend of last month, Kathy, dumped him due to his lack of verbal restraint and his mother issues. Somehow the blame was put squarely on Pacey and Joey for not following through with a double-date and being the appointed _Dear Abby_ in saving his relationship. Therefore, Drue, in his own Drue-like way, persuaded them to meet his new main squeeze this evening. Joey had to admit, however, that Drue wasn't the same crude jackass from Capeside High. The few times she'd come to visit Pacey at the restaurant Drue actually seemed like a matured individual, give or take a few wisecracking one-liners.

"And how did we become the paradigm of a successful relationship?" Joey inquired, stepping under the green awning of Scully's. The four of them had agreed to stop here for drinks before checking out a new hot spot that just opened a few blocks away. Joey had an inkling, though, that Pacey just wanted to check in on Scully. He'd taken quite a liking to the older man and after she'd met him, Joey could see why. Scully reminded her of a buoyant grandfather who always either embarrassed you at Christmas dinner or brought some life to the party. In other words, she saw a man who wasn't ashamed of being who he was and didn't care what anybody thought.

Pacey stepped beside her. "I'd say we're perfect in our imperfections," he whispered into her ear before opening the entrance door.

She rolled her eyes and smiled walking past him into the establishment. As soon as they were inside, Scully rushed over to greet them.

"Oh, Josephine, you look lovely this evening," the man smiled, "and so do you, Pacey…. A lovely couple."

Pacey chuckled almost self-consciously, "Has Drue arrived yet?"

Scully nodded as his eyes went over to the bar, "The poor fool looks bored out of his mind with that young lady."

Joey turned her head and saw Drue with a wearied look sitting beside an angry, pretty redhead. Oh boy, here they go again, Joey thought, raising her brow at Pacey.

"Don't give me that look," he replied, "I never said tonight would be smooth sailing."

Drue's eyes lit up when they came forward and he jumped off the stool. "There you guys are," he smiled tightly. "This is Cheryl…"

The woman cut him off and replied, "Sorry to interrupt the pleasantries, but since you're such good friends with Drue, maybe you can tell me if he makes a habit of texting ex-girlfriends while he's on a date with a new one."

"I told you that it was nothing," Drue countered, not very convincingly.

"Whatever," Cheryl said, "I'm through with childish games. I'm going to the ladies' room and then I'm leaving."

After Cheryl stormed off, Joey stared down Drue. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Don't be all judgmental on me, okay?" he responded. "Kathy texted me and asked if we could meet tomorrow and talk things out. What was I supposed to do?"

"Uh," Pacey replied, "here's a suggestion, don't make plans while on another date and definitely do not lie to the woman's face."

Joey nodded, "It's rather simple, polite etiquette."

Yeah, okay," Drue agreed, "I made a mistake, but I can't very well apologize in the women's washroom."

"I'll go try to do damage control this time," Joey offered already heading off. She wasn't really sure what she was doing, but she wanted to see if any wounds could be averted. When Joey walked into the restroom, Cheryl was already closing her handbag.

"Some night, huh?" Joey smiled apprehensively as she moved closer to the vanity. "You can always count on Drue Valentine to keep things exciting, to say the least."

The other woman turned and sighed, "I knew what I was getting into. When we met, I knew that he was on the rebound. I wasn't looking for a commitment, but I wanted a little…"

"Respect," Joey supplied.

Cheryl nodded, "That wouldn't have hurt, but hey, you can't have everything," she shrugged, "not every guy shows his undying love on a wall."

"Well," Joey began and then froze, "wait, what?"

"There's a sign on the side of this building," Cheryl smiled with a sudden meaningful expression. "You should go check it out." With that, she backed away and left.

Go check out what? Joey wondered. A sign? A wall? Who would do such a thing? _You are enough for me, more than enough. I'm with you, no matter what happens. Don't you get that yet?_ Pacey's voice reverberated in her head. No, he wouldn't, she shook her head, but she started walking slowly. His words carried on: _It means that you were right. That me leaving would mean I'm giving up on you. And I'm not quite prepared to do that yet. But it also means that I need to know that you're not quite prepared to give up on me yet either._

Her shaky legs stepped out of the backdoor into the sunset's peach haze.

And around the corner

Her gaze lifted to the brick wall.

**PLEASE SAY YES!**

"Took you long enough," his smiling voice came from behind her.

Joey jumped and turned.

Pacey chuckled and then said, "Sorry, you're probably wondering what the hell this reminiscent gesture is."

"You planned this?" she breathed, looking back at the wall and then again at him, trying to find the ground under her feet. "Drue? Cheryl?"

He nodded with a boyish grin, "I wanted to throw you off course with that little charade of a double-date disaster, also redolent of days gone by."

'Why?"

Pacey sobered, his piercing eyes never leaving hers, "Because I'm about to ask you this important question, the most important question that one could ask."

"Pace"

He held up his hand, "I know what you're thinking, Jo, but I'm not doing this to push you or tell you how I see our life together " He closed the distance between them, his voice revealing quiet purpose as his hand caressed her cheek, "I love you. I just love you, Jo. That fact won't change. It won't be wavered or deterred until my last breath. It's one assurance that you can always count on. It's a guarantee that has always been with you even when we were apart."

With a tear blurred gaze, Joey looked down at a demure diamond ring in his hand.

"Will you marry me, Miss Josephine Potter?"

"Yes!" Joey blurted out, smiling between sobs. She was tired of questioning and doubting, of contemplation and analysis. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, kissing him and repeating quietly, "Yes. I love you. Pace."

That was one guarantee that she knew without a shadow of a doubt.

The only guarantee that really mattered.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

**_ Chapter Ten _ **

_ One Year Later _

There were only two weeks to go, Joey thought with a deep sigh as she plopped down next to her fiancé on the sofa. It was a long day of lack of accomplishment. She’d never thought it would be this hard, this all-encompassing ordeal that took over one’s life.

“How did it go?” Pacey asked, taking his eyes away from _Top Chef._ and looking at Joey _,_ his mouth turning into a tentative smile as he took in her disheartened appearance. “No such luck, I take it.”

“We should just elope,” Joey said half-jokingly.

“And disappoint and anger our very opinionated flock of family and friends who’d roast us on a spit if we so much as whisper the words, Las Vegas.” Pacey shook his head. “Not gonna happen, Jo, as much as I want otherwise,” he said dryly.

Joey narrowed her eyes at him. “When did you become the rational one in this equation?”

“Uh, the moment you turned into bridezilla.” Pacey chuckled.

“Now that’s an exaggeration,” Joey replied defensively. “I just haven’t had any luck finding the right dress, and I feel like I’ve been in every bridal shop in this city.” She didn’t know why it felt like she was on an impossible scavenger hunt to find the perfect gem. Why did it matter so much? Any other bride-to-be would have chosen a dress several months ago.

In general, the wedding preparations were going smoothly despite a few snags here and there. The sunset ceremony would take place on the waterfront of the Icehouse and the following reception would be held in the newly renovated restaurant itself. Over the last year, the Icehouse had gone through an immense transformation, thanks to the dedication and hard work of both Pacey and Joey’s fathers. The co-managers—and soon to be in-laws—had seemed to finally put their animosity for one another on the backburner to help the engaged couple. John Witter had given Pacey the financial backing for an addition to the Icehouse that allowed for a party room and an extended deck that reached out onto the water where the nuptials would happen. Meanwhile, Mike Potter had worked to modernize the kitchen and took charge of planning the menu for the reception.

“You know, you look incredible to me no matter what,” Pacey replied, his eyes boring into hers, letting her know his obvious meaning: _You still look incredible to me after the surgery._ He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“I know.” Joey nodded and gave a small smile. The outer scars were now almost completely healed. She would always have faint reminders on the surface, but for the most part, the breast reconstruction looked fine.  However, she had been struggling to unpack the emotional baggage that came with having a preventive double-mastectomy. The memory of waking up afterward still lingered in her mind like a bookmarker to a major twist…

…

_“She’s coming to,” a gentle voice had said in the manner that put a person at ease. Joey’s eyes had remained closed as a chair squeaked against linoleum and somebody came closer. Who was there? Joey had wondered as she fought through a cloud of wooziness._

_His lips brushed lightly over her forehead as she slowly lifted her eyelids. Her gaze met his brilliant blue eyes._

_“Pacey,” Joey croaked over the sandpapery texture of her tongue._

_He smiled lazily. “Hey, how are you feeling?”_

_“Thirsty.”_

_“I’ll get some water,” the nurse replied from the end of the bed as she hooked a clipboard onto the footboard and then left the room._

_As Joey tried to shift her body into a more comfortable position, her arms stayed still at her sides. Oh, God. “Pacey, I can’t feel my arms.”_

_“Yeah,” he replied solemnly “Remember that could happen, that you can experience some numbness for a few days.”_

_Joey relaxed a little and rested her head back against the pillow. Of course, she remembered. Several doctors had warned her of this “minor” post-op setback but there was a difference between being prepared and actually experiencing said setback. What other things should she be expecting? Joey thought, looking down at her chest, her beast-less chest._

_After Pacey’s proposal, there had been no more fear of the unknown. Joey had immersed herself in research about her precancerous condition._ _Atypical hyperplasia increased her chances of getting breast cancer, and the fact that her mother had lost her own battle hadn’t helped Joey’s odds._ _She didn’t need to start her marriage off with a storm cloud over their heads ready to burst at any moment. After seeking third and four opinions_ — _and after much thought and much discussion with Pacey_ — _Joey had determined that her best option was to have a double-mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. If she was willing to reduce the cancer risk with one breast removal, she’d reasoned, why not reduce the risk even more by removing the other one as well?_

_There was also the option of having her ovaries removed, but she’d decided against it for the time being. Even though Pacey had made it clear that he was with her no matter what she decided, she didn’t want to take away his chance to be a father. Besides, after spending hours upon hours with little Amy, Joey realized how much she yearned for motherhood someday._

_Once the nurse came back with a plastic cup, Joey’s mind switched gears to what actually happened during the operation. After taking a long sip of ice, cold water, she asked Pacey, “Did you speak to the doctor? How did it go?”_

_Pacey nodded. “Everything went smoothly. They just want you to relax and concentrate on your recovery.”_

_…_

 Unfortunately, her recovery process was still happening, Joey thought now as she sat on the sofa. It was three months later, and she still had that familiar thirst, that thirst to feel comfortable in her body again. The silicon implants were a good substitute, but they didn’t feel like a natural part of her. They were not a natural part of her. She was getting used to them, but it would take time.

“Jo?”

She pulled herself out of her reverie and turned her head toward Pacey. “Yeah, sorry, what?”

“I was just saying, to take the pressure off of you, maybe I could wear the dress and be the center of attention.” Pacey looked at her with an innocent puppy dog expression, biting back a grin.

At the mental image of Pacey in white lace, Joey rolled her eyes and laughed.

She was reminded once again why she was marrying this man.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

“So, will you let me plan your bachelor party?” Drue asked Pacey later that night after closing. The last diner had left and the two men were just talking over a beer by the bar, waiting for Scully to come out of his back office. He’d told them that they needed to have a “serious talk.”

“That’s normally the best man’s job,” Pacey replied taking a swig. Drue had been pushing this idea of being in charge of Pacey’s bachelor shindig for weeks. And for weeks, Pacey had been saying variations of the same refusal.  The party planning was in the hands of Dougie and Dawson, with Jack standing on the sidelines to assist at any given time.

It had been a long internal debate choosing between Dawson and Doug to be his best man. On one hand, Dawson was his childhood best friend. Pacey had imagined him more as a brother for many of their formative years. On the other hand, Doug had really stepped up as an older brother in recent years. His brother was still a pain in the ass, mind you, but he became a supportive, friendlier pain in the ass. So, Pacey made the only logical choice.

Doug and Dawson would both be his best _men_.

“You’ll be lucky if one of your last nights of bachelorhood doesn’t resemble a granny’s bake sale with those Three Stooges.” Drue scoffed.

“Well, I’m not looking for my bachelor party to be turned into a _Girls Gone Wild_ video,” Pacey replied.

Drue chuckled. “It wouldn’t be _that_ extreme.”

“What’s extreme?” Scully asked with an arched brow as he walked through the swinging doors from the kitchen.

“We were just talking about my bachelor party,” Pacey said turning his attention to their boss, who seemed to love eavesdropping.

 Scully nodded. “Well, then, I’d say the more extreme the better.”

“See, I’m not the only one.” Drue smirked.

“That’s actually what I want to talk about with you,” Scully said to Pacey, taking a seat at a nearby table.

“You want to talk about my bachelor party?” Pacey raised a brow amusingly as he sat down across the table from the older man.

“No, no.” Scully shook his head. “I want to give you your wedding gift.”

Pacey held up his hand. “You really don’t have to do that, sir. You’ve done enough for Joey and me.” They would forever be grateful for the goofy yet loveable man’s support during Joey’s recovery. For the first couple days after the surgery, Pacey had stayed home despite Joey’s protest. Scully had gone beyond being understanding by asking the sous chef to cook up daily meals for Pacey and Joey. He’d then brought the meals to their apartment every evening, himself.

His visits had been a welcome distraction for Joey, Pacey knew. The numbness in her upper arms may have been temporary, but she’d become vulnerable to Pacey as he helped her go about the day including dressing, eating, and everything in-between.  For a stubborn and independent woman like Joey, that was far from simple or easy. Having Scully there, however, put things in a different perspective.

Here was a man who strived to help others in need, but under the surface, you could tell he was just a lost widower trying to find a purpose.

 _“I became smitten with my Maureen when we were youngsters and she helped me with those darn confusing algebra problems,” he’d told Pacey and Joey over a plate of ravioli one night. “She was hella smart.”_  

Scully had spent the next fifty plus years building a life with Maureen until one day she just wasn’t by his side anymore.

Pacey couldn’t imagine that kind of despair. He didn’t want to imagine that kind of loss.

“I know, I know,” Scully said to Pacey now, “but it’s not that sort of wedding gift. Pacey, you’ve been a godsend to me and this place.” He stretched his arms out wide. “You turned this place around by your fine knowledge of what’s popular—of what people like to eat— and you’ve got the skills to actually cook. Something I don’t know.” His mouth tilted up into a sad little smile.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Pacey replied sincerely.

The older man waved away the sentiment. “It’s true, it’s true. I wanted to keep this place opened for my dear Maureen, but it was one disaster after another.” He exhaled deeply. “Anyway, it’s time for me to go and I want you to have it.”

“What?” Pacey said, his eyes widened.

“What?” Drue echoed from behind the bar. “You’re giving _him_ the restaurant?’

Scully looked over at Drue as if he just noticed his presence, then turned back to Pacey. “It’s time for me to retire. I’m tired and I don’t know, I don’t know. Maureen always dreamed of going to Tuscany, ya know, to see the wine country. She never got the chance, but I do.”

“Yeah, great,” Pacey replied. “You can take a vacation, a nice, long vacation. You don’t have to give this up, Scully.”

His boss shook his head.  “I’m not giving it all up. I’ll be your silent partner. You think it over and talk it over with your young bride.” Scully patted his knee and then stood up putting an obvious end to the discussion. “I gotta call it a night.”

With his mind wheeling, Pacey said good night.

“What are you gonna do, man?” Drue asked when Scully left.

Pacey exhaled a long breath. “Good question.”

………………………………………

“Why are you so apprehensive about this, Pace?” Joey asked him a couple hours later in bed as she propped a pillow behind her back, her eyeglasses perched on her nose, a fresh manuscript on her lap seeking her attention.  “This is the opportunity that you aspired to achieve, Pacey. Owning your own restaurant in the city has been your dream.”

“But it wouldn’t be my own restaurant, now would it?” he replied, leaning his head against the headboard seemingly mulling over his own question.

“Well, technically, you aren’t the original founder of the Icehouse, either, are you?” Joey asked, her mouth curving up into a sly smile.

 “Okay, point taken,” he amusingly said before turning serious, “but that actually brings up another point as well. If I take on another established business, would I be shutting the door to other possibilities? I just wish there was a way to know for sure if the risk will be worth it down the road.”

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do, Pacey.”

“Why not?”

Joey smiled slightly. “Because you didn’t tell me what to do.” Until she practically ordered him to do so, she amended to herself, but that was neither here nor there. The ultimate decision about her medical dilemma had always remained hers and hers alone. It had also been the case when she was offered a promotion to a senior editorial position so soon after her surgery. Of course, she’d discussed the pros and cons of taking on more responsibility with Pacey at that particular time`, but at the end of the day, it was her decision to take the job. “Besides, I think you’ve already made up your mind on what to do,” she said. “And you just want some validation.”

Pacey nodded and sighed. “I think I’m gonna do it. I’ll be co-owner of Scully’s.”

“I had no doubt,” she replied, flipping open the manuscript. “It’s the right move. You’ve already made Scully’s bigger and better than Scully, himself, could have ever imagined possible. He trusts you and has total faith in you.  And It definitely could lead you to more opportunities.”

He chuckled, turning onto his side and shifting his body closer to hers.  “Why didn’t you just say that then, Potter?”

“Are we gonna talk in circles all night?” Joey sighed, trying to sound irritated even as she looked down into his teasing gaze that always softened her defenses. “I’ve got a meeting tomorrow with this up-and-coming author and haven’t even put a dent in her script yet,” she explained.

“You’re right,” Pacey said raspingly before his lips lightly touched the curve of her neck, “Talking’s highly overrated.”

“C’mon, Pacey,” Joey feigned annoyance even as she moved her head to give him better access for his welcomed onslaught. It had taken a little time after her reconstruction for them to find their rhythm again in the sex department. Would Pacey find her just as desirable as before? Joey had wondered.  He’d said countless times that he still found her beautiful and hot, but were they just well-meaning words?

Their first time post-surgery had been a little over a month ago. Initially, things were hesitant and slow. Pacey had been very cautious not to hurt her or cause her any discomfort as his hands and lips navigated around her healing body. It was almost like she was losing her virginity to him all over again.

  It was _nice_ just being _that_ close to him _._

As the days had passed, however, sex had gotten to be more than _nice,_ much more than _nice_. The feeling of his body against hers—with hers—had overpowered any doubts of inadequacy.

Pushing all such thoughts away now, Joey gave up the pretense. “I guess, I can always reschedule,” she said as she tossed the script and her eyeglasses onto the nightstand, then her lips captured Pacey’s, eagerly. As she wound her arms around his broad shoulders, she deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue between his teeth, taking control.

She needed the control, but more importantly, she needed him.

She wanted him.

Soon her nightshirt and underwear accompanied his t-shirt and boxers onto the floor. Pacey rolled Joey onto her back, plunging his tongue into her mouth in a hard, desperate kiss before his mouth trailed a burning path down her chin, neck, and then her breast.

Even though the physical touch to her breasts no longer aroused the same response, the same warm stirrings built within her from a deeper place that only Pacey could evoke, pooling downward to her core. Impatiently, Joey threaded her fingers through his thick head of hair, pulling him back up her body, her mouth meeting his again, hungrily.

“I want you,” she panted and smiled at Pacey as she nudged him onto his back. Her hands pressed against his smooth, muscular chest. Her eyes locked with his as she straddled him, slowly sinking onto his rigid length. She began to move and he quickly followed, meeting her thrust for thrust.

Until they both came fully undone.

…………………………………

She still didn’t have a dress and time was running out, Joey thought as she threw a pair of socks into her bedroom dresser at the Potter B&B. There was only eight days left until the big day and they were back in Capeside for the final preparations.

 oh yeah, and she still didn’t have a dress.

Joey slammed the drawer shut. Hard.

“What did that drawer ever do to you?” Bessie smirked from the doorway.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit frustrated with myself,” Joey replied, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I can’t follow through and make a decision, but what else is new, right?”

“What’s wrong, Jo?” Bessie asked in a gentler tone as she came into the room. “Is everything okay with Pacey?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Joey said, her mouth tugging up at the corners. “Things actually couldn’t be better between Pacey and me.” But then she sighed as her mind turned to the real problem. “It’s the distorted image of myself that could drive me into an insane asylum.”

“Isn’t that a tad bit melodramatic?”

“I still can’t find a wedding dress, Bess.”

Her sister’s eyes widened, “There’s only eight days left.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.

“Well, if you’d accepted my help as your matron of honor, maybe you wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

Joey expected this reaction, but there was a very good reason why she hadn’t accepted her sister’s help.  Joey had mistakenly thought that picking out a dress wasn’t that big of a deal. And Bessie had a lot on her plate, especially after Joey’s surgery. The older Potter sister decided to take the advice given by Joey’s doctors and go for genetic testing to see if she had inherited the mutation for breast cancer. For once, Joey wanted to be there for her sister offering moral support, not the other way around. Thankfully, Bessie didn’t have the gene mutations for breast cancer.

At least that was one more positive outcome on this year long rollercoaster ride.

Joey rolled her eyes and said, “I was wrong, okay? I didn’t think…I didn’t think I’d be this self-conscious after the reconstruction, but every dress I try on feels awkward, and I feel like I’m on display.”

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right dress,” Bessie said mischievously. “I have something you should see.” She turned on her heel and left the bedroom.

A sense of foreboding shot up Joey’s spine as she followed her sister into the living room. “Bessie, I don’t know —.”

Joey froze.

On a mannequin dress form in the middle of the room was a long wedding gown. The fabric looked light and summery, made out of thin, floral lace that would be perfect for a beach ceremony. It had a halter neckline, slightly flowing out at the hem. There was no doubt that it was a beautiful dress, but she had seen hundreds of beautiful wedding dresses in New York. This one, however, stood out among the rest.

“It’s Mom’s dream dress,” she said to Bessie almost breathlessly. It was an updated version, but it was their mother’s dream dress. “Where did you get this?”

“I came across it at the bridal shop when I was being fitted for my dress” Bessie explained. “I wasn’t sure at first until I came home and found the magazine photo attached to Mom’s painting easel in the garage.”

 A prickly ball formed in her throat.

“ _It’s a magical dress,” Lilian Potter had once told a four-year-old Joey who’d stumbled upon the photo when watching her mother paint. “It’s for princesses like Cinderella who dream of a happy ending.”_

Later, her mother would say that it was just too extravagant for a young bride looking to have an inexpensive shotgun wedding, but she’d still enjoyed the fantasy of it.

“What do you think?” Bessie looked at her expectantly. “It could be your something borrowed, you know. You’ll need to go for a fitting, of course.”

Joey shook her herself out of her reverie. “Uh, yeah, I love it in the general appraisal sort of way, but how did you set up this little staged surprise, Bessie.” She gestured to the dress standing in as the centerpiece of the room. It wasn’t exactly the ideal way to attract guests and make them feel at home.

“Okay, so, it was sisterly intuition,” Bessie replied. “Why do you think I pushed Pacey out the door to get dinner the moment you guys got here?”

“You’re amazing, Bess,” Joey said dryly.

“Will you wear it?”

Her mouth opened —.

The front door flew opened, crashing into the adjacent wall as Alexander ran into the house, skidding to a halt in front of them.

Bessie eyed her son sternly. “You know better than to run into the house. This isn’t a race track, young man.”

“Sorry, Mom,” Alexander dejectedly replied and then, he excitedly explained, “But Lily just heard on TV that there’s gonna be a hurricane next week. Isn’t that when Aunt Joey’s gonna get married?”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

**__ **

**_ Chapter Eleven  _ **

**__ **

“Our latest model shows Topical Storm Hilda gaining strength after it moves over Bermuda and turns toward the Northeastern U.S. Hilda will most likely hit the mainland as a category two hurricane by Thursday evening.  New Hampshire, New York, Connecticut, and Massachusetts will be in the storm’s direct path and should get ready…”

 

Pacey muted the Weather Channel as the blonde meteorologist repeated the same spiel for the umpteenth time about the possible storm surge and flooding expected. He turned his head from the flat screen above the Icehouse bar, and addressed his father and Mike Potter, who were seated across the counter. “Well, at least the forecasted timing of Hilda hasn’t changed. Hopefully, she’ll blow over with a little damage as possible and the wedding will go over without a hitch.” They had debated whether or not to postpone the wedding, but they were hoping for some good karma that would have the storm blow over. Unfortunately, it appeared like good karma wasn’t coming. Pacey sighed and closed his eyes, not able to stay in denial. “Oh, who am I kidding? There’s no way that everything will be in tip-top shape by Saturday.”

 

“There’s some positive thinking right there, son,” John said dryly as he stood from the barstool. “Pace, why don’t you let Mike and I worry about keeping things around here? Your job’s just to make it to the wedding in one piece, all right?”

 

Mike nodded. “Your father’s right, Pacey. We can handle any hiccups that blow our way. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Pacey looked perplexingly at the two men. Yes, he wanted them to be amicable for the greater good of the restaurant and any future holidays and birthdays, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being _Punk’d._ Their mutual agreeability would take some time to become part of the natural order of things. “I’ll try do that.”

 

“If I know my little brother, yeah, I think he’ll go for it,” a familiar voice entered the conversion.

 

Pacey crooked his head toward the entrance and he smiled when he saw Gretchen and Joey strolling toward the bar. Gretchen had come back into town yesterday, ready for all the bridal party hoopla, particularly Joey’s bachelorette party. Unfortunately, Hilda was set to make landfall on the same night Pacey and Joey planned to say adiós to the single life in the form of two exclusive parties. “What will I go for, Gretch?” Pacey asked his sister, raising his brow.

 

“A hurricane party.” His sister smirked like she held the holy grail of ideas. “One big party at the Potter B&B. We can all prepare for the storm and then hunker down and have some fun.”

 

Pacey regarded Joey. “You okay with this?”

 

She nodded and smiled. “Bessie already agreed.”

 

“So, the groom is the last to be asked, I see,” Pacey stated wryly.

 

Joey tilted her head to the side and feigned offense. “C’mon, Pace, it was strictly due to who was closer at the time.” she shrugged. “Bessie was closer.”

 

Pacey chuckled and bobbed his head. “Okay, I’m in.”

 

“How about us?” John asked gruffly.

 

Pacey turned to his father who was standing next to Mike Potter. They both wore expectant expressions as everyone looked at them. Pacey, who’d once thought going to a family gathering was like walking directly into a firing squad, found himself saying, “Of course you guys should come and Mom, too. The more the merrier, right?”

 

Whether or not that would be true was anyone’s guess.

 

…………………………………………………..

 

For the next few days, tourists jammed the highways exiting the Massachusetts coast, including the town of Capeside. The usual easygoing feel of the town had been replaced by restless anxiety as residents readied for the oncoming hurricane. Capeside High and the elementary school postponed the start of summer classes until the following week as adults and children alike gave each other a helping hand with preparations. Local shops and businesses boarded up windows and glass doors. And of course, the marina removed and secured vessels from choppy waters.

 

At the Icehouse, the entire staff battened down the hatches. While Pacey did his part in getting a plan in gear for what needed to be done, he gave the majority of the reins over to his co-managers. And for that, John Witter was extremely grateful. For years, he had let his own poor upbringing and shortcomings bleed over onto how he’d raised his sons. There were no excuses for the abuse that he had unleashed on them, especially on Pacey, but now was the chance to be better and make up for lost time.

 

The road hadn’t exactly been smooth, John knew, particularly when he had found out that his co-worker was none other than the no good ex-con Mike Potter. Granted, as a former sheriff, John had let his preconceived notions about the man run amuck. It had all come to a head, however, when he wrongly accused Mike of stealing money from the Icehouse. After almost collapsing the bridge that he had started to build with Pacey, John had slowly become more open-minded where Mike was concerned. It hadn’t taken long for him to realize that Mike was truly trying to trudge the same path to redemption that he was on.

 

For that, John had to respect the man.

 

“I don’t think we have enough sandbags,” Mike told John now as he put the last bag down next to the outer brick wall of the Icehouse underneath the front window, a sharp gust of wind suddenly cutting through the air and slapping their faces like a the first shot for an anticipated fight. “Any water will seep right through this barrier here.”

 

John gave a heavy sigh and nodded. “I’ll go now. The station still has some according to Dougie.” The storm was only hours away and they just were doing a last-minute inspection before heading over to the Potter B&B. The windows were already boarded up, inventory checked and double-checked, insurance and financial documents secured, and vendors canceled for the next couple days. The only hiccup was trying to prevent a flood from destroying the restaurant, which was unfortunately right on the waterfront and vulnerable to any storm surge, especially a storm as strong as Hilda.

 

And in this case, a storm that threatened to destroy a wedding that was still in for two days time. John intended to make the day perfect for Pacey and Joey come hell or high water. It was the least he could do.

 

“You want to let Pacey know?” Mike asked.

 

John shook his head. “We don’t need that many more bags. Besides, the kids have enough on their plate over at the B&B.”

 

Mike opened his mouth as if to argue, but simply said, “I’ll go with you.”

 

“Let’s go, then.”

 

………………………………..

 

Joey stood by the kitchen table and started lighting a few candles that had been found in the garage. The lights had already begun to flicker. It was only a matter of time before everybody was thrown into total blackness. Even though the windows were covered and sealed tight, the enraged gusts of wind could still be heard as they beat sheets of rain against the outside of the Potter B&B. Just an hour or so ago, everything had seemed calm like the atmosphere had been waiting for the right time to pounce, and it was now letting loose.

 

For the past forty-eight hours, the Potter B&B was turned into a safe haven by Pacey and Joey’s bridal party. Dawson had flown in from L.A. earlier than expected to help out. Andie had taken time off from her residency at Massachusetts General to be a bridesmaid, and she’d appointed herself hurricane prep coordinator. Even Drue and Scully had decided to ride out the storm in Capeside instead of staying put in New York. The only person who couldn’t make it was Audrey who had a last-minute flight cancelation.

 

The bridal party had stocked up on batteries and bottled water, and other hurricane party essentials, including Budweiser and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Everybody was currently in the living room, trying to take their minds off of the turbulent situation outdoors and relax. Well, except for the fathers of the bride and groom.

 

They hadn’t shown up yet.

 

Where the hell could they be? Joey wondered as she lit the last candle. According to Pacey’s mother, her husband had told her that he’d check in at the Icehouse before bringing her to the Potter B&B. She’d decided to stay home when there was no sign of the former-sheriff. As for Joey’s own father, he’d called that morning and said he had some things to do before heading over to the party.

 

But he wasn’t even picking up his cell.

 

“Okay, Doug, keep me posted,” Pacey said into his cell as he walked into the kitchen. “I won’t, all right? Just keep me posted,” he repeated before ending the call.

 

Joey looked up at Pacey, her stomach coiling with dread. “What’s going on?”

 

“Looks like our ever-so-devoted managers went to the police station just before Hilda arrived.” Pacey replied, rubbing a hand over his face as he sighed. “They picked up more sandbags and then headed back to the Icehouse, according to Doug.”

 

“Okay, so where are they now?”

 

“They’re not picking up their cells,” Pacey said, “nor are they answering the restaurant’s landline. Dougie said the station’s bombarded with frantic calls, but he’ll head over there himself, if he has to.”

 

“So, we just have to wait?” Joey asked, trying to stay calm and pushing away every worst-case scenario that tried to take shape in her head. Her father survived incarceration. Surely, he could survive a category two hurricane—and he was with a retired sheriff who knew emergency protocol in an event such as a natural disaster.

 

“Well, I told Doug that I’ll give him an hour, and then I’m gonna go to the restaurant myself.” Pacey replied resolutely.

 

Joey shook her head. “Let’s just hope they are safe and sound at the Icehouse and not picking up for some ridiculous reason.”

 

He exhaled heavily. “I’m not gonna argue that point right now. I’m banking on the fact that my dad’s just too stubborn and arrogant to let anything happen to either him or Mike.”

 

 For more than a year, Pacey had given her anything she’d wanted from space and time to a shoulder to cry on. Now she wanted to be there for him. “You’re probably right,” she said, walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. “But you know, Pace, it’s okay for you to admit that you care about your dad.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Pacey replied. “I know—.”

 

“Guys!” Drue called out to them as he came into the room. “This is one lame-ass party, but are you gonna join the rest of us?”

 

Joey narrowed her eyes at him. “Your sensitivity’s always so touching, Drue.” She really didn’t know what to make of Drue at that moment. The guy was on the outs with his girlfriend. Cheryl had called Joey the other day, and apologized for not coming to the wedding. Apparently, Cheryl was ready to take the next step in their relationship and Drue was content with the status quo. Now he was acting more jerkish than usual to show that he was just A-Okay, it seemed

 

“Sorry,” Drue said, looking ashamed, showing a tiny crack in his jackass armor, “any word about your dads?”

 

Pacey turned around and shook his head. “Doug’s gonna call back and wants us to wait.”

 

“And you’re just gonna do that?’

 

Just then, Dawson and Gretchen joined the discussion. “What’s going on?” Dawson asked just as the lights flickered once more before the house was thrown into complete darkness. Many groans along with Amy’s cry arose from the other room followed closely by Jack and Grams’ consoling voices.

 

In the dim candlelight Joey saw Pacey’s shoulders stiffen and she just knew what was coming next.

 

“I have to go and get them before this storm gets any worse,” Pacey stated, looking her straight in the eyes. “They’re probably just at the restaurant,” he repeated the easiest explained theory of John and Mike’s whereabouts.

 

“I’m coming with you,” Gretchen put in.

 

Pacey gave a small nod to his sister before turning back to Joey. “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Just be careful, all right?” Joey sighed, her gaze never leaving his as her hand brushed an annoying strand of hair away from her forehead. “I’d go with you, but Bessie was distressed enough with trying to keep Alexander calm while worrying about Dad.”

 

“I wouldn’t want my future in-laws furious with me by letting you tag along, anyway,” Pacey said, his mouth lifting slightly

 

Joey rolled her eyes and gave a hint of a smile back. “If I don’t hear from you in half an hour, I’m coming after you, though” she said, pushing down that pesky inner voice that sensed that something was bound to go wrong. She’d fought with that voice most of her life, especially in the past year, and it usually caused more headaches than resolutions.

 

Pacey’s eyes softened as he grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly. “Oh, I have no doubt.”

 

“I’ll come with you guys,” Dawson said.

 

Pacey nodded. “Thanks, man.”

 

“We’ll take my jeep,” Gretchen stated, leaving no room to argue.

 

“I’m driving,” Pacey quickly replied.

 

“I’ll just stay here and help look after the others,” Drue helplessly offered as everyone scattered.

 

Once Pacey, Dawson, and Gretchen put their raincoats on and took a collective deep breath, Pacey slowly turned the doorknob and— swish— the near eighty miles per hour wind gust shoved his body back as the door thudded against the wall.

 

Pacey looked back at Joey with a reassuring smile as he regained his footing. He cautiously stepped forward with Dawson and Gretchen following in his wake. Standing a few feet away, Joey shivered and crossed her arms, her eyes fixed on the three of them as they struggled out through the blustering storm, leaving her chilled to the bone.

 

………………………………

Soon twilight would descend on Capeside, but the dense, sinister clouds rolling across the sky already made it seem like night and driving was made all the more treacherous as rain swept across the road. In the driver’s seat of Gretchen’s Jeep Compass, Pacey peered out the front window as the trees swayed wildly like they were being controlled by an uncontrollable puppet master on an acid trip. Tree branches snapped off here and there as if they were giving up on the performance. The only positive, noteworthy observation was that the blinding monsoon momentarily seemed to slow to a steady rainfall.

 

A gust of wind jostled the jeep once again, and Pacey gripped the wheel with both hands, so tightly that it made his knuckles turn white.

 

 “How are you doing over there?” Gretchen asked him from the passenger seat.

 

“I’m just fine, just fine” Pacey gritted his teeth as he straightened the vehicle and then said, “Pop better be sitting having a cold beer, so I can kill him.”

 

“Why don’t you cut him some slack?” Gretchen countered a bit coolly. “You know, yes, he was an awful father and he knows it, but give him some credit for trying to do better and change at least.”

 

“I am,” Pacey muttered as the guilt crawled into his gut and he sighed. “Look, I know the man’s not the same bastard that he used to be, but it’s just hard to forget, you know.” And it was just easier to be angry with the former-sheriff than be worried about him, he thought to himself.

 

“Well, this wedding’s not short on the dramatics,” Dawson said, breaking the tension from the backseat.

 

“I’d much rather endure a blistering best man’s speech from Dougie than this,” Pacey replied, his eyes surveying the wet, deserted road in front of him even as his mind went to his bride-to-be and her own father. “Joey doesn’t deserve this.”

 

“Either do you, Pace,” Dawson patted his shoulder.

 

Pacey glanced up at his longtime friend in the rearview mirror. Even though he’d made Dawson one of his best men, Pacey didn’t take their friendship for granted anymore. Any support from Dawson now came with a bit of surprise. “Well, that goes without saying, my friend,” he said glibly in attempt to lighten the mood.

 

“Oh, is that— Is that Pop’s pickup?” Gretchen tentatively asked, pointing a finger to the right side of the road.

 

Pacey quickly gazed to the right, but his eyes snapped straight ahead. A large pine tree was sprawled in the middle of Ferry Avenue. Pacey slowly turned his head back to the right and saw the backend of a red Ford sticking out of a ditch. It was indeed his father’s pickup.

 

………………………………

“How are you holding up?” Andie asked Joey with a hesitant smile as she sat down next to her on the living room sofa. The room was immersed in an orangish glow of candlelight while the NOAA Weather Radio sat on the nearby side table giving continuous updates.

 

It had only been fifteen minutes and Joey already wanted to call Pacey to find out what was happening. What a moronic decision to stay behind to look after Bessie, she scolded herself. Her sister was currently in her son’s bedroom with Bodie and Alexander watching _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ by using a battery-operated portable DVD player. They were trying to distract the kid from the hurricane and his missing beloved grandfather. There was no need to worry about her sister. Bessie had this situation under control.

 

Joey wished she could say the same about herself.

 

She shrugged and said to Andie, “I’ve been better. Some kind of party, huh?”

 

“Well, it is a smashing success for some” Andie chirpily replied, glancing across the room. “Someone looks smitten.”

 

Joey followed her gaze to where Grams gently rocked a sleepy Amy while she quietly conversed with Scully. The widower sat there with a soft smile and a twinkle in his eyes, completely captivated by the great-grandmother.

 

It was nice to see Scully with a genuine smile, Joey thought. She had only known the man for a year, but the first word that came to mind to describe him was lonely. He’d always seemed like a wanderer who was stuck in an endless maze, not really knowing which way to go. Scully had brought dinner to Pacey and Joey every evening right after Joey’s surgery, but Scully was the one who’d seemed starved for a sense of belonging. He missed his wife so much. Joey knew all too well what losing a loved one could do to you.

 

She didn’t want to relive that experience again any time soon.

 

No, what the hell was she doing? Joey shook herself. She wouldn’t go down that unfriendly, dark path. She was fed-up of thinking in life and death terms. That was why she’d had a preventive mastectomy for God’s sake, to have peace of mind. Pacey and her father, along with Dawson and Gretchen, would be fine, Joey refused to entertain otherwise.

 

“Jo…Joey, are you all right?” Andie waved a hand in front of her.

 

Joey blinked a couple times to focus on the present. “Sorry, Andie, what did you Say?”

 

Her friend gave a sympathetic smile. “I don’t blame you for being distracted. And you probably don’t need a reminder, but it’s Pacey, you know. He has gotten out of a lot of tight jams. I mean, you guys spent a whole summer sailing down to the Florida Keys and probably had a few encounters with nasty weather to deal with, you know. This is just another storm, and they will find them.”

 

Joey nodded and sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just that after this past year, a simple wedding without drama or a crisis sounded ideal. This wasn’t what I imagined when I asked you to be a bridesmaid.” Asking Andie and Audrey to be her bridesmaids seemed strange and awkward to outsiders, Joey knew. After all, they both dated the groom-to-be, but as Jen had once put it, they were an incestuous group. More importantly, though, they were all able to remain friends despite that intricate history.

 

“Are you kidding?” Andie laughed. “Prepping for a hurricane sure beats a double-shift in the ER. This is a welcoming reprieve, actually.”

 

The two friends continued to chat about how grueling Andie’s work schedule was as a second-year resident. For a few minutes, Joey was able to put her mind on something else besides those she loved out there in the hurricane—until Jack’s aggravated voice carried over as he walked into the living room from one of the bedrooms.

 

“Doug, no,” Jack was speaking into his cell, “I wasn’t in the room when Pacey and Gretchen decided to go out…They have minds of their own, you know. Don’t take your frustration out on me.” He fell silent and his face relaxed a bit. “Yeah, me too,” he replied softly before ending the call.

 

“Did the sheriff have any news, or did he just call you to yell at you, Jack?” Drue asked as he leaned against the archway between the kitchen and living room, sipping his God-knows-what-number-of-beer in the last half hour.

 

Jack narrowed his eyes at the other guy before picking up his slumbering toddler from Grams’ lap.

 

“Is everything okay, dear?” Grams asked Jack.

 

He sighed. “Doug’s just worried about his family, and he’s gonna go out to the restaurant.”

 

“Finally,” Drue mumbled.

 

“What’s your problem, man?” Jack whispered harshly, careful not to wake his daughter.

 

Drue shrugged. “It, uh, it just seems Pacey’s brother just likes to boss him around and not take action himself.”

 

Jack scoffed. “You have some nerve, you know. What are you doing here, anyway, Drue? You and any kind of get-together shouldn’t mix. I haven’t forgotten that incident where your actions with Ecstasy resulted in my sister almost getting killed.” He looked over at Andie.

 

“Oh, my Lord,” Scully muttered from his seat, his eyes flying back and forth between the two men like two ping pong balls.

 

“Children, the baby’s gonna wake up,” Grams reprimanded. “It’s not time to argue.”

 

Joey thought the same and was just about to leap in when Andie beat her to it.

 

“Please, let’s quit this.” Andie stood, holding up her hand. “Let’s not rehash ancient history okay? Especially when I was at fault as well and don’t want to rehash it.  Jack, just go put Amy to bed.”

 

“Yeah, you guys are right,” Jack exhaled heavily, tightening his hold on Amy. After one more disgusted look at Drue, he walked down the hall to the bedrooms.

 

“I’m sorry, you know,” Drue said to Andie.

 

“Yeah, me too,” she simply replied before following her brother.

 

Joey saw the regret in Drue’s eyes and found herself saying, “Drue, why don’t you learn from your past mistakes. It’s not easy, believe me, I know, but it’s better than regretting and taking it out on the wrong people.”

 

“What are you trying to say?”

 

“Stop projecting and just call Cheryl.”

 

“Thank you, Dr. Freud,” Drue saluted her before stumbling back into the kitchen, probably for another beer.

 

“I better go talk to the kid.” Scully stood and went after his employee.

 

 Grams shook her head and said to Joey, “That boy’s still so stubborn and hard-headed, isn’t he?”

 

“That’s one way of putting it,” Joey replied, “but he’s been a good friend to Pacey. Drue actually helped him set up his wedding proposal.” Her mouth tugged up as that night raced to the forefront of her mind. _“I love you. I just love you, Jo. That fact won’t change. It won’t be wavered or deterred until my last breath. It’s one assurance that you can always count on. It’s a guarantee that has always been with you even when we were apart...Will you marry me, Miss Josephine Potter?”_ Joey would never forget Pacey’s blue eyes holding her gaze with such raw vulnerability, putting his heart on the line for her one last time.

Oh, God, it wasn’t the time to reminisce, Joey thought as she forced the memory away. She picked up her cell from the coffee table. With all the drama with Jack and Drue, fifteen more minutes had passed. Where was Pacey? What was happening? The winds were still bellowing outside, not letting up. How much damage could be out there? If something—.

Her cell buzzed.

Joey looked down at the phone number flashing on the screen. Her dad’s cell.

 

She quickly answered. “Hey, Dad?”

 

“Joey—yeah, honey, Jo, it’s— me,” Mike replied between waves of static.

 

“Dad, are you okay?” Joey asked, a flood of relief was already spreading through her body.

 

“Yeah—I’m soaked—to the— bone, but I’m— okay.”

 

She squeezed her eyes shut. “Thank God.” She opened them back up. “Is Pacey there with you?”

 

“Pacey? No—I’m alone here—at the—restaurant.”

 

Joey tensed. “If you’re there alone, where is John Witter?”

 

………………………………

Pacey pulled over to the side of the road and quickly jumped out of the jeep. The heavy rain slapped him right into the face, making it difficult to navigate even a few feet across the road.  He swiftly covered his head with the hood of his raincoat as he ran to his father’s pickup. “Hurry up!” Pacey called to Dawson and Gretchen over the gale-force winds that were trying to topple them.

 

Pacey took a quick scan down the street and around the surrounding area. It was deserted. Not one other soul was out taking a risk.  He turned back to the hood of the pickup. It was buried in the shrubs that were canopied by swaying pine trees. He glanced again over at the fallen tree laying across the street. He deduced that they needed to act hastily before they were ambushed by another tree.

 

His legs carefully stepped into the soggy ditch and he went down the slight incline to the Ford’s driver side door.  Pacey glanced up to see Dawson work his way to the passenger side and then his eyes fell back on the driver’s window. Through the pane, Pacey saw first the deflated airbag over the steering wheel and then his eyes made out his father’s head resting back against the seat—unmoving.

 

“Oh, fuck no!” Pacey yelled. With his adrenaline pumping, he yanked open the door. “Pop! Pop!” He bent down and stuck his head inside the truck.

 

“Pacey! Is he all right?” Gretchen shouted right behind him, nudging her way closer in the tight space of the opened door. “Is he okay?”

 

Pacey had his index and middle fingers by the side of John’s neck to check for a pulse when the former sheriff jerked his head. The weighty breath Pacey didn’t know he was holding escaped his lungs.

 

“Oh, thank God,” Gretchen muttered.

 

“Pace?” John groaned, his face contorting into grimace like he was bottling up a God-awful scream of agony that he wouldn’t dare express around his son. “Pacey, Gretch, what—what the hell are you doing here?”

 

Of course, why would the guy show any sign of gratefulness? Pacey sighed. “We came here to rescue you guys,” he said with just a twinge of sarcasm.

 

“Um, Pacey!” Dawson called to him from the other side of the vehicle. “There’s just one individual in need of rescuing.”

 

He looked across to Dawson’s creased forehead and an empty passenger’s seat.

 

Pacey froze for a second and then turned back to his father. “Where’s Mike?”

 

“He, he went, uh, went to get help,” John breathed through gritted teeth as his complexion turned the shade of a Beefsteak tomato. “Uh, at the Icehouse. Couldn’t get, uh, get a signal on my, my phone. My back’s, uh, uh killin’ me. Can’t move.”

 

“Okay, Pop, we have to get you outta here, “Pacey told his father as the rustling of the trees seemed to get louder. Mike had the right idea by not waiting for help to come to them. Another tree could fall at any moment. The Icehouse was just up the block and around the corner, Pacey knew, even though it was one hell of a trek in these current conditions.  But Mike was most likely safe and sound by now.

 

John shook his head stubbornly. “I can’t move, Pacey. I’ll wait for an, uh, ambulance. I can’t move.”

 

His father had never looked so vulnerable as he did in this particular moment, Pacey thought, not even after his heart attack had he looked this defeated. John Witter had always made sure to keep his tough guy persona on full display. Pacey wished they could pull or back the pickup out of the ditch, but he already knew that the ditch was too deep and the tires were seeped in mud. They had to carry his father out. “We need to move you now,” Pacey argued, “before a tree crushes this pickup, okay?”

 

“I’ll take my chances,” John replied gruffly.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Pop.” Gretchen sighed.

 

Pacey looked his father straight in the eye and said, “For once in your miserable life, listen to me. You are not gonna ruin my wedding by being crushed by a fucking pine tree. As much as I wish I could say I wouldn’t give a damn, I can’t.” He paused and then softened his voice for a final plea. “Please for once, trust me and let’s get outta here.”

 

After what seemed like an eternity, John nodded. “All right.”

 

“Thank you.” Pacey replied a bit dryly, but relief ran through his body

 

“I’ll pull the jeep a little closer,” Gretchen said as she took the keys from the pocket of Pacey’s coat, then took off toward the other vehicle

 

“Dawson,” Pacey said to the other man, still not relinquishing the role as leader, “Could you come around and we can carry him out from under his shoulders?”

 

Dawson nodded and ran to Pacey’s side. Despite some grunts from the former sheriff, the two men were able to maneuver John’s legs outside the vehicle and get him into a sitting position. Both Pacey and Dawson put an arm around the injured man’s back and slowly lifted up and out into the storm.

 

As the sky darkened into night and rain whipped around them, Pacey and Dawson walked on each side of John, bearing most of his weight.

 

Gretchen had the jeep parked just a few feet away off to side, and she was already holding the backdoor opened. “C’mon, hurry up!” she yelled at them.

 

Pacey opened his mouth to release a sarcastic retort and—.

 

“PACEY, LOOK OUT!” Dawson screamed.

 

 Pacey’s eyes snapped toward Dawson whose own eyes were fixated on something above. Pacey lifted his head up to see what it was and was struck on the side of his skull, making his arm slip from his father’s shoulders before he fell onto muddy, rain- drenched ground.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**__ **

**_ Chapter Twelve _ **

 

“Well, at least we don’t need to worry about Dad,” Bessie said after Joey filled her in on the call with their father. They stood outside Alexander’s room where the boy had just fallen asleep along with his own dad. “That’s something.”

 

 According to Mike, they had just left the restaurant en route to the Potter B&B, driving down Ferry Avenue when John Witter swerved to avoid a falling oak and their vehicle ended up buried in a muddy ditch. If John’s reaction time had been a split second later, Mike thought that they wouldn’t have been so lucky.

 

After realizing that Mike had forgotten his cell at the Icehouse and John had no cell service, the men knew that their best bet was to brave Hurricane Hilda and head back to the restaurant on foot. Unfortunately, John discovered he had searing backpain whenever he moved, leaving Mike to make the small trek on his own.

 

“But we don’t know about everyone else,” Joey said, her stomach continuing to clench into a hard ball of unease. “No one’s answering their phone.” She started to walk back toward the living room. “I’ve got to go see what’s happening.”

 

“Where are you going, Jo?” Bessie asked, following her into the now empty room. The guests seemed to have scattered throughout the B&B. “You going out there isn’t going to help the situation, you know.”

 

Joey turned and faced her sister. “I’m supposed to be getting married the day after tomorrow and my fiancé’s out there dealing with God-knows-what with our friends and family.” Her hand rubbed the tension building in the middle of her forehead and she sighed deeply. “I, I just can’t keep sitting here wait—."

 

Her cell buzzed.

 

Joey jumped at the sound. Her heart thumped rabidly.as she looked down at her phone.

 

“Who is it?” Bessie asked expectantly.

 

Joey looked at her sister as she answered the call. “Dawson?”

 

“Hey, Joey,” Dawson said, sounding a bit apprehensive, “Pacey wanted me to call you.”

 

“Pacey wanted you to call?” Joey echoed. “Why? What happened?”

 

“First I just want to put your mind at ease and say he’s, uh, conscious now.”

 

 “If he’s conscious now, that would mean Pacey was, uh, unconscious at one point, Dawson,” she replied, unable to keep her voice from steady. “What happened?” she asked again a bit harshly.

 

“Joey, Pacey’s gonna be okay.” Dawson tried to reassure her before saying, “We were just helping Pacey’s dad out of his truck when a, um, a branch snapped off of an overhead tree and hit him on the side of his head”

 

Joey gasped.

 

“God, no,” she whispered more to herself than to Dawson.

 

“He’s gonna be okay,” her friend repeated again. “We just arrived at the ER—Thank God it’s far enough inland not to be closed—and they’re checking out Pacey and his dad now.”

 

“Okay, okay, “Joey replied sort of absently as she rushed to the front door. “Dawson, please just tell him I’m on my way if he likes it or not.”

 

“Pacey already knows you would say that, you know,” he said lightly, “but I’ll tell him.”

 

Once Joey ended the call, she turned around and saw Bessie putting on her coat. “What are you doing?”

 

“What do you think? I’m going with you to the hospital.”

 

A sense of relief came over Joey and she hugged her sister. “Thanks, Bess.”

 

 

……………………………….

 

Pacey opened his eyelids and glanced around the white-walled, sterilized room. The corners of his mouth perked up into a soft smile as he took in the sight of Joey asleep next to his hospital bed. She sat sideways in the cushioned high-backed chair. Her body curled into a fetal position, her head awkwardly resting on her knees. A fleece blanket was draped around her shoulders.

 

His chest tightened.

 

It had been some night, he thought. He was lucky only to sustain a bump on the noggin that resulted in a minor concussion. Thankfully, he just broke the fall of a medium sized branch and not the whole tree. His father, on the other hand, had to have more tests, but all indicators pointed to a herniated disc in his lower back, and he would eventually need surgery. Pacey could just imagine the grumbling happening in room down the hall. According to Doug, their father would most likely have to stay a day or so more in the hospital, meaning that he would miss the wedding.

 

“Hmmm,” Joey muttered as she slowly raised her head and stretched out her legs. She rolled her neck around as she rubbed her nape, her face contorting into a painful grimace.

 

“Good morning, darlin.’”

 

Using her fingers as a comb, Joey swept her hair back away from her face, then she smirked at Pacey. “You’re way too chipper this morning for being the one in the hospital bed.”

 

“I’m also not the one with a stiff neck from sleeping in an uncomfortable chair all night.” His gaze stared her down.

 

“No, you’re just the one with a concussion,” she countered dryly before her voice softened. “How are you feeling?”

 

Pacey shrugged. “I’m all right, but I’d feel better if you didn’t risk it to come here last night. All it got you was a restless night.”

 

Joey scoffed. “What it got me was peace of mind of knowing that you were alive. As for a restless night, well, think of it as making us even.” She glanced down and then met his eyes again. “Uh, you were there for me, day in and day out, after my surgery. One restless night is the least I can do.”

 

“It’s not a competition, Jo.” He sighed. “I was there for you because I wanted to be there for you. You needed me.”

 

She leaned forward and laced her fingers with his. “Well, I like to believe you needed me here. Isn’t a relationship supposed to have a give and take? Especially a relationship that is on the brink of matrimony?”

 

Pacey grinned. “Point taken, Miss Potter.”

 

Joey gave a lopsided smile as she leaned in closer to him, meeting his lips with her own. He brought his hands up to cup her face. This was all he required to remedy his concussion, he thought, deepening the kiss, wanting to prolong the moment for as long as possible.

 

A light tapping sounded at the door before it opened.

 

Pacey and Joey looked toward the door in unison. Joey stood up, but she did not let go of his hand.

 

“Hello, sorry to interrupt.” Dr. Susan Stevenson gave a slight smile coming into the room. She was the neurologist who had been one of the unfortunate doctors on call during the storm last night. “How are you doing this morning, Pacey?”

 

“Can’t complain,” he said casually. “I feel all right.”

 

“No headaches, dizziness?” the doctor asked as she pulled out a penlight from the pocket of her white coat. She flashed the light into his’ eyes. “Any nausea?”

 

“Not since last night,” Pacey said, his pupils following the moving bright dot.

 

After Dr. Stevenson was finished with her brief exam, she picked up Pacey’s medical chart and read it for a moment. Then, she gave her assessment. “It seems things look okay for you to go home, Pacey, but I have to caution you if you have major bouts of dizziness or any other trouble, don’t hesitate to call my emergency number, okay? I want you to take it easy the next couple days.”

 

“Well, that will be difficult since our wedding’s tomorrow,” Pacey put in, looking at Joey to gain her reaction. She was biting down on her lower lip. “What’s wrong?” he asked her, refusing to let that pesky drop of dread settle in his gut.

 

“Uh, by earlier reports, Hurricane Hilda is almost out of here, and has been downgraded to a tropical storm,” Joey replied.

 

“What’s the bad news, Jo?”

 

“It’s just that we don’t know how much damage the Icehouse sustained during the worst of the storm,” she explained. “The brunt of Hilda missed us, but we could still have minor damage and flooding, Pacey.  It’s not an ideal setting for a wedding ceremony.”

 

“We could always elope like you suggested,” Pacey said with a joking tone even though he was dead serious. He knew that he wasn’t being practical. He knew that it wouldn’t be the perfect day if they had to deal with major damage and repairs. Then, there was the possibility of his father not being able to attend tomorrow— and that also would be counted as something that would make the day less than perfect, he admitted to himself.

 

Still.

 

He just didn’t want to wait a day longer to marry his bride. Simple as that.

 

Joey rolled her eyes and smiled. “Eloping is certainly an option, but like you pointed out, Pace, we’d have to bear the wrath of our family and friends.”

 

“Oh boy.” Dr. Stevenson laughed and interjected. “I’d just say whatever you guys decide, I’d recommend you stick to slow dancing for the foreseeable future, okay?”

 

“We will,” Joey replied, looking at Pacey with an unyielding expression.

 

“What she said.” He replied, his mouth slightly upturned.

 

The doctor smiled in return. “Good to hear. I’ll go get your discharge papers in order.” She was almost to the door when she turned around and said, “Congratulations, by the way.”

 

When they were alone once again, Pacey had to set his mind at ease. “You really don’t want to postpone the wedding, do you?” he asked Joey.

 

She shook her head. “At this point, I’d marry you in a pile of rubble if it came down to it. You should know that by now,” she said softly.

 

Pacey chuckled. “It’s still nice to hear, ya know.”

 

“Yeah, but having said that, the rational part of me knows that nothing is that simple,” she solemnly said. “I know you, Pace. You’ll regret it if your father isn’t well enough to be there, not to mention making sure the restaurant doesn’t need major repairs. Tell me I’m wrong?”

 

He sighed. “Sometimes I hate that you know me so well, but you’re right.” He rested his head back against the pillow and thought about it a moment. “Maybe we could postpone the inevitable until next Saturday. I hope all our guests can make it, but let’s not forget that the day’s supposed to be about us.”

 

 Her lips corked up. “I can handle one more week.”

 

“Yeah, it’s not that bad.”

 

…………………………..

 

 

The postponement of the wedding turned out to be unavoidable even if they hadn’t had the foresight to reschedule before seeing the damage firsthand. Even though the majority of Hilda’s reckoning centered around the state of New Hampshire, she had left a bit of an impression on Capeside, Mass as well. The town had withstood the three to five feet storm surge, but unfortunately there had been major flooding in parts due to the torrential rain.

 

And the Icehouse had gotten a taste of it.

 

When Pacey had stepped foot into the new renovated kitchen, there was about two feet of water flowing along the cabinets and creeping up around the walk-in refrigerator. However, the abundance of sandbags that Mike and John had almost killed themselves for had left the rest of the restaurant virtually untouched

 

For that, Pacey would be eternally grateful.

 

He was also eternally grateful due to the fact that he was not supposed to take part in strenuous work if there had been major damage. He was able to do what the doctor ordered without complaint, and spent the next couple days lounging around the Potter B&B and basking in the feigned irritation of his fiancée.

 

“Is this how you’re gonna spend all your time?” Joey asked one evening when everyone was out enjoying the first clear night after the storm. She put her hands on her hips as she leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom. “You’re watching the _Back to the Future_ trilogy for the thousandth time?”

 

“Hey, you can’t go wrong with McFly and the Doc.”

 

Joey laughed as she snatched the remote from his lap and laid down next to him.

 

“Hey, I’m the one trying to recover here.” He put his hand over his heart and then tried grabbing the remote back by stretching his body over hers.

 

“Well, marriage’s about compromise, Pace, and I think we should test out the concept.” She smiled meaningfully as she held the object out of his reach. “Besides, there are other enticing things we could be doing other than watching TV.”

 

He froze and his brow arched. “For instance?”

 

“This,” she whispered before her head lifted up and her lips caught his in a long, fervent kiss, making him agree to forget all about the classic trilogy for a couple hours. Before long, clothes were peeled away as they gave new meaning to the phrase rest and relaxation, turning a quiet night alone into a rigorous around of exercise that did wanders for his recovery and had him begging for more…

 

………………………

 

Unfortunately, a couple days later his well-spent recovery period had to come to an end and Pacey’s first stop was to go visit his father. The old man had just gotten released to go home after a three-day hospital stay due to numbness in his legs. According to John, his doctor didn’t think the car accident had caused the herniated disc, but it had exacerbated the symptoms. So, of course, the former-sheriff was under strict orders to remain on bed rest for the next few weeks. Naturally, John hadn’t liked to hear it, especially after learning that Pacey and Joey postponed their wedding partly because of him.

 

“This is ridiculous.” John threw back the covers and started getting out of bed. “I’m more than capable of helping with the cleanup and preparations. There was no reason to postpone, anyway. A little backache isn’t gonna make me a damn helpless invalid.”

 

“Pop, get back in that bed,” Pacey ordered. “We have enough help. It’s just a minor flood and the wedding preparations are almost done. But the only way you’ll be allowed to attend the nuptials is if you listen to doctor orders.”

 

“I’m not a child, Pacey!”

 

“Nobody said that, Pop, but being stubborn will only land you back in the hospital.

 

John scoffed, but he moved back under the covers.

It had been true that the flood and wedding preparations were taken care of by others. The water was pumped out and the kitchen was sterilized and wiped clean of the lingering smell of mildew that had been left behind. The wedding party— including Dawson, Doug, Jack, Gretchen, Andie, and even Drue and Audrey— came and aided Pacey and Joey by doing their part in the cleanup. They swept up leaves, branches, and other trash and debris that was strewn about outside of the restaurant. They also unpacked the equipment that had been put in storage before the storm.

 

With the help of the two best men, the father of the bride also did his part by putting a fresh coat of varnish on the extended deck where the ceremony would actually take place. Once the varnish had dried, lavender fabric draped chairs were set out in rows surrounding the waterfront deck for the modest crowd expected. A matching runner was placed down the aisle between the two sections of rows.  Purple orchid flower string lights were then hung above the partial roofed deck, providing a sort of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ aura.

 

Everything was set.

 

And then, the day finally arrived.

 

Pacey leisurely walked into his restaurant wearing a fitted black tux and matching skinny tie. He glanced around as the late afternoon sun shimmered off the water outside and bathed the dining room in brilliant, golden light.

 

Nobody else was here yet. Joey was still at the B&B getting ready with Bessie and her bridesmaids. His own entourage should be coming any minute now.  He should be shaking in his shoes, Pacey knew, but instead he was relaxed and calmly anticipating the next phase of his life with Joey by his side. After the murky tribulation in the last year, they had come out the other end stronger and better as individuals and as a united front. There was no doubt in his mind that they would be able to pass future tests with flying colors.

 

“Hey, man,” Drue strolled through the opened door in a tailored blue suit. “Am I the first one to arrive for this party?” he asked, looking around the room.

 

“Afraid so. Why are you here so early?”

 

The other man smiled. “Cheryl’s supposed to be meeting me.”

 

Pacey’s eyes widened. “So, you two worked things out?”

 

Drue shrugged. “We shall see.” He swallowed and then said, “Listen, Pacey, I know I was a jackass at the hurricane party. Joey probably filled you in.”

 

“She said that you were a drunken jackass, but yeah.”

 

“Yeah, well, I just wanted to clear the air. I, uh, can’t blame my shitty behavior entirely on my relationship problems. I was also kind of pissed that Scully wanted you as co-owner when I’ve been working with him longer than you.”

 

Drue was not telling him anything that he hadn’t already presumed, Pacey sighed. “I had an inkling. Look, Drue, I don’t want to talk about business now, but I was never planning to leave you high and dry. I’ve been thinking of promoting you to manager, but only if you can tolerate me being your boss.” Back in high school, Pacey had never thought he’d be offering Drue Valentine of all people a promotion, but there had been a lot of things he’d never fathomed in his youth. Marrying Josephine Potter was número uno on the unfathomable list, but look how that was turning out.

 

Drue grinned and nodded. “That’s a start, I guess.”

 

There was a rustle by the entrance. Both men turned to see Cheryl give a small smile and wave.

 

“That’s my cue,” Drue said before he shook Pacey’s hand and then walked over to his girlfriend.

 

As the couple was leaving, Doug and John Witter entered the room in their tuxes.  Pacey’s eyes went straight to his father. The man moved with a slight limp, but he didn’t appear to be in pain. His face looked stress-free and even content.

 

“You clean up nice, little brother.” Doug smirked, slapping Pacey on the back.

 

“Where’s your better half?”

 

“Jack’s chasing Amy around the deck with the help of Mom trying to calm her for her flower girl duties,” Doug grinned and then he sobered, “How are you holding up?”

 

“I’m more than okay. this is just supernumerary, ya know,” He shrugged. “It already feels like Joey and I are married.”

 

“She’s a lucky girl, Pace.” John said, breaking his silence.

 

Pacey regarded his father with a bit of surprise. Even after the recent shift in their relationship, compliments still felt alien coming from John Witter. Pacey didn’t think that would ever change, no matter how much time passed.

 

“What?” John looked from one son to the other. “I mean it,” he said to Pacey, “You became an honorable man, no thanks to me, I know, but I’m proud to call you my son. You did well for yourself.”

 

A mass formed in Pacey’s throat, making it hard to speak. “Thanks, Pop,” he finally replied as his father drew him into a hug.  
 

…………………………..

 

“Think of this is as your something new,” Audrey said as she snapped the sapphire butterfly hair-clip into Joey’s hair. The bride had already received a blue handkerchief and a borrowed ivory handbag from her bridesmaids. And of course, her dress counted as the something old. “How’s that?”  Audrey looked at Joey through the full-length mirror. Bessie and Andie stood behind Andrey with approving grins in their lavender, strapless dresses

 

“It’s perfect.” Joey smiled, tilting her head to the side to get a better look at the sparkling hair-clip. Her hair was swept up into a twisted chignon with the clip as the finishing touch. She couldn’t complain about her appearance, no matter how much she scrutinized to find a flaw. Some divine alchemy must have been in play, she thought, because she truly liked what she saw in her reflection.

 

Joey took a step back to get a full view of the finished product. The floral, lace dress fit her body effortlessly.  Her eyes didn’t automatically gravitate to her chest, making her wonder if her physical changes were on display. This dress had a deeper meaning other than highlighting the superficial details of one’s figure.  This dress brought a piece of her mother back to Joey on this day of all days, making her feel closer to Lilian than she had in a long time.

 

And maybe she just didn’t want to let any self-consciousness grab hold of her anymore.  The hurricane was one last wakeup call to not take anything for granted, to not take Pacey for granted. Life was more than making the right choices and hoping for the best. Life was about not waiting to make your life happen, to just be happy in the now.

 

And now, she just wanted to be happy with Pacey.

 

There was a knock on the bedroom door and Gretchen peaked her head in. “Limo’s here.” She looked at Joey. “Oh, you look lovely, Jo.  My brother will fall over himself when he sees you.”

 

“You’re beautiful, Sis!” Bessie sighed.

 

“You look truly gorgeous, Joey!” Andie giddily clapped her hands together.

 

“Yeah, yeah, she knows.” Audrey waved them off and then asked the bride, “Are you ready to marry our man?”

 

Joey rolled her eyes and laughed. “More than ready.”

 

………………………………

 

The laughter faded as soon as Joey arrived at the Icehouse and stepped up to the archway near the improvised aisle that she would walk down. Her stomach filled with a flurry of butterflies as she took in the lavender and pink tinted sky as the vibrant sun gradually dipped below the skyline.

 

Joey watched as Gretchen helped Amy steady her little basket of flower petals before she positioned herself in line with Bessie, Andie, and Audrey for their walk down the aisle. Joey was so absorbed in observing that she jumped when a shadow suddenly eclipsed over her body. Her head turned to see her father beaming at her with such pride, bringing her heart rate back down.

 

“You are the spitting image of your mother,” he said with an achingly poignant tone.

 

Joey smiled and slid her arm through the crook of his elbow. She slowly exhaled as the instrumental cover of _A Thousand Years_ began to play and the procession began to move down the aisle.

 

The words of the song ran through her head as she followed their lead with her father by her side.

 

_  
The day we met,_ __  
Frozen I held my breath  
Right from the start  
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart  
Beats fast  
Colors and promises  
How to be brave?  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall  
But watching you stand alone?  
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

Her eyes scanned the faces of their genial guests—Gail and Lily, Grams and Scully, Drue and Cheryl, Bodie and Alexander. Her gaze then fell to end of the deck, to the makeshift altar searching out _his_ face.

 

 

One step closer  
I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more

 

She saw the back of his head. He nodded at his two grinning best men before his head turned back toward the aisle. The amusement in his blue eyes changing to pure adoration as soon as his gaze locked with hers.

_One step closer_ __  
I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more

 

 

Then, she was with him, at the altar. Her father let go of her arm and kissed her cheek before taking his seat.

 

As a gentle breeze off the water caressed her face, her eyes found Pacey’s again.

 

_I love you,_ he mouthed, holding out his hand to her.

_I love you_ , Joey silently echoed back, lacing her fingers between his as the jitters in her stomach eased. In the past decade, they overcame fear and self-doubt to find their way back together. In the past year, they overcame everything from a cancer scare to a natural disaster to arrive at this very moment.

 

Whatever the future threw at them now, Joey only knew that they would meet it head on together.

 

 For better or for worse.

 

Always.

 


	13. Epilogue

**__ **

**_ Epilogue _ **

**__ **

Joey took a seat at the bar and surveyed the festive crowd that packed Sully’s restaurant as Mariah’s _All I Want for Christmas Is You_ drifted out through the sound system, reminding even the Scroogish of all individuals that Christmas was a week away. If that wasn’t enough, countless lights and ropes of pine garland adorned every wall and window of the establishment, sparking plenty of holiday spirit for the season.

The side of Joey’s mouth tilted up when she spotted Pacey chatting with customers at a corner booth as he poured them some coffee. His head bobbed and he chuckled at something one of customers had said, accentuating once again how being personable truly put Pacey in his element as a restaurateur. In the year and half since Sully had handed over the reins to him, Pacey turned this place into one of the most popular eateries in the city, earning rave reviews in _Customer Reports_ and the _New York Times_. Not only did people love his food, but they also loved Pacey Witter, the man. Of course, this wasn’t a huge shock to his wife.

Pacey glanced in Joey’s direction, his eyes appearing to slowly take her in like savoring a chilled sip of the most expensive champagne, making her forget for a second all that bombarded her mind. _One moment,_ he signaled to her by holding up his index finger. Their plan had been to have a quiet night in, decorating their new townhouse for the holiday, and hopefully celebrating some big news after her meeting today. But sometimes fate had different plans, Joey thought, trying to keep the turbulent waves at bay in her stomach.

“Well, what’s the verdict?” Pacey asked Joey a couple minutes later when he approached, his voice carrying an eager child-like quality.

Joey waited a beat and then she grinned. “They bought it. They bought my manuscript!” Her eyes widened after she said the words. She was still digesting the momentous news that she would in fact be a published author. When she had begun writing a memoir all those months ago, she’d known that being a professional editor wouldn’t give her an automatic opening to becoming published. She had to work for it. She wanted to work for it.

The memoir would be about her cancer scare. This meant she had to plunge deep into the whirlwind of emotion that she had experienced. It had turned out to be very theoretic exercise and helped her become more self-aware to her misgivings. However, this book couldn’t just be a health journal about determining whether to get a prophylactic mastectomy. It had to pull at the heartstrings and be relatable to the reader. Therefore, she’d opened up about her complex and intricate relationships, especially with Pacey, turning the memoir into a true love story.

“What did I tell ya?” Pacey replied, pulling her into a hug. “I knew your publisher couldn’t bypass such a superb manuscript.” He kissed her forehead.

Joey leaned back and looked him in the eye. “And how, pray tell, do you know it was superb?” A rule a professor once gave her was to never let your friends or family read your unpublished work to avoid bias opinions. And Joey stood by that rule, even from her adoring spouse. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust his opinion; it was that she trusted his opinion a little too much.

“I just know you are a talented woman and you wouldn’t be anything less than superb.” He gave a boyish smile. “I can’t wait to get my very own copy, so I can finally read it, by the way.”

“Uh-huh.” Joey laughed and then sobered. “Are you just about ready to go?”

Pacey sighed. “Unfortunately, we’re out two waitresses. Becky and Tara have the flu. I called Drue, and we’re trying to find backup, but everybody has holiday-related plans.”

“I bet Drue loved that.”

“Actually, he was relieved. He was looking for an out to having dinner with Cheryl’s parents.”

Joey turned toward the kitchen.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Pacey called out.

She spun around and smiled. “Just because I’m about to be a published author doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to wait tables.”

Her husband chuckled. “Have I mentioned how much I love you?”

Joey laughingly rolled her eyes. ‘Why do you think I’m doing this?” She snickered walking backward through the swinging doors.

 

………………………………………………………………………

“Home sweet home,” Pacey tiredly announced a couple hours later as they entered the foyer of their townhouse that was only a few short blocks away from Sully’s restaurant. It was just about to turn 9pm, and the crisp smell of snow hung heavily in this New York night air, giving them the perfect opportunity to make use of their stone fireplace, which had been one of the draws that made the newlyweds want this place to be their first official home—well, that, and the brand-new renovated kitchen, Pacey noted satisfyingly in his head as he took off his coat before he turned toward his wife. “Anything worth mentioning?”

Joey riffled though the mail. “It’s only bills and junk—oh, we received a Christmas card from Grams and Sully.” She opened it and held up a card with the Eiffel Tower lit up with red and green sparkling lights encircled by a large snowflake. The older couple had decided to take the leap and take a trip to Paris together after Joey had spoken of how memorable her time there was. Sully had wanted to make the most of his retirement, and he’d helped Evelyn slowly come out of her shell of grief after Jen’s passing. After all their loss, they found a sense of peace and understanding with one another. “They say that they’re having a wonderful time,” Joey relayed their message, “but they promise to be back in Capeside next week for Christmas Day.”

Pacey nodded and dryly replied, “Sure, who wants to miss a Witter-Potter Christmas with our fathers in charge.” Last year John and Mike had put Clark Griswold to shame with their over-the-top light display for the Icehouse that sent Capeside Mass into a massive blackout for almost forty-eight hours straight.

“Don’t remind me.” Joey grimaced. “We’re still paying for that.”

“Don’t I know it.” Pacey scoffed and then turned the subject to the current evening. “Now what do you say I’ll make a fire and then cook us up something to eat.” He moved toward the living room.

“Wait, Pace.”

He stopped mid-step and pivoted back around with a brow raised.

“Can you go up and get the box of ornaments that Bessie sent? “Joey asked with a weary voice, her eyelids appearing half-shut. “It’s in the guest room. My feet are killing me from waiting tables.”

“Then, wait for tomorrow, Jo. There’s no time-constraint on decorating.”

“Yeah, I know—but I want to get it done; I hate that we have a half-naked tree.”

His mouth tugged up, “Okay, okay, you’re right, it’s an abomination having a half-naked tree. What would our neighbors think after all?” We may be blacklisted from the neighborhood block party, and we can’t have that, now can we?”.

Joey gave him a pointed look, seemingly trying to keep a straight face. ‘Are you done?”

Pacey chuckled all the way up the stairs. Even after all these years and he still couldn’t pass up an opportunity to needle her, to get her distinctive and lively reaction. It never failed to send a jolt through him, making their life never dull and constantly surprising, he thought as he stepped into the guest room.

The box sat right there on the bed with the top unsealed. He saw a white, plastic pole sticking out as he moved closer. His hand grabbed onto the object and lifted it up. What the —a baby mobile for a crib dangled down from his outstretched arm. Santa and his reindeer swung from strings. His gaze slowly turned back to the box. A book rested on the surface amid all the homemade ornaments. Pacey’s eyes rounded as he stared at the title.

_What to Expect When You’re Expecting._

With the rest of the box forgotten, Pacey went back downstairs, his mind reeling.

In the living room. Joey was waiting for him by the lit tree. Her expectant face was all he needed to be certain.

Nevertheless, he went in with a joke. “Bess sure doesn’t know how to be subtle with her hints of wanting a niece or nephew, does she?” He put down the mobile and book on the couch before closing the distance between them.

Joey gave a wobbly smile. “It’s not Bess.”

“I know.” Pacey grinned. “Jo, why didn’t you tell me you had a suspicion?”

“Well, I wanted to be the one to surprise you this time. After all, you are the king of grand gestures.” She laughed, her gaze becoming misty.

“But don’t you think our baby’s the grandest gesture of them all?” He replied, his features softening as he tenderly laid his palm over Joey’s still flat abdomen.

“I guess, as corny as it sounds,” she said, slightly smiling.

 “Merry Christmas, Jo.”

“Merry Christmas, Pace.” Joey covered his hand with her own, his mouth seeking out hers as they set out on yet another lively journey, together.

 

 

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> This story is complete and already posted on a couple other sites. I'm just doing minor-polishing and decided to post it here as well. I'll probably put up a chapter or two per day.


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